Moving to Hanoi with kids - scared to death and need advice

My husband is being transferred to Hanoi - we have both travelled extensively - I went to China alone with a backpack in my 20's - but now I have kids and that sense of adventure seems to have dissipated with motherhood. I have a 4 year old and a newborn and I am terrified first and foremost of disease and food safety for my kids. I know I'm probably being alarmist and expats live in Hanoi with kids without problems - but from what I've read about health care standards and it being the epicentre of avian flu, etc.. even getting tb from someone on the street or a domestic helper. I am just terrified of going and something happening to one of my kids. I get upset when my kids get a cold. Anyone have some comforting advice for me? I am just in tears thinking we are putting our kids in harm's way with this move - we have lived in a comfy suburb in the U.S. since having kids and they are used to organic food and most importantly, SAFE food - I'm even worried about their nutrition needs being met there as much as disease. We'll be living in a nice place on West Lake and the job is only 2-3 years and then we return - Can anyone please help talk me down from this hysteria - thanks.

Well, if it is a comfort, your children will probably have a healthier diet than in Hanoi than in the US. As for bird flu - more die in the US from West Nile or Legionnaires than in Vietnam of bird flu which - as you can check from the site on http://www.cdc.gov/ is not a major problem for humans anywhere in the world yet. As for TB - well, that is more a problem of poor housing and nutrition affecting the immune system, than of the presence of TB bacilli in the lung. In fact, you and I probably have one TB bacillus in the lung right now.

quinnc, not much help i am afraid but why are you moving if this is how you fee about it? I am totally with you, Hanoi is just not one of the places i would want to live i am afraid, but then, there is no way i would move there either - can your husband say "no" to the move?

Have you ever been to hanoi? maybe you should go and check it out. it may not be as terrible as you imagine it to be.

Hanoi is probably nowhere near as bad as you think. It won't be as convenient as the US, but certainly you will be in the upper strata of society, meaning domestic help and enough money relatively speaking to insulate yourself from the dirt and disease that are likely prevalent in poorer parts.


Then again, if you really really don't want to go, talk about it with your husband. I would still go on a reconnaissance trip. Nothing like seeing it first hand.



"even getting tb from someone on the street or a domestic helper. I am just terrified of going and something happening to one of my kids. I get upset when my kids get a cold. Anyone have some comforting advice for me?"


The tb thing is easily remedied. Just get the whole family vaccinated. Also get the helper vaccinated. This is probably overkill since as docboat says tb is not a big problem if you are well fed and have decent hygiene, but it may serve to allay your fears. Personally I would be more afraid of hepatitis but there's a vaccine for that too.


As for getting upset when the kids have a cold, I think you may be overreacting. Kids get sick. It's part of growing up. It also strengthens their immune systems. Many doctors feel that "modern" parents are overprotective and kids are "too clean". Later in life they pay by being more susceptible to disease.



"I'm even worried about their nutrition needs being met there as much as disease. "


"Well, if it is a comfort, your children will probably have a healthier diet than in Hanoi than in the US"


On average nutrition in many highly developed countries, and especially the US, is not very good. Too much fat, too much sugar, too many calories, too much red meat, too many processed foods. Not enough vegetables, not enough fruit, not enough fiber.


If you know how to give them a balanced diet you should have no issues in Hanoi. You probably won't find a lot of prepackaged ready made food but that stuff tends to be pretty bad for you so I don't see it as a bad thing.


Also when you think about it, 100 years ago all farming was "organic". The farming methods in less developed countries have lower yields but they also tend to use fewer chemicals fertilizers and pesticides.

I have friends living in Saigon with 3 small kids and they are very happy, nobody's ever suffered from food poisoning or anything, and we visited them with our 2 year old with similar satisfaction.

I think you are overreacting. Do visit Vietnam first, indeed, I'm sure it will help. Supermarkets there sell all sorts of brands, and there are many ways to wash your fruits and veggies with imported sprays purchased locally.

Are you sure your reaction is not due to the seemingly enormous change in what you evisioned your family life would be? It can be a quite stressful, it is quite a big move, but hopefully, it's just that?

I agree with Cara, if you're starting off with such negative feeling, you're only ensuring your time there will be a disaster.

Visit Vietnam, it's a beautiful, fascinating place and the vietnamese people are extremely nice. Just try Vietnamese coffee, it will change your mind!!

I cannot speak for Hanoi but I have lived in Saigon now for 4 years and had much the same fears as you, we came from living in Macau for 6 years, we also have 2 children aged 4 and 1 and really have had no problems at all. I can tell you that the SOS international clinic there in Hanoi has just acquired a great paediatrician who spends 3 days here in Saigon and 3 days in Hanoi so if you have any worries with your kids, he's your guy. I can give you details if you pm me. As for worries regarding disease it's no different to anywhere else in Asia and if you're worried about any potential helper having things like TB, you can always get them to have a check with the clinic first, I know many people who have done that.


Food really is not an issue here if you use well known grocery stores, I think you will be pleasantly surprised, OK it's not like you would get at home but quality and variety is pretty good and improving all the time.


Don't stress too much!!!


Good luck.

Feel free to post the SOS info here

Hanoi is a great place. I've not lived there, but visited there twice. Comparing it to living in China, which we did for 6 years, it's cleaner, better air quality and sweet people. With regards to disease, I think most expats find that they are healthier overseas. I mean, I lived in GZ during The Bird Flu and SARS so called epidemics. I never knew anyone who was affected by it. Food is fresher...it's picked that day and in the market by morning. Give it a wash and cook it up and you'll be amazed at how good it tastes. The western food in the shops and restaurants in Hanoi was first rate. Great holidays too, check out www.handspan.com for a very trustworthy agency.


Living overseas is SO good for people...it broadens your horizons, can let you save lots of money and can teach you a great deal of patience and tolerance. We never regretted it.


I recommend talking to the company who is hiring your husband. I bet they have families already there who can allay your fears. There are also other expat forums for living in Hanoi. Do a google search for expat Hanoi and you will learn a LOT.


Hang in there, sweetie. Once you get over there and get over culture shock, you will NOT want to come home. I'm back in Canada and really miss China.