Posted by
lulu
20 yrs ago
id been out of a long relationship with a eurasian boyfriend for a long time, 6 years now. We been went out for nearly 10 years. During the past 6 years, i find it is so hard to get a real boyfriend. i met a lot of guys through net, real life, etc., and i try to go out with a few of them. But it is just so hard to find a boyfriend, most of them just want to be sex partners or they are attached. i am fed up, i gave up dating and meeting people sometime, but i cannot help to feel lonely sometime cos i am travelling alone, shopping alone and watching movie alone....
is boyfriend not exisitng any more, btw lam late 30s now, i think i will stay like htis for the rest of my life, i do ont need to get married, i just want to have a boyfriend, a company...
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rats
20 yrs ago
Only at your late 30s? Have you not watched 'Sex n the City'? Trust me, you have nothing to worry about :)
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Life
20 yrs ago
rats: did she say she lived in manhattan?
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lulu
20 yrs ago
I like "sex & the City" , but i do not really live like them. They even have more chances to meet good looking guys but i dun think there are many in HK.
Sunday all alone at home.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
I was thinking about that too, even overseas chinese or anything that i can have a conversation...but it is just not easy.
I do try to know guys via friends but then still the good ones are attached or turn out just want sex. I am not bother looking anymore , but still anyone that comes a chance is still "Crap"
I just want someone i can share loving feeling, some i could care and to love him, i dun mind whether he love me 100% but to love somebody is such a great feeling.
but no one wants it, i still got my family and friends to love, but it is just something missing....
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lulu
20 yrs ago
If I move to England , i can find someone easier, but then i cannot make a living there, so i choose to live and be alone ...
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lulu
20 yrs ago
My ex sex partner is living in Singapore...he got a lot of fun sleeping around too, so whats the difference?
Not many guys want to be a "boyfriend" cos they are too selfish and too many choices to paly around. Women is a bit lazier, just different animal.
Somehow i do not mind my boyfridn fool around a bit, but it just that i know he cares.... am i stupid? No i just face the reality...
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lulu
20 yrs ago
well boy> he seems to have frequent test and condoms make sure he have not got AIDS. but then he still enjoy his "Stud" life and never ending suppli in SIN too.
Space dust> yes , people call us slut anyway, once they know you told a guy u slept with 5 people, they will think you slept with 20!! Then a guy slept with 5 people, he will say he slept with 20 to you!! that is the difference, think "sex & the City" did mention that ....
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well, why waste ur time and energy to find someone who might not exist, just try to enjoy and use them. Don't hold any expectations to meet the great guy who just hv car crash 10mins ago. Just remember one thing, live your own lives, love urselves, don't lower ur standard, u deserve more if u r really great. Why care abt others calling us what...we are we...we can rule the world, and we can fool it too...
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When they wanted to have sex, what did you do?
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i've mentioned, use men for sex and afterwards kick them out of bed, simple and easy...get it dude.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
woohoo, seems like a steamy conversation was going on after bed time!
Anyway, candy> i do understand what you mean , we can treat men as men treat us, but then i think we are diffierent animal, at least i cannot treat sex as sex only, i got to like and fond of a person to have sex and enjoy them. Women do not need sex as a release of pressure or some basic human physical instinct. I read a magazine that wrote : "Sex: man just need a place, but woman need a reason." That is so true huh.
well i dun mind sex but i just need a bit more, is that so difficult? Yes, I think so nowadays.
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lulu, in fact i read that too, it's by Ian Kerner. But the more u want, the more u feel u r a loser. Ian has a new book 'be honest, you are not into him either', there are something just so right...Also, i think there some guys down the road who are not just for simple shag, they can give or want to receive sth more than sex, like 'friends with benefits', if it's what u want, don't think it's that difficult to place yourself in the meantimer treadmill, but control ur emotional issue well, don't fall on this edge. Women always are the victims in relationships.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
RTBW> truely agreed. I think i heard too much of this encouraging words from people and then still have the hope to get some "not just sex" friends. Morover, I also want avoid all the expectations and phone calls after sex or innimate encounter. But it all turn out to very much the same. First they call you or text you 10 times a day, to have a friendly chat and have a social drink and so on. Then they know you fall into the trap, and attracted by him, then a bit of passionate snogging, bed time...then may be 2 text a day, then no text at all. Surely they will call back again, after a week may be...saying "Fancy a shag? " then you can make a choice, is to sleep again with him or not.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
well, thanks but no thanks.
I am a bit sacred of the "male" issue. I could not handle them, but i also do not like female so i cannot be a lesiban, I want to start as being a celibate, but it is diffiuclt...
Jistin> i do agree a lot of women are winners and a lot of "nice humble men" being victimised but those women are not me. why i can never be one of those?
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Cori> i dun mind if i can really control someone, but i dun think i can. I am just ont those kind of person. Anyway, may be JC is taking the piss but then i am also agreed in certain extend cos i know many women are like that.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
well, no one want to be "controlled" but at the end of the day, relationships work like that to last a bit longer.....
There is not many "fair and peaceful" relationship exisitng anymore, not totally hopless but most do.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Cheers, JC.
Actually i have no idea of how to handle any relationship anymore.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
well thanks coir, I wish i could be like that woman. To be honest, i know a lot of peoplae are like that, living with 6 members of her family in housing estate in Tuen Mun, and working as a clerk. All they want in their lives is to get a hubby which they can move over and get feed on. Not totally dependent, but at least they do not need to sleep in bunk beds.
I think i have standards, I am too spoilted myself and i am not rushing into anything. I got my own family and my own room/space, freedom as i can travel anytime i want. Got my bits of salary to spend (not much), but still can do what ever i want to do. I cannot ask any of the guy i met to marry me or look after me. That is too bad, i should learn to be more uselss and brainless, men like this sort of women...
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Coir> but i have to say there is a lot of shallow men around, especially those who are still available !!
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HEY , LULU
As my suggestion, never ever try a b/f in CHINA . They are not trustful .evenfor those who is not china man , but need to working in CHINA , are even more worse,so many CHINA people want to get out of china and go to western country ... do u know , they can use many tricks as your LOVER AND get out ...
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[quote='lulu']
id been out of a long relationship with a eurasian boyfriend for a long time, 6 years now. We been went out for nearly 10 years. During the past 6 years, i find it is so hard to get a real boyfriend. i met a lot of guys through net, real life, etc., and i try to go out with a few of them. But it is just so hard to find a boyfriend, most of them just want to be sex partners or they are attached. i am fed up, i gave up dating and meeting people sometime, but i cannot help to feel lonely sometime cos i am travelling alone, shopping alone and watching movie alone....
is boyfriend not exisitng any more, btw lam late 30s now, i think i will stay like htis for the rest of my life, i do ont need to get married, i just want to have a boyfriend, a company...
[/quote]
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hello,dear girl.im chinese,but now in thailand.i will go back to china on sep.10.and pass hongkong.my thai no is zero nine eight two six five one two two.can you contact,and i d like to meet you in hk.do worry everything!im 35.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
ydm> thanks but i am not posting a personals here. I am really waiting for a boyfriend but i am not in a rush and i am actually travelling at the mo for my work too, so thanks for the wiritng anyway. :)
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lulu
20 yrs ago
feel like bitten to pieces already...:(
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lulu
i am just telling a true fact , so be careful ,
everyone will think , you are stupid , but not me ,,, but ....
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Just came back from work from overseas today and text the guy i was thinking of, and all i got is "i am with my girlfriend, enough." Somehow i think i jst not good enough...I always be those second choice.
I want to cry but no tears from my eyes....
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lulu
20 yrs ago
up to you> its not your business that i am ugly or not and it is a "woman only" forum, women will not talk like that.
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"Up to you" what are you looking for exactly? What do you want to tell us? Do you seek some help?
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Lulu...come out with me then...plenty of men
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dear lulu,
I would like to ask u a quite personal question. Do u think u look desperate? I've had a few friends tell me that men can sense when a woman is desperate. And that either turns a man off or you're ONS material.
Cheer up thou. Maybe a trip to Europe or some far away country may bring unexpected yields and the much needed confidence! Too bad i'm in Singapore. You could join my friends and i for a good night out!
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lulu
20 yrs ago
No i do not look desperate at all. Actually i did not meet many people cos i dun go out much. And many friends asked to be more forward, dress more sexy, etc...but i did not do so. Cos i think I got enough hassle already.
May be i find someone i like i will appeal desperate but i think that happened 3 times in 6 years i being single.
I can meet a lot of "nice men" and they can be very good boyfriend, but i think i am not into those type of "normal simple guy" and i still not meeting the right person i like and so happen to be a nice guy, that is.
Tough.
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If you dont like normal simple guys what sort do you like? Do you even really, truly know what you are looking for?
Are all the guys crap, or only the ones that want you? Do you only want men that dont want you or are unavailable?
I think we have already established that it is not the men's fault but something within yourself that needs fixing. Do you always spend your time feeling sorry about yourself and your life. Is there some amount of self loathing and pity that you need to address due to a distant past? Because of this, do you think having a man will 'fix things' for you,or make your life better and more complete? You know it wont.
And since it hasn't you are now lamenting your singlehood, which realy isnt the source of your unhappiness.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Blzac> thanks. I know what i like, sense of humour, lively and very english. I am sorry to say that cos a typical hong kong guy like to go to sing karaoke, happy being in a little fish pond, and reading comic books, and hold your flowers and hangdbag when out, this is not really my kind of man. I know i am difficult, i am not those looking for gewilo but i do need someone that i can communicate with, mainly overseas chinese or westerners. So my chances getting less.
No not all the guys crap, just those i want.no i like men that is available and single but shame most of the ones i like are not and i will not bother to fight or anything at all too.
Anyway, I am not blaming and self pity cos i know i choose a difficult road to walk and it takes times. It might take forever and i prepare to be single for the rest of my life, but somehow just cannot helping sad and feel sorry a bit.....
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well I would say just do what you like: go out with friends, travel and have fun on your own. Because I met a lot of people who met there life partners during a periode, when they thought 'well, I can be realy good on my own and enjoy it'. They weren't searching for a partner, but i guess they just had an aura of satisfaction around them.
The best example are my parents they met in their early thirties married after a year and now they are together for over 25 years, still happy. Fascinating..
btw as I'm a freshgirl could anybody explain to me the 5C's...sorry for not knowing..
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Iain
20 yrs ago
Cash, Credit card, Condo, Car, Career
Think I got it right, it essentialy applies to Singaporean girls/women, it's a bit of a generalisation if you ask me
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Iain, thanks a lot again a little smarter ;)
but I agree with you it is a bit of a generalisation.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Iain> I never think of the 5C whenever i met a guy, i just need them to have a job!
Oh it's friday again, i feel so bored cos nowhere to go during the weekend. All my girl friends are either hanging out with their boyfriends or not in HK. Having a facial on the sunday is the only thing i have for so far...
I will try to think of all the unhappy experiences i had last week...
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lulu
20 yrs ago
thanks Uncle Fester, one of my guy that i like look like Uncle Fester have his birthday today! But base on my principle, I should be angry with him and not speaking to him!! So i just send him a text. :((((
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Cheer up! ;P
Right time right person. No hurry or desperate. We all have our own charm and sure will have some people know we are great. Don't worry anything and enjoy our life with welcome our next one.
After I split up with my ex for half year, I still feel sad sometimes. Especial the time feel lonely, sometimes I also think about just get someone to use but I think that's not something I really would do. I just can't. I think I am not easy-going in this way.
When I feel really bad, now I prefer to read or see a movie even alone but still better than get into a bad/bored date. I think a bored dinner is really torture.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Yeah I agree going with someone that have different "tone" of language is very intorlable, even for a drink.
Well i think i got something wrong, thats it!
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Hey Lulu, no worries and don't spend too much time worrying about yourself....just got dumped by my GF who was the love of my life, thought I was going crazy but I'm moving on...if you could find BF before, means you've got something right ! Good luck !
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Thanks Frenchchinaasia...
*watch the clock ticking and also looking at the phone* nobody calls, not even girlie friends...
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mambo
20 yrs ago
Are you sure U NOT boring?? I'm curious...
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lulu
20 yrs ago
No i am NOT boring, definitely.
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mambo
20 yrs ago
What is it then?? In your opinion.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
I dunno. May be i am looking at a narrow range of guys i like, i do not go out enough to meet people and i am not that young anymore.
Thou i look young but it still counts.
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mambo
20 yrs ago
U dont have to go out to meet people, its 'over-rated'!! Try Geebs 'list'!
I'm not convinced by your explanations, but hey, its not my life!!
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Geeb> i do not have any to call that lives in Hong kong, the others just upsets and hurts me.
Classes> no, i tried accupunture, property classes
Gym> yes 2 times a week at work
Friends> many, but most of them have families and boyfriends
Shopping> Yes, but cannot go too often cos i am overspending
Movies> yes , a lot of times on my own
I am planning to go to Shenzen tomorrow to do a bit of nail, but i doubt my mom will be free to accompany, if not i will go on my own.
Sunday is just facial, i been to church too, but chrisitan believes seems a bit difference from what i think.
I dun expect guys to come along, and they never come along....
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lulu
20 yrs ago
well thanks Geeb.
Actually i am on my own a lot. Just occasionally feel really lonely, especially when i had just did a lot of duty travel on my own and met a few rude people in hong kong ....
Honestly, not many people find i am desperate, not many people think i am single too. They think i always go out and have millions of boyfriends.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Geeb> just like joining this forum i get to talk to few new girls! :)
but they all have dates tonight! hahahahaha...i will go back and watch the final episode of TVB series, go to bed early...and try to convince my mom to go to shenzen with me tomorrow.*tearful smile*
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lulu
20 yrs ago
where about? I know they always hang out on Friday but i am not sure where...
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Recently i heard a lot of horrid stories about attached mem dating women "just after sex", is it really all the good men gone in hong kong? *sigh*
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lulu
20 yrs ago
BP> they going out even today? Sorry not too sure where bulldog is but i need to go to Soho tonight to celebrate my friend's Bday. Thanks for the inform anyway. :)
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Change all the time, and i already gave up trying hahahaha....
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lulu
20 yrs ago
i love dogs, i do think dogs is better than men! :)
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for some things - dogs are infinitely better!!! no doubt about it.
But men - can't reaaly live without them either
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"My friend's got a girlfriend
man he hates that bitch
he tells me everyday
he says "man I really gotta lose my chick
in the worst kinda way"
she sits on her a** he works his hands to the bone
to give her money every payday
but she wants more dinero just to stay at home
well my friend you gotta say
CHORUS--I won't pay I won't pay ya no way
why don't you get a job
say no way say no way no way
why don't you get a job
I guess all his money well it isn't enough
to keep her bill collectors at bay
I guess all his money well it isn't enough
cause that girl's got expensive taste
CHORUS
well I guess it ain't easy doin nothin at all
oh yeah
but hey man free rides just don't come along
everyday "
The Offspring
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lulu > just read your post and I got same feeling with you and thought we are the same..... but may be I bit lucky than you as I have few female friends who is same suitation and we do hung out during weekend. But of course, we all hope will find a boyfriend soon and hang out during the weekend. Yes, and I agreed with you too, most of the guys I met are attached or just want sex..... and I can't just use men for sex as I need love too.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Well i found there are many guys around calling me but i really do not know what they want, why so hard to have a stable relation. Are people all getting too greedy and selfish? Actually i think the feeling is great to love and like somebody, why people are so mean these days?
I feel a bit down today.
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lulu
20 yrs ago
Berrypicker> somehow i know they might not only look for sex but they just do not want to get any closer to understanding. They are too scare to be honest and open themselves.
I just like to have a normal boyfriend, which can hold hands in public, going out for a movie and open their hearts.
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