Posted by
ohoh
21 yrs ago
sylph, i also think that it's her bf who might have interests in you (as detected by her xth sense), rather than she thinks you're anyhow after her bf. So the measures are against her bf, don't take it personally to you...
there always a unsecure period, before you'd let your s-others to meet anybody... longer or shorter... only thing is you don't want to affect your relationship with your friend because of her bf, in any aspects (even if you did have any feelings to him at all...)
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ohoh
21 yrs ago
well 2-3 years could be long enough for somebody, but since her french buddy like to joke around, it's your friend here don't yet have the security! so you could help out your friend by giving her a bit support... but at the end their stuff will always to be resolved by themselves...
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sylph, don't let it bother you too much. Maybe it is not bothering you any more because it has been a long time since you wrote this notice. The problem is a typical example to show that people lack for trust and security. Lovers and friends are very close relationships,but sometimes people tell lies, do some selfish and crazy things, so they are hurt each other. From what you said, there was no apparent conflict among you three. It was not as bad as you imagined. They are still lovers, you are still a friend of them. Don't feel frustrated if you are not invited, you may have you own life to live. Cheers!
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fact:
1) you are single
2) you like his boyfriend company, you laugh at his jokes,
3) they have been together for 3 years!
4) admit it, under certain circumstances, if his bf make the move, you probably would say yes.
5) yeah yeah yeah things got out of hand, we can't help it, it just happen......
trust between men and women? trust between friends and their available and laugh at his joke wink wink nudge nudge BF
r u serious?
you should watch "when harry met sally".
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obvious I meant "her" above, but it could be one of those f slip....
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mumbo
20 yrs ago
Do you have any ideas how's their relationship right now? maybe it's rocky.... and she feel insecure. give her sometime to sort things out if you guy're good friend ..always bounce back.
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Actually I take Sylph's side on this.
I was on the recieving end of this kind of treatment before and I have to say it sucks. However, the 'friend' in questions actually e-mailed me and asked that I didn't flirt with or tell racey jokes to her b/f. The simple fact was that I didn't flirt with him and I can't carry a joke(or a tune) to save my life. I was totally poleaxed by her e-mail. After talking to some friends about what had happened I soon realised the 'issue' was with her and not me. A week later I mailed her back and told her she needed to sort her sh*t out and stop lashing out at the people who would always be there for her.
So........yes, you can swallow it and be supportive up to a point but if this friend actually verbalises her insecurities to you, stick up for yourself. You'll be doing her a favour in the long-run.
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and a favour to yourself....
I have been on the receiving end of such insecure behaviour, but this time the b/f kept telling her when she left him that he had slept with one of her friends....and when she called me and started chatting, and then said, "he has slept with one of my friends"....I said, "no, not possible", but stopped short of saying we all hate him....then the penny dropped, and I said, "You don't mean me do you.....?"....and gasped when I realised she did mean me. That guy was an evil bastard.
She still thinks I did, needless to say in the next relationship she kept her boyfriend under lock and key from me, and then after that broke up started to write to my boyfriend and say bad things about me....
Needless to say our friendship ended a long time ago over her insecurities - that is something that you can only put up with for so long - ...and I was shocked that she would even think I would do that to a friend. Everyone supported me. He had obviously tapped into the fact that she was insecure herself, and I somehow fitted into this equation. Evil weavil.
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I totally agree! You should never pussyfoot around a friend about this sort of thing, it is not supportive in the least.
It's a shame it ended your friendship but this guys comments obviously damaged any trust there was. Some people can be really cruel.
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Shame, but she still carries on like that...and we know the same people....but as I left the small community of friends two decades ago, what it means for me really, is not a loss of the friendship because in a case like that I think that she had no idea of how much of a friend I was to her, but I can see that behaviour coming from a mile off, and as they say - you live and learn.
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Something like that is very difficult to overcome in a friendship. It's sad to lose a friend but ultimately you are better off without them when they start to believe rubbish like that.
Onwards and upwards!
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ptg
18 yrs ago
i smell fishy sylph. you are falling for your friend's bf that's why you want him around with your friend. ;)
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