Posted by
Claire
20 yrs ago
FOTH> It's one of those commercialised events exported from the US, along with the ghastly , derisible expression "We're pregnant".
Even worse are the ridiculous "games" that attendees are expected to play. The arrival of a baby is not an excuse to make adults behave childishly, IMHO. [Cringing while thinking about it]
Yeyo>Depends on how close you are to the expectant mother. If immediate boss you may need to put in a little bit more. Colleague on equal level a bit less. It also depends on the size of the pool. A smaller pool requires a larger donation by each person. See if an envelope goes around and see what others give. Or ask a colleague what is the "usual" amount. But don't give any more than you can afford just to please your colleagues.
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FOTH> Agreed, if a couple wants it they pay for it. Where I hail from most mothers don't want anything before the baby is born, just in case...
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It is just a celebration of an important happy event in someones life. They normally are not huge affairs, (morning, afternoon tea or lunch) and sometimes they also coincide with the mother leaving her place of work permanently - this leaving work doesn't happen as much any more.
Gifts normally or shouldn't be huge - a few outfits for baby, maybe a starter pack of essentials, As with anything though they tend to get bigger and better every one you go to. Thank goodness I am past it for the moment (possible grandchildren in the future) as with 21sts, engagements and weddings - all I must have left is the funerals ;-(
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Plus, the shower is usually given about the 7th or 8th month of pregnancy. It's often given by the godmother or close friend. The dads are the ones who have to play silly games, so it's all in fun. People usually give fun, not very expensive gifts. They save the nicer gifts for the birth party. I agree with dimac4, starter packs are nice or a little gift for mom-to-be would be nice too. If you want to be practical, a nice "lai see" of $300-500 would be nice less if you're chipping in with co-workers.
Have fun.
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My budget - For a close friend - about $200
For a work colleague - from $100 - $150 or less depending on how well you know the person. (or like them);-)
I always calculate back to my home country currency - I would normally spend about $20 - $25 Aussie dollars on a gift - more for a good friends baby shower and baby.
Hope this helps a bit more.
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Foth, that sounds kind of harsh. I can't imagine anyone making thousands of dollars from baby showers, etc, unless the parents were going around borrowing other people's babies to con their friends. Having a baby is so expensive anywhere. I don't think anyone could make a profit from these parties. Should I not throw my daughter her 1st birthday party so other mothers won't think I'm trying to get freebies?
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Went to a "friend's" baby shower. She had made up a gift list of specific items from specific shops and sent it to prospective attendees. One item was an expensive crib - $8000 in HK money. Went to the kitchen where I heard her complaining that no one had bought it. Hubby thought it was too expensive and so she wanted it as a "gift". The expression "tight b!tches" left a nasty taste in the mouth - worse than her avocado dip. Somehow we lost touch after that...
HK$100 seems fair for yeyo in her situation.
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I see your points, and I agree. I don't like registries, or gift lists either. If the attendees want to give a gift, it's their choice. I would like to think it's something they chose that they thought my daughter would like.
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