Posted by
Wheelymate
19 yrs ago
ok, maybe i am abit paranoid about this - while i swell with pride at strangers gushing over how cute my little one is, i don't actually like them touching him. so imagine my horror when my grandma's neighbour (whom i met for the first time today) starting kissing my baby's hand, which he loves putting into his mouth these days.
is there any polite way/tactic/body language to tell strangers not to do things like that?? i just worry about him picking up germs!
crj
19 yrs ago
Don't travel to Bali! ha ha, we had the hotel manager, hotel staff, and others pick up, hold, cuddle and kiss our baby... we gave up.
I hated people touching my belly when I was pregnant - just remember it is YOUR BABY... and if you take him back from a stranger, you can do that and politely say no...
I wouldn't worry about germs though - he needs germs to build up his immune system, so a certain amount of germs and human contact is very good.
hahaha....today is the first time a stranger so blatantly kissed my baby so i guessed i was a little shocked. it's just something i wouldn't do to another baby because the parents might not appreciate it.
having said that, i know germs are not always a bad thing...just paranoid as my friends tell me it's not a good thing is the strangers have cold sores and kiss your baby!
nobody touched my belly as most people couldn't actually see i was pregnant...although i do remember at a party once when i was the "highlight"...perched up on a beanbag while the ladies interrogated me about the pregnancy...ahahaa...but i digress....yes, i should be able to tell them not to kiss my baby cos he's mine! :)
crj
19 yrs ago
I would NOT allow anyone with a cold sore or obvious cold/flu to touch/kiss the baby...
I was a bit shocked when the hotel manager picked up our baby off my lap and started kissing him too - but baby was smiling and enjoying the extra attention!
@@
19 yrs ago
When travelling I used to put an insect net over the stroller to stop people popping their hands in to touch the children. Having had a kid terribly ill on a holiday to Vietnam, I now prefer to build up their immune systems a little slower!
I onced "shooed" a woman away from my 3 month old in Thailand and was bollocked by an English woman passing by for being too protective! I asked her if she fancied looking after my baby while she vomitted for 5 days but she declined.......
Good LUck!
I encounter the same thing all the time.... I was fed up with it, so now I just say "Please don't touch his hand, he always puts it in his mouth". Strangers are usually very shocked by this, as they just want to shake my baby's hand lovingly.... but I rather say it, than to have my baby putting in his hand filled with possible virus or germs, and ending up with a cold or a stomach flu. I am now quite comfortable with saying it, I say it with a BIG SMILE always though. Haha!
Just carry wipes with you - the second the other person has gone you can scrub the baby's hands. Saves offending anyone.
I've tried that cara, it has not worked. My 4 year old still gets grabbed for photos etc. I ask her if she wants her photo taken, she sometimes says 'yes', so there is no problem. If she says no, people often go ahead anyway, saying 'it's just a photo'. Its the fact that they try to grab her (and my younger son) and turn them around etc. that drives us crazy! I would NEVER take a picture of a strangers's child, regardless of race. In fact, in Europe, people have been known to be arrested if they have collections of photos of children that they do not know.
Dora: I understand about the photo-taking, my bro-in-law and my dad-in-law have been pulled into questioning for taking photos of my bro-in-law's twins at the playground in the UK!
But I digress...I suppose if in a pram, i usually have a blanket over the pram so that stops people from touching. I'd say touching/stroking the head or something is not so bad, it's the kissing that really puts me off.......
Wheely,
Don't worry too much. We had our first in a remote tropical place with no western medical care for two hours in any direction and we had no idea how to care for a newborn "western style", so we just followed what the locals did. Before bub was two weeks old, every kid and woman in the village had kissed him, cuddled him, put toys in his cot, etc - yet he's always been as strong as an ox. When my mum back in the UK received the first pictures of all this, she was horrified and sent a huge pack of baby care books and shiny equipment; but we didn't use any of it - except the disposable nappies! - until number two arrived (in HK).
I'm not suggesting you should be as cavalier as we (unwittingly) were; but don't worry too much about the odd kiss or cuddle.
magsr
19 yrs ago
We were very relaxed about this when our first child was born. i soon changed my attitude when our 2nd son caught a virus at 1 month old and ended up extremely sick in hospital for a week. it was a very scary time and it made me realise how naive we had been first time round. Yes, I agree that babies need to be exposed to germs in order to build up their immune system, but I don't think that any baby benefits from catching a nasty virus at such a young age. I learned the hard way just how vulnerable small babies can be and didn't worry so much about offending people if it would protect his health. I just used to say, "Please don't touch, he is sick." Now that he is older (just over a year) I don't stop people,as long as he is happy with the attention.
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I have to admit that I'm not really bothered by it, so far as it is only the hands. I can just easily wipe it clean later. I always do it anyway as she keeps touching things. So far, nobody tried to kiss her face, but well I do carry her all the time so the person would have to touch me if he wanted to! I do like this baby-friendly culture, it's much better than being frown upon everytime you go out in western countries... especially in restaurants!
oooooh...the please don't touch he is sick excuse sounds like a good idea, might try that!! i guess just have to be gracious about it and wipe the bub's face/hand/whereever the minute you're out of sight from the stranger, haha!!
I always remember what the nurses in Canada told me when I had my newborn baby in my arms. They said, "Remember, you are the mother, and this baby is yours. If there is ever anything you're uncomfortable about what's happening to the baby, or someone doing something to the baby, speak up, b/c you are 101% entitled to. No one will blame you."
Therefore, the baby is my most precious asset, therefore if I don't feel comfortable with strangers kissing, or touching my baby, I say it. Why should I have to lie that MY child is sick for the benefit of others?
Furthermore, especially after the SARS period, those who are educated and have ANY knowledge of what is proper hygiene, and manners, will definitely understand if I tell them "please look, don't touch."
Just my opinion.
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