working mumd

i need some support from working mums please. my children are still young and i work full time. last night my youngest (aged 3) was up all night with fever and vomiting. my other two kids are also sick this morning.


i just want to moan a bit. i can't leave them at home with my helper. my daughter is feverish and needs to see the doctor. aside from that it's not right for me to leave them. i'm their mother. but i feel crappy about calling my boss to tell her i won't be in. i'm a teacher. so someone has to cover my classes. i just feel so torn. i know i have to be a mother first. i just feel so horrible.


how does everyone else cope with these feelings? how do you cope when your colleagues give you that 'look'.?


thanks guys

I'm a teacher and have two youngish kids who every now and again fall sick. Whenever they are sick i will not go to work, i call my principal and tell her i'm not coming in.


She did one day sit me down and say she too is a mother and that when her child is sick she just leaves it with the helper, i kindly and politley reminded her that as a mother my priority are MY children and not others and when MY children are sick they gett ALL my attention, not just when i've finished work. She has taken this onboard and now doesn't utter a word.


Like the previous reply says, it's from ignorance, people will think nothing of leaving their kids with others when they are poorly, but other like you and me, will not do that. Ignore your colleagues look and feel comfortable and confident in yourself that you are doing the right thing by you and your kids.

yes, sick is sick. my little one doesn't just have a little cold. she's vomiting and feverish. i can't bear to leave her like this with my helper. i suppose it's one of those tricky parts of life that we all have to deal with. i just feel bad for the people that are covering my classes. anyway - what can i do? just do my best- i read somewhere that life is not a competition- if we can come home and be loved and have done what we think is the 'right' thing that day, then we're doing well.


my priority is also my kids. but i love to work too. it's hard!

I practiced time sharing/rotated with my husband on who will stay home/hospital when my daughter gets her asthma attack. eg. He will take her to see the doc, while I go to work for a couple of hrs and then I'll be back to take over.

Something like 1/2 day rotation for hubby and I.

I had to solicit colleagues/staff help to attend my meetings, call me to update and will usually buy them a meal/chocs later.

Added:

Since I'm in this situation a couple of times a mth, I understand better and will support my direct reports when they need to take time off to look after sick kids. It does incur more cost( eg overtime for another person to get work done for that day) but then, employers should not just look at profits only. How the company gets the profits is thru the employees' contribution.

Hi there,

I am a teacher too and fully understand your situation. If you think kids are the first priority, you will need to be "relaxed" at work". Otherwise, you will have disease easily cos this is some kind of stress which will kill people. Of course, you have to be really "skilful" when you call the principal. Psycologically, I think you have to tell yourself what comes first. hope it is helpful to u

If you are staying home taking care of your kids that are "ill", there is absolutely NO REASON to have guilty feelings or care about what other will say. You have NOTHING to be guilty about, you are doing the most respectable job... being a responsible mother!

Hi I also teach two year olds and have a two and one year old at home. I only work half day though which is easier to manage.

But I have to say that it's even harder when you your husband and helper are also are throwing up along with your kids. am just recovering today from a week of averaging 3 hours sleep a night looking after different people. I am so tired I don't even think I can go to sleep!

So yeah work was not an option for me today.

I actually take all the sick leave my school provides because I get one day a month and I use it to spend quality rest time or just downtime with my kids if I'm not actually sick. But you'd be surprised how often I get sick working with kids.

I don't feel guilty because my class has two chinese teachers who are great witht eh kids and they aren't really missing out on learning a whole lot at their age, they usually just have a full on play day if I'm not there which is great.

Depends on your school, but you should permanently take yourself out of the mindset that your worth is tied into how much you sacrifice for your job and instead look at your babies as being the reason you work in the first place so they can have a good life and do what is best for them.


remember your own childhood? Was it a nanny caring for you when you were throwing up? Or your mummy?

You know it makes me sooo angry when it's other mums who judge and try to manipulate us into feeling guilty for wanting to be with our kids!!!

I feel maybe they are trying to force everyone to live at the same standard as they do. Work first everyone else including hubby and kids second......NO WAY NOT ME!

(Although I love my job)