15mth Old Won't Eat By Himself

My LO is 15 mths old and refuses to pick up any food by himself to eat. He would prefer to strech his head and pick up the food just like a dog (we have no pets at home). We try to practise everyday by giving him different foods including his favourite snacks. He gets angry and prefers not to eat if we don't feed him. What to do? He has only done it a few times and I know he hasn't really mastered this co-ordination as he basically sticks his fingers in his mouth too. I am getting a bit worried because one he is very stubborn and also I think all children around this age can do it already.

This really sounds like normal childhood experimenting to me. Here's my vote: Don't intervene or try to feed him. Give him lots of small finger foods and freedom to experiment with them. For instance, dice his fruit, veggies, and meat into small bits that he can pick up with his fingers, plus give him small things like raisins, as well as things like cheerios. For "cereal time," give him a bowl and baby-shaped spoon, put newspapers all around on the floor, and let him have at it. Make meal time a fun, pleasant time of experimentation, with no expectations or demands by parents. When he's done, cheerfully feed him by spoon if he hasn't managed to get any in his mouth. (Keep everything pleasant at meals, and don't let food become an object of power struggle.) But I'll bet you that he quickly figures out that picking food up with hands is easier than licking it up like a dog! Another possibility is that he simply doesn't like to get his hands dirty. I can relate, I don't like to have my hands dirty, either! In that case, really emphasize the dry finger food, bits of fruit and veggies, and give him a spoon specially designed for babies that's easy to use. Also, wipe him up frequently, give him his own wet hand towel, and help him keep himself clean if he doesn't object.

It took a long time for my son to start feeding himself. Even now at 2 1/2 years of age, he sometimes wants me to feed him although he's quite capable of doing it himself but I think that's because he wants some attention when he sees me feeding my 7 month old. As he grows, he would want to be more independent and he'd then want to feed himself.

Our baby would not eat finger food (or any food with his fingers) until 13 months... then he refused to eat anything from a spoon for about a month... now he is happy either feeding himself with his fingers, trying with the spoon and sometimes letting us feed him with the spoon.


It sounds like a phase to me, that he will quickly pass and sometimes revisit.


Ours is just about to turn 15, and depending on the day he either wants to be fed or wants to feed himself... sometimes one hand, sometimes two, sometimes messy, sometimes with the spoon...


We always have two spoons - one for him and one for us.


If he throws food on the ground or drops it there, we don't pick it up, we completely ignore it and he now realises this is not a game and there is no point in doing that.


If he starts playing with his food and picks up his plate to throw it... we know the meal is over, take the plate, clean his hands and face and say bye bye to the high chair.


When he eats from the spoon (either from him or me) I say 'Yeah, you ate from the spoon' and clap - he loves this positive reinforcement and will then put the spoon to his mouth and look at me with a smile knowing he did something good.


Another thing we do, is if we are eating, we feed him some food from our fork (if it is baby safe food), and he LOVES eating from our fork, even if it is food he never had before. So he learns a lot from watching us.


We keep mealtimes fun and happy, and a friend gave me great advice - for a toddler, don't look at what they eat in a meal or in a day, but in a WHOLE WEEK... and she is right, some days he eats more or less, but at the end of the week we can say he ate well for the week.



PS "he sticks his fingers in his mouth" yup sounds normal to me! Our baby sometimes puts the food in, other times shovels it in with both hands, and follows by trying to shove his hand in... he'll learn, they all will eventually!! But in the meantime enjoy watching your baby learn what works and what doesn't work!

i really wouldn't worry about LO not eating by himself just yet. It will happen in time (how many 3-4yr olds have you seen ever being spoon fed?) and if you get too stressed about it now then your LO won't enjoy mealtimes and get stressed too.

My Lo is 16mths old and he is a pain to feed - so much so that I hate doing it. A favourite trick of his is to take the food into his mouth and then spit it all out again all over his clothes, and the number of times it takes to even get him to take a bite while he's swinging his head from side to side with his mouth firmly clamped shut! There are days when he wants to try to feed himself, and others when he just can't be bothered.

We have now decided that there is no point turning feeding into a battleground and he should just eat however much he wants. He won't starve himself and I don't get too stressed out. They also like to do what we do, so we try to make a point like crj does in that when he sees us eating something, we always give him some too. It's amazing how much they want to eat our food!

Squiggles


Even when our baby is NOT hungry (ie, he just ate) if he sees me eating something he comes up and opens his mouth... we are a bit afraid he is learning to 'beg'... but it is a great way to have him try things.


I just have to be careful about NOT eating 'forbidden' foods around him - like nuts (family allergy history) or junk food... so those come out AFTER bedtime :)


As a result, we have discovered he will eat tortellini with our homemade sauce (no salt, etc..), quiche, and other things... so I am sure we cook them at least once a week so I can put some aside for his meal the next day or two.

crj,


agreed - sharing your food is a great way for them to learn. i have also discovered that when we take him out to restaurants etc, he behaves far better than he would at home funnily enough, and he also quite happily tries new foods (obviously we have to be careful what we feed him from the menu).


it's funny, people say that you're never going to get a perfect baby in that he will do everything by text book...some sleep well, some eat well...i am unlucky in that i've had so many feeding problems with mine, but where he makes it up is in his sleep (now 12hrs a night, so i really can't complain! i wouldn't anyway..

ok, i think my LO is just lazy as this morning i wouldn't give in for breakfast so he basically ate nothing. he got into a big stink so when my helper offered to feed him, he wouldn't even take a bite too. at playgroup snack time he ate three little biscuits by himself so i guess he does not have any developmental problems, thank goodness! i can't believe he is so stubborn and i guess i shouldn't worry so much. thank you all for your advice. it is just so hard being a mother.

s1, I think I didn't clue in that LO really wants you to feed him. I thought the main problem was eating like a dog! Mothering is indeed a hard job and in the end you just have to do what feels most right to you. But don't be too harsh on a little one -- it really is true that they are only little once and in the great span of a lifetime babyhood is so short. Make meal times quality time and loving times, there'll be plenty of times later when he'll have to be on his own.