Getting baby on to a routine

Hi there,

My baby is 3 months old and her daytime sleep is all over the place. Except for a nap in the morning after she initially wakes up, she sometimes sleeps for 2 hours sometime during the day or only catnaps 20 minutes throughout the day. We tend to put her in her cot when she rubs her eyes, yawns or starts acting unsettled... Her bedtime ends up anywhere between 6pm and 8pm depending on her naps/ feeds during the day. For those of you just beginning a routine (Dani R. for example), did you just start putting your baby in its cot at a certain time each day, coaxing him/ her to go to sleep? Did it take long to get the baby on a pretty consistent nap schedule? I've read the baby whisperer and Gina Ford's methodology, but they don't actually explain how to get the baby to take a 2 hour nap at 12pm for example...Any basic pointers welcome... Thanks!

Read this thread, it discusses getting a baby on a schedule the first few months.


Nighttime sleep comes first, really regular daytime naps are a lot later, 6 months for many.


http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/momsdads/threads/87886.asp

I'm a big lover of Gina - and I just tried to make it work.


for naps, I tried to keep baby awake as much as possible, and then I would lay them down in the room. When it was time to wake up, I'd open the curtains and unswaddle - and if they didn't wake them up, I'd bring them into the living room with all the activity and noise. Sometimes she would sleep anyways, but I didn't worry too much about it. And then - eventually she would wake up, and then I would take her back to the room to rest for the next nap.


That long 2 hour nap is hard - initially babies can't do it - they are more attuned to do a 45 - 1 hour nap and that was really frustrating. But a few keys were making sure the conditions in the room hadn't changed (she didn't fall asleep attached to me) and if she did wake up, I would do my darndest to get her to fall asleep again. I would rock, tap, wiggle, jiggle, whatever, but all in a very calm, quiet, darkened room. IF I failed after that, I would bring her out, and then hope that the next nap would go.


At 3 months, things are JUST coming under control. it's around this time that babies can start taking the longer naps...

Hi thanks for the advice so far. It's interesting to read about how you went about it. I haven't had a chance to ask many others Moms about routines and all my family is overseas, so difficult to ask nitty gritty questions like this. I guess the key right now is time- things seem like they will fall into a bit more of a pattern later on. I keep resading that babies thrive on consistency and we don't have much of that right now, except EASY from the Baby Whisperer and trying to give her a bath/ feed before bed (but this doesn't always work out...). I'll keep fumbling along and hopefully baby will be patient with me!

Hi KW,


The same goes for me what hkchoichoi said. Only now is he really going down for that 2 hr. nap. It's funny, because he actually started to fall into a routine without me initiating it, and then I loosely worked w/the Gina Ford scheduling. Both of us like the routine, it makes our lives alot easier to deal with!


Sometimes he won't stay awake too long after the morning feed, so I'll alter the time slightly. He usually is in the happiest mood after that morning nap and stays awake quite a bit longer after that. His awake/nap times are usually within an hour or so of GF's schedule. I don't stress if it's not 'clockwork,' as I can read his cues more easily now and know what he wants/needs.


The daytime nap is hard. I draw the curtains, play some soft lullabies, and also rock him until he's drowsy (if he's reluctant) and then lay him down in the cot. He'll fuss for a bit. If he goes on for a little while, I sit next to his cot and shush/pat him for a while, then he'll 'zone out' and look at his mobile (a F.Price aquarium, very soothing, makes me sleepy!). I'll sit there until he's well asleep. Usually he'll do this with no problem. If he doesn't, like hkcc said, you try whatever you can, and if that doesn't work, stick to the schedule and proceed with the next nap/feed time slot.


He's only really taking to the daytime nap now that he is in his own cot/room. He wouldn't do it when he was in our room in the bassinet. We took him in the daytime to play in his nursery, so he was familiar with the space.


Consistency is key. We're actually working on the night-time sleep as well. He was doing great, but then woke up at 4:30am this morning and wouldn't soothe. I nursed him, and he was starving! Oh well. Maybe it's a growth spurt.


I agree, 3 months is much more stable. Colic usually ends and they can sleep more soundly. Good luck with everything! Remember, you're both learning together.

I agree with above GF is the best thing I ever did too, shame it took until my third to figure that out! Routine Routine routine is all I can say start with feeds and bath time etc then it really should all fall into place! Good luck!

consistency really is the key.

i read gina before baby arrived but was so overwhelmed that i forgot about it.

but for some reason, i was determined that baby would have a 7pm bedtime. i did whatever i could to achieve that, even if it meant that i would sometimes be holed up in the dark room for up to 1.5-2 hours, leave the room thinking i've made it, only to hear another wail via the baby monitor. :) and as we passed the newborn stage (when i was too tired to even read a magazine), i picked up gina again and tried to follow the entire routine.


and what STB said is right - determination is a MUST too. so many times we are so tired from the night feeds and what not that if baby does sleep in the early morning, we just let them sleep on because we are so desperate to have some sleep ourselves. and ok, we are human so sometimes we do let that happen and that's ok. but if you can, do try to start the day at the right time if not the whole day just goes haywire. even though we are having some issues with my almost 13 mnth sleeping until 7am these days (he keeps waking after 6am), i am still very strict...he can chatter to himself in the cot, i will only go in at 7am for him.


good luck, you'll get there eventually, as long as you try and try and try again. and do keep poor sleep associations to a minimum. e.g. if you find your child can only sleep well in a bouncy chair, you might think let it be...but see a few months down the road when he is too big for the bouncy chair, you think he will want to sleep in the cot then?

HTH!!

Talking about establishing a routine on baby, I've been following Gina Ford too and it works magic. At a very young age he started to sleep through from 11-7am without fuss. I agree with the above that the day time naps are very difficult to manage at first. It's just all over the place, but I tried to ensure he doesn't sleep more than a few hours during day time so he sleeps better at night. He does manage to sleep longer spell now, incl. the afternoon nap which he used to wake up every 20-45 min screaming.


Side issue: to follow a routine, we have monitor his sleep hours and can't avoid waking him up. My Mom is always opposed to this. She said I should let him wake up naturally and let him sleep according to his will. She said sooner or later he will learn to sleep longer spell at night and it's simply CRUEL to force him on a time table at this young age. All along she's been blaming me saying that my son could have gained more weight if I let him sleep more during day time. She didn't let my helper wake him up whenever she's around. And today, she once again seriously told me that she thinks my son looks drowsy and dull BECAUSE I have been forcing him too much (which is not true). And she even cried and said she's heart-broken just to think about that. It's driving me nuts.


He sleeps 13-14 hours a day. He does meet the requirement for his age. What have I done wrong? How can I get her to understand what I'm doing is to develop a better sleeping habit in a long run???

nicher, i hear you!!

some feel that you should never wake a sleeping baby, some feel that you can in order to have a routine.

i believe in routines but my mum didn't. when she helped to babysit so that i could go out for an errand, i come home to find my baby still asleep even though i have asked her to wake him up by a certain time.


i have to admit, when your baby is sleeping super soundly, it is really tempting to let him carry on so that you can have an afternoon of peace and quiet. but this means your night-time might not be so peaceful and quiet.


is your mum staying with you in HK or visiting or whatever? give her some time, believe me, she will start to appreciate that your baby sleeps so well at night. my mum has retired to help look after my new nephew and having seen and accepted how well my baby is on a routine, she wants to do the same for her new grandson.


also, i feel that when my son falls sick, he recovers quicker because he sleeps well at night instead of waking up many time to fuss or look for milk. you might want to point that out to your mum.


good luck, it's tough convincing ours mums (who really mean well but just have a different view) but you are the mum, not her so you do what you feel is right and don't apologise.

Thanks WM. It's lucky that Mom works and she is around only couple times a week. Even so, she keeps bugging me my way to raise him. She has all the opposing views from her past experience and from her own circle of friends. For example, he'd say I used to gain 3lbs a month. Now my son gains an average of 1-1.5 lbs a month, she'd say I haven't given him enough to eat/ sleep so he's not gaining enough. She just ignores the fact that I was formula-fed and my son is breastfed. She wouldn't appreciate that my baby sleeps through the night soundly at an early age, because I used to sleep A LOT and very soundly even though she didn't put me on a routine. Also, she'd think it's just sheer luck of me having a good tempered baby who is contented, not fussy, sleep well... nothing to do with what I have trained him.


Well, as you said, it takes time. Afterall she's a loving and caring mom and grandma. I just wish her to put aside all those worries and just relax and play with her grandson.

sounds like you are doing the right thing though in terms of your child so you don't have to feel bad about it.


if she works and visits a couple of times a week, i would suggest you arrange her visits such that your child is not napping/feeding - that she visits during your baby's active time so that your mum doesn't have to witness any of the above activities and can just concentrate on playing with her grandson. that is what i did with my mum - she would usually see him after he's had his big lunchtime nap and she would play with him until it was time for his dinner. that way, there was nothing to interfere.