Age gap btwn 2nd and 3rd child

Looking around, it seems that most people have a close age gap btwn baby 1 and 2 and then a longer gap btwn baby 2 and 3(if they have 3). Does anyone have experience/opinion on having a closer gap btwn baby 2 and 3 - good/bad comments?

hahha...

your post made me laugh - I'm now pregnant with my third.


1st and 2nd - 19 months

2nd and 34d - 20 months


I will have THREE children under the age of FOUR. Whether this is a wise decision - I'm not sure. I think a lot of people wait between 2 and 3 because 2 is already so hard, that waiting for three seems easier. (my brother and I are 2.5 years apart, and my younger brother and I are 8 years apart) It's just hectic with two.


I have several reasons why I didn't wait -


1. I'm already almost 36 years old. (will be when baby is born.) FEeling the crunch of age.


2. I LOVE the age gap between my two girls already - they are cute and so playful with each other, and they can do similar things in some respects.


3. My husband has some crazy thought about having more and so I'm under a bit of pressure.

Saikunga -


I wish I had gotten them done faster while I was younger. I got to say - it's a lot more draining now than it was before...or perhaps just being pregnant with 2 is much harder than being pregnant with just 1. Who knows?

Interesting thread! Hkchoichoi, congratulations! I have a related question, any mums out there who had very closely spaced pregnancies? Pros/cons?

I have two little boys, nineteen months apart, who are now 28 and 9 months old. Although I would have liked to have a girl, I am not inclined or rather do not have the energy for another pregnancy and the sleepless nights that follow. If I had had age on my side (I was already 32 when I conceived my first), I would have waited for a good 3 years before trying for a second baby. As jwm says, hats off to those young moms who have closely spaced planned pregnancies!

Excellent thread ! Am actually asking myself this question...

We already have 2 babies, less than 15 months apart (planned).

To reply to Dani R, 2nd pregnancy was a bit more exhausting than 1st one, not because it was more difficult but just because I had less time to lie down after work and relax. As soon as I was home, I was on the floor, playing with my daughter, carrying her etc... Delivery was better the 2nd time around (VBAC), and recovery much quicker, BF so much easier... However it took me a year to recover my pre-preg figure, whereas it took me only 6 months after the 1st one (and then I got pregnant again so did not really have enough time to enjoy it !).


Now I'd really like to start trying for a 3rd one, I'd like a 24 months gap. But after spending 4 months at home, my husband is not so enthusiastic anymore to have a 3rd one too soon...


I'm a bit worried that if the age gap is too long between 2nd and 3rd (like 3 yrs for instance) the 3rd one will feel a bit apart from the 1st 'pair'.

My other idea if the age gap is bigger is to go for another 'pair', no.3 & 4 close in age, but then my husband is like '4 !!!! Are you crazy !!!!' My secret crazy dream... to have twins next time ! But chances are like... none...


I also would like to 'complete' our family at a young age, in my early 30s (am just 29 now), since kids require so much energy. And also I like the idea of all the kids sharing interests, so that we can move on to more 'adults' activities in a couple of years, like traveling again, being teenages together as Saikunga described. I'd rather be done in a few years with the nappy, feeding, nap time, sleepless night etc routine than to start all over again every 3 or 4 years.


On the other hand, I've heard some people saying they are very happy to have a new born to take care of when they are at the same time 'struggling' with their teenager.


For jwng, my daughter is 27 months and my son is 12 months and it is already easier with the 2nd one ! My daughter keeps her brother entertain, I don't have to be the entertainer anymore, he's learning a lot from her !

It is also really exhausting, they are both seeking a lot of attention from me, although they sleep through the night, we never had an undisturbed night over the last 2 years.

I can totally relate to you, I don't think we would have been so keen on getting a 2nd one so quickly if we hadn't been so lucky that my daughter was sleeping through the night at 5-6 months. My son was the same luckily !

However as I mentioned even though they are both sleeping through the night, there is not one single night for us without waking up for bad dream, thirsty, lost pacifier or just some crying ! Plus they both wake up quite earlier (7 am is like a miracle for them !).


Another one of my secret dream: adopting a kid to avoid being pregnant with 2 toddlers to look after !


I'm not bothered by the toilet training thing, my 'limit' for 3rd one arriving was my son being able to speak... But since he doesn't seem to be to interested in that, I might not be patient enough to wait that long !

My 1st and 2nd are 15 months apart. My 2nd is as tall as my 1st and they look and in many ways act like twins. They are so close i never thought they would be so close. 1st one was a lil jealous for the first months then somehow when her lil sister was able to do things she did they just connected and kept loving one another. Their bond is so strong at times i cant even discipline the youngest cuz the oldest tries to defend her and tell me she didnt mean to and she will say sorry haha. Now my 2nd and 3rd will be 2 years apart. Now after having my 2nd i think within 2 weeks my MIL who is chinese was all on about this golden pig in 2007 and how i should plan to have a son then because i had a duty to the whole family to produce that male heir. I sorta laughed about it and told hubby no way!!! But as my 2nd baby got older and didnt always cuddle so much i started wanting another baby and baby and i remembered how i did want a son so very bad since i have 2 girls so we went for it and tried. We got it on the first try haha so i think it was meant to be.


Sometimes i think about how hard it will be with 3 lil ones under 4. It makes me a bit stressed to think i will have to care and provide for 3 lil ones. But i am soo very blessed by the fact my oldest is incredibly independant. The only thing that concerns me so much is how my 2nd doesnt understand a baby is coming. She knows i always say baby and touch my tummy and she comes and tickles my tummy but she doesnt comprehend that in a short 2 months that *belly* will become a *baby* unlike my oldest who tells me she will change the babys diaper and hold him and give him kisses.


I think it pays off about the time they are 3yrs old and 2 years old depending on age gap. Thats when i think they began to open up to one another. Now i cant seperate my two they are such lil lovelies!!!



Good luck everyone with multiple children and those who are pregnant with their 2nd/3rd!!!!



HKchoi how far along are you love?

Verellene -


not far along at all. Haven't even done the first ultrasound to verify - just found out - about 5.5 weeks along....35 more to go, if all is well, God willing.


My girls are like yours - so lovely - and I had a bit of pressure about "another golden pig" as well. (by the way, in Seoul, they did a whole report how it's just a ploy to build up the economy but it's going to cause a whole mess of social issues with schooling and whatnot...) at any rate, sister in law and mother in law suddenly got all worked up that I should try and have a pig and produce a male as well. I told my grandmother that I'm craving sour things (I am tempted to drink a cup of vinegar for some reason - and had a ton of pickles as well as this vinegar based chicken for dinner) and SHE says it's a boy. HAHAHHA. Who knows?

with my girls i craved sour and sweet things. This pregnancy i wanted salty things. No clue if that has anything to do with gender. However, I am very aggressive this pregnancy. i get angry really easy and stuff and i never did that with either of my pregnancies.


My MIL pulled out some ancient chinese books that was passed down her family to see which year waas good for a son.... and then told me about this pig year with extra numbers and stuff... LOL so then it was decided 2 weeks after baby # 2 after of course finding out she wasnt a boy LOL. Not sure if the gov had anything to do with it. China has too many ppl anyhow....

aggressiveness? hmmm....very intersting. How are you contractions now anyways?