shall I do it again?

I am divorced with a 6-yr-old daughter. My life is wonderful at the moment --- good job, financial security, lovely and easy-going child and a caring bf.


My boyfriend has never been married. He is 46 and he loves kids. He treats my daughter like his own.


Recently he has been discussing with me that he'd like to have a child with me -- not right now. After we are settled together.


I love him dearly so want him to be happy. But worried if things don't go right after the baby is born, I'll be stuck and will lose my current balanced life.


Advice pls.

Everybody is different so telling you this story does not mean the same thing will happen to you BUT my friend was in exactly the same spot as you 8 yrs ago.She had a six year old and a good life.She met this man and got prg...she was very unsure what to do.They married shortly after the baby was born and played happy families for the next two years THEN he ran off with another girl.She now has 2 children to support through school and not much income coming in.He has dissapeared into thin air, so no child support from him(even though he addopted the older child too).Just had to tell you that story as it is where my friend was years ago...she doesnt regret having her 2nd child but she does regret how things turned out

Don't have a child just because you want to please someone.


Ask yourself

1. Will I regret if things don't turn out right?

2. I know there are only two sure things in life - death and tax, but is my gut feeling telling me that I need more time to be reasonably sure and convinced that we (I, my current child, my guy and newborn baby) as a family are compatible and my future with this man will be happy, balanced and fullfilling?

3. Will I be emotionally and financially bankcrupt if things go wrong with my guy after baby is born?


If answer is yes to all three questions - You Should Not have a baby with this man!


If answer is No to all three questions - Yes, you should!


If answer is some yes some no to the above three questions - "should I" or "should I not" depends on your risk tolerance level. Decide for yourself.