Posted by
mb
19 yrs ago
A question for 'stay at home' mums with 1 child: How many hours a day / week is your child in the care of your domestic helper between 6am and 8pm (ie excludes night-time babysitting)?
Eg: For me, DH looks after bub:
Mon/Weds/Thurs - 1 hour
Tues-2 hours
Fri - 5 hours
Sat- 1 hours
Please support our advertisers:
I'm not sure why you are asking this question - in my case generally not at all. Once little ones in bed at 7.30 we will go out perhaps three times a week then they are in DH care.
Please support our advertisers:
@@
19 yrs ago
When my first was little I guess he might have been in the care of the helper for 1 hour a day while I ducked out for a run or to do some shopping. She would probably also keep an eye on him while I got dinner.
Now the children are at school our helper would spend very little time with them on a day to day basis.
Of course there were (and are) times when I go to the hairdresser or the odd lunch with pals but that wouldn't be weekly.
Please support our advertisers:
The times really vary for me. 3 days a week I am at the gym for 1 and half hrs, so helper takes daughter to playroom at club house. 2 days a week helper takes her to playgroup for 1 hr 15 min.
Then whenever I have hair, nail, etc appointments.
Please support our advertisers:
I work from home -
my elder daughter is at school - so generally not in the care of my helper, except when she comes home and I'm working - so then it's about 2 hours daily.
My younger daughter - she is with my helper a lot more - closer to 4-5 hours a day - as I work from home and need to be professional.
Does this make me less of a mother because my child is with a helper a lot more than others?
Please support our advertisers:
I work from home too.
Generally, my baby is not in helper's care during day and night. We almost never dine out, so will be at home when the little one wakes up.
During the day, if I have to run out for meetings, my husband will take charge.
We take him with us whenever we can.
Please support our advertisers:
@@
19 yrs ago
hkchoichoi - I don't know why the original poster wanted to ask this question but it certainly wasn't directed to you as a mother who works from home.
Even if it did, the number of hours spent with a helper shouldn't be relevant to the quality of parenting.
Sometimes I think quality over quantity might be more important - especially those days when I feel overwhelmed by the children (thankfullly not often!)
Please support our advertisers:
there was a study done in the US about 3 or 4 years ago - a comparisons of moms who put their kids in daycare all day vs. moms who stayed home all day.
this study's outcome was that mothers who worked all day were MORE concerned about the time with their children and made it much more quality time and more enriching and fulfilling than the stay at home moms did. Quality was more important than quantity according to this study.
I was home, all day with both of my kids, with no helper for a week - and i was NOT a good mother. I was with them all the time, but distracted, constantly stressed and worrying about ALL the stuff that was not getting done. I became a lot more balanced after my helper came, I took time out to do things for myself and felt myself become less stressed.
my kids love my helper and enjoy their time with her. I don't mind the time that they spend with her - it allows me to refresh my own mind and spirit and come back to my children rejuvenated and more alive.
I think if we have the luxury to have helpers - which a lot of countries don't, then it should make us better mothers and WOMEN. So - the occasional lunch out, a haircut, a manicure, a dinner out with husband - these are not evil things and in fact wonderful benefits to having a helper. I won't feel guilty for taking time out to refresh my spirit and my sanity - in the long run I'm a more balanced mother.
Please support our advertisers:
i don't have a live-in maid but we recently started on a part-time babysitter who will come in a every morning for 4 hours until my toddler starts playschool in september.
the decision to do this was for work (i've got to help my husband with his business) and also for health reason (early pregnancy with spotting and crippling morning sickness).
and in a matter of one week, while she does some things i don't necessarily agree with (a learning process after all and some give and take), i realise it's been great to have an extra pair of hands around. my toddler is not chained in front of the TV because i'm too sick to do anything else. this babysitter takes him out every morning to the playground and strolls. i'm still a part of the morning in terms of lunch preparation and i sit with him during lunch. and one of the most significant difference is that i don't feel as frustrated with my toddler as before. it's still hard to let go and delegate but at the same time, i feel like oh, i don't spend as much time with anymore that when i do, i am more patient because he is not clinging to me 24/7 from 7-7 everyday....which i am guilty to confess, sometimes it just wants me to run away!
Please support our advertisers:
mrsl
19 yrs ago
My eldest is at school, so seldom looked after by our helper while she is awake. If my youngest is still in bed when it's time for the school run, then he is left at home with our DH. That might happen once or twice a week, and probably takes the best part of an hour round-trip. She does take care of them when my husband and I are out at night (max. once a week), and did so recently when I was ill too.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail