Posted by
missmuffet
19 yrs ago
When I was pregnant with my second child, emotionally I went thru a lot of depression, had lot of arguments with my husband, lots of bouts of shouting, irritability, anxiety, I was always on the edge, anything could trigger irritation in me.My son now is 3 and 1/2 yrs, goes to kindi, he talks a lot at home,not with outsiders, very difficult to get him to do anything, throws toys,won't listen,cries shouts, doesn't have much of an attention span. At times i doubt he might have ADHD,is ADHD genetic, can it also be caused because of the mothers behaviour when she was pregnant?
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qvong
19 yrs ago
I don't believe it's been scientifically proven that behavior during pregnancy is in conjunction of how your child is now. Children mainly learn their behaviour in their environment and surroundings but they also learn their behavior through testing and how you as a parent respond to their behaviour. Children learn fast, if you present a consequence to their action from the get go then chances are they will think twice before performing the same action but if you keep giving empyt threats without a reprocution then they will catch on to that and keep working you over. All the behaviour you have posted can be controlled from a parent stand point. Do not feel guilty for your sons behaviour however I hope you apologized to your husband. And as mentioned above, he sounds like a perfectly normal 3 year old. Good Luck!!
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I cried throughout my first pregnancy 17 year ago and I now have a normal teenager (if you can call any teenager normal). I am not a doctor but from my experience and having talked to other women, it sounds like your hormones gave you the problems during pregnancy and whatever problems your son has now, they were not caused by your irritability during pregnancy.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in 3rd grade. We then went to see Dr. Trodd (he is with OT&P) who tested his hair, stool, and blood. He had a host of food sensitivities. Once we got those under control he was alot happier.
Having said that, I agree with the Quong and Daddy Long Legs, your son sounds pretty normal. The best book I ever read on parenting was "Kid's Are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso. I really suggest reading that. I still refer to it every once in awhile.
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Thanks everyone for the input, feel a lot more better. Would definitely want to get hold of that book.
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Also the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk and Raising Your Spirited Child A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic: are really helpful!
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Miss M...glad to hear you are feeling better. I had a VERY hormonal pregnancy and cried alot. I used to feel sooooo guilty about this poor babe hearing all my tears. She is a happy just turned four year old. Very happy. You know, the nature of the child is simply that. You can try to "firm" things up by more discipline, but as already mentioned by one of the xpaters, sounds pretty normal. Worth metioning too that one of my friends who was pregnant at the same time, and was terribly happy during hers, has a painfully shy child. DONT WORRY!!!! My mum tells me motherhood is all about guilt in some way, shape or form - did they have enough dinner, I am teaching them enough and the like,,,, Try and find something else to feel guilty about ;) Where's that chocolate bar???? Now there's a good start! All the best.
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Thanks Georgie, I had read in a lot of books that what the mother feels emotionally affects the baby in the womb a lot, anyway since its not proven, males things better, Like everyone says that the environment now is very important for the childs growth.
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well Miss Muffett, I felt like I'd written this myself! When pregnant with one child (no.3 of 5) we were going through quite a bit of upheaval, moving countries, relationship agro and I became severely depressed and irrational. I tried to control it as much as I could in front of the other kids, but screamed the house down after hours. Once the fog lifted and this baby was born, she had colic for over a year. It was like being a first-timer all over again and nothing calmed her. To cut a long story short, she's now a teenager, calm, loving and all (seems!!) well with the world again! We're all human. Do I think my depression caused this? No, not now, just bad luck. Kids are resillient and at their best at trying your patience at 3 1/2! Give him time and please don't beat yourself up over it..........
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LAPM
19 yrs ago
Hi Missmuffety, I have a 3 and a half year old sone as well and he can be extremely challenging at times. I sometimes think it is down to me feeling very down when he was born and not showing him enough love (Even though I loved him dearly). But whenever I say about him people say he sounds like a typical little boy - sometimes you just need reassurance that your son is "normal" and you haven't "broken" him!
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Hi LAPM,
My son is much better now as he's nearing 4yrs. He can reason out things with me, he listens. but the tantrums are less. I guess after all they do come out of it. I do praise him a lot for even achieving little things, it has worked.
Don't worry.
Cheers.
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