Posted by
hkfrenchie
19 yrs ago
mx, sorry to reply so bluntly, but the first issue is within you. If you want to have a chance to save your mariage, stop sleeping with your son! Past the first weeks, maybe months, the place of the wife is with her hubbie, and the place of the baby is in the nursery/separate room.
Surely after 3 years your son will be upset of the change of sleeping pattern, but it is better for him too. Talk to your doctor and put together the best strategy to implement to cut the cord at least during the nights.
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Hello mx, sorry to hear abt ur situation. I think it will help if you try to talk to him and tell him everything. how you feel. And you really should not sleep with your son anymore, just tuck him in and give him a good night kiss. Then off you go to your hubby. And try to build your sleeping pattern again with him. But try to be understanding also bec. its been some time now that you haven't slept in the same bed. So definitely, will have some issues also... but be strong and eventually it will all be good. Good luck!
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Hi mx, I am with HK1 too, children are to be tucked in bed, given a night story or a bedtime prayer, and let to fall asleep alone, you have to work on this with your son.
Regarding your husband, I can well understand him, I have been divorced for many years and slept alone more often than with someone, each time I have to share my bed, it is basically impossible to fall asleep as the other do annoy me :-( Hoewever there are solutions that can be easily applied, change your queen size or king size bed to 2 single beds, 2 mattresses, but only 1 cover, this way your husband should not be annoyed, and it should eventually help you to both reconnect physically.
Frilly night wear might be helpful too...
Good luck!
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alk
19 yrs ago
is he seeing another woman?
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Hi mx, sorry to hear about ur situation. I think YOU need to make a change here, don't expect instant results, if ur hubby has got used to sleeping alone-don't pay attentin to it, u sleep on ur side of the bed and tell him that thats ur bed too and u need to sleep. Do that everyday without a break without any arguments, don't react to what he says, eventually he will come around. Yes sounds funny but don't talk too much about child's activities while u r with him, once u feel he's coming around ,give him all ur attention. YOU need to be strong and FIRM, get ur child to sleep alone. I have 2 kids, my 2nd one is 31/2, I don't let him nap in the day, get him busy with activities, by the time dad come's back from work, he just about says goodnight and is fast asleep, he's so tired he couldn't careless where he's sleeping. I definetely make it a point to spend time alone with my hubby most of the evenings just watching tv, reading a book not necessarily talking, but just being together .
good luck.
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I'm all for Missmuffet things always work out in the end! Just takes a hell load of time. Dun stop loving what you've vowed to love for the rest of your life! Good Luck!
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MX, your problem is not uncommon for women after having children. Life often start to evolve around the child and the husband often feeling becoming secondary. Now is not the time to blame anyone or who fault it is but to restate teh passion in life.
If you have tried many ways, perhaps you should think of:does he have sexual desire? Is he have other sexual problem?
Sometimes may be finding professional help is needed, ie sex therapist.
If both of you still love each other, there is still hope. Good Luck.
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my God! we have they same experience mx i was really touch while reading your situation. its not your fault, you're just doing your part as a mother, husband should understand that, as a mother its not easy to be a mom, we also need the attention of our husband. Now the problem is your husband go out at night and meet some one in wanchai, its the most bad place here in hongkong. and thats what my husband do too. and makes him very different. he doesnt give us time. instead telling people how bad i Im, that i dont give him time or etc. Be strong and pray to God all the time. even me im pregnant right now, i try my best to be strong in this situation. we cannot control our husband. they do what they want to do. we just think possitive. as long we have food in the house and our kids are healthy that enough for us. make sure we always look good and sexy too... thats what i did. i always put make up and wear sexy clothes.hehehhehe. you are not alone!!! take care always and God bless you and your family. time is running. ups and down.
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you should attend counselling, it will help you alot my dear believe me!
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hi i would like to help you as i can,pls contact me sap my e mail pium_pretty@yahoo.com hope to talk to you persanaly,thanks
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Tyrex
19 yrs ago
In response to famous' posting. Not sure if your response is helpful to the OP but you defenitely sounds like one who just need to be fed by man kind of woman. So pathetic! And that explain why your man is doing what he is doing now because women like you outhere.
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