Going to bed early- How important for 11month old?

Hi,


I am (still) in a Greek island with our 11montho old. My baby normally goes to bed around 7:30pm but since a day is long here and it is very hot during the day, I let her sleep longer during the day and go to bed a bit later, say, between 8pm and 9pm. People here let kids run around until midnight and think I am CRAZY that I don't come out with our baby for dinner (normally starts 9pm-ish at the earliest but Greek people never show up on time) and always keeping certain routine for her within a resonable range. I am getting tired of finding excuse for not dragging our daughter to a smokey (everyone smokes here) restaurant and bars possibly with loud music. I have been trying hard to putting my priority right..i.e. my baby's well being is the most important thing and I personally think it is crazy to let kids run around at midnight and eat at 9pm. I have read somewhere and it is a common sense where I come from that babies and children shoud go to bed early which is crucial for their brain development and their health. But having lived here for more than one month, with constant comments from people that I should let the baby sleep on the pram while I enjoy myself with uzo, wine, foods and whatnot, I feel that my strong will is becoming worn off and sort of thinking "should I succum to the people here and take her to the restaurants/bars sometimes????" and "do as romans do???"


They give me this look///"You are not fun" "You don't think we are important enough to make your baby go to bed a bit later" everytime I tell them that I must go home to let the baby sleep, and I must stay home to avoid Madelene situation.


Can someone enlighten me with some concrete scientific findings that going to bed early is very important for kids? Or if someone knows findings that proove otherwise, also let me know so I don't have to fight for her 8pm sleep all alone?

MM,


I think you do what suits you and your family best.


To me, I don't really want to judge on what time a child should sleep anymore (as it varies with family, cultures and what not) BUT what i think is very important is that your child has a bedtime - be it 7pm/8pm/9pm/10pm. it should not be a trial and error process in my opinion. i feel a child needs a bedtime so that you do not have bedtime battles and you know when you can finally put your feet up for the day.


for us, i was very strict in the 1st year - i never wavered from our 6.45pm bedtime for baby. but after he turned one, his sleep pattern has changed slightly. he can sleep longer for his afternoon nap which works great for me as i am currently very tired from my pregnancy. but this means he can't go to bed at 6.45pm. but what i do is that by the absolutely latest, he is in bed on weeknights by 7.30pm. i usually still put him down at 7pm even though i know he might not fall asleep asap. but HE KNOWS that come this time of the evening, i turn the a/c on,grobag on, it's bedtime - no questions about it. he sleeps until 7-7.30am the next morning.


but come weekends, since he can sleep longer in the day and therefore doesn't need to go to bed as early, we do relax things abit. we have early dinners and come home by 8.30-9pm for him to go to bed. since he is older, he copes better being outside in the evenings and i think a little break from the routine during the weekends to see the world is a nice thing.


sorry i have no solutions, just sharing my own experiences so that you can make your own decision. but i would agree with saikunga's advice that i would refrain from spending time with baby in unhealthy environments - ciggies are just bad!

Dear all


i think it is quite a well known fact that a child (esp your age MM) needs at least 14-15 hours sleep - with something like 12 hours at night - so as long as the baby gets that, that is fine. I guess what time you put them to bed, is everyone's personal preference!

Our 12 mnth old twins go to bed 7 pm and sleep till 6.30 - 7 am. But of course the culture in this country is different, so it is entirely up to you.


Think about it this way too - 7pm (ish) routine is great for you - if you are going out, you dont have to bring the baby with you!

I don't know if how "western" medicine scientific this is - but a very prominent Korean Traditional Medicine doctor in seoul says that growth hormone is released at around 11:00 PM, and in order for children to FULLY benefit from the release of that hormone, they should be in deep sleep at least 3 hours prior to that. When asked why can't the cycle be changed to release hormones later, he says the body's reaction to light and dark make the difference - a certain number of daylight vs. a certain number of dark hours determine that release - and most of it is based on the night and day of our world. (interestingly enough, the hormone releases earlier in the winter time...10 or something like that) Anyways, both of my kids have been going to bed REALLY early - 7 or 8 all of their lives. One is in the 99th percentile for height and the other only 50%ile - and I've asked him why, and he says that if my 2nd continues sleeping early, she will eventually catch up and get taller. Not that I am obsessed with height or anything - just something that I learned from him. (I'm not sure if I believe it 100% either.)


I do think our society considers an early riser as a successful person - "the early bird catches the worm" and so on and so forth. Most of the people I admire and respect get up early, start their days early, get their stuff done early and go to bed at a reasonable hour. They are seemingly more productive and more disciplined - and because I personally like that lifestyle, I think my daughters' early bedtimes are a real life lesson and hopefully something that they can maintain long term.


My daughters 3 year old friend who lives downstairs - she goes to bed at INSANE hours - midnight, 1 am, 10 PM, 11PM, and she has to wake up for school at 8:00. Her mother claims she has tried to get her to go to bed earlier and whatnot, but says that she's so in the habit of going to bed with her parents whenever they go to bed that they can't change her habit. (I personally think they haven't tried hard enough but that is ENTIRELY another story.) Sometimes her daughter can't get up to go to school and it causes some fights at home and some guilt, because her mother knows that she is tired and needs more sleep. But kids go to school early as well - and although there are arguments for changing the traditional school day to a later start time (this is currently hotly debated in the US, especially for High School as some people say that teenage biorhythms can't handle an early start like 8:00) in the near future your child will need an early bedtime. I'm all for early bedtimes - it makes parents more sane, it makes kids much more easier to deal with and do your kids really need cigarette smoke?


AS an exception, this weekend, we took our older daughter to a BBQ - normal saturday bedtime is 8:00 PM and she went to the BBq, came back and slept at 10:00PM. She still got up early because of her younger sister - and she ended up with a 101 fever that same day. I attributed to not enough sleep - so she went to bed at 7:30 - and slept in until 8:30 PM - and lo and behold no more fever. (no tylenol either.) I think we underestimate sleep and it's importance.

MM -

I have to say from these recent posts, you sound amazingly flexible and patient!


It is not easy raising our children in the best of steady circumstances... and you just have to do the best you can within the constraints you have....


I agree that you need to keep baby away from the smoke whenever you can... but to put it in balance, a bit of smoke with 23 hours of fresh island air is probably better than HK any day - so don't feel bad or guilty if you can't avoid it all the time. (Of course, NO smoke is ideal, but if you can't avoid it, please don't beat yourself up)


Regarding the sleep time - early bedtimes are great for everyone... I do agree with trying to stick to a regular bedtime when possible. But if baby will sleep in the pram, you should maybe try that once a week so you can go out. Alternatively, can you arrange a babysitter one or two nights a week so you can go out with family?


How much longer on the island???

Hi MM,


Just want to say hello, sorry i don't have an advise to you as my baby sleeps at 7:30pm to 6:30am.


Take care and enjoy the island.

I think you should just do what you feel is best and makes your life with your family work for you. One of the toughest parts of being a parent I think is standing up the the myriad of opinion on what you should be doing with your child. Children do need a certain amount of sleep but it varies child to child and when they have it is of little importance, as long as it works for the whole family! People should have some respect for your culture as you have respect for theirs. Good luck!