Just would not talk!!

Hi,

My son is almost 4yrs old, I'm getting worried because - He refuses to talk once we r out of the house. Actually he can speak fluently, but only wants to speak to me,daddy,helper and sister. When it comes to anyone else even his best friends with whom he plays very often he wouldn't speak at all and does only sign language.

He goes to kindi, I have spoken with his teachers, they said they can see a slight improvement and he would improve later.

I had a talk with him yesterday and tried to coax him to speak with others, he told me that, "I don't want to speak"! I said mom can't do the talking for u every time we go out, to this he said that ok I will stay at home, I don't want to go out.He would be going to primary next sep and for that he would be interviewed, if he doesn't speak up then he might not get in.

What should we do? Except for not talking, overall he's very normal. His age now is 3yrs and 10 mts.Any advise would be appreciated.

Your child could have selective mutism, a social anxiety response. You might consider seeking testing to see if this is the case. There are a number of successful therapies, including "fading and shaping", although I don't know anyone in HK who does this.


There was a programme by Channel 4 (and broadcast here) called Help Me To Speak. The children featured received treatment and did well, as I recall.

This is an old post so not sure if you are still checking the site. We are based in Hong Kong and my son (5) has selective mutism (http://www.selectivemutism.org/) sounds like your child may have the same. (BTW the suggestions mentioned by other posters is opposite to what experts recommend). We have been looking for a therapist in Hong Kong but have been unable to find one who is capable of working with our child. Have you had any luck? Would be interested to hear how your child is doing and what sort of support (if any) you have been able to find in Hong Kong.

Hi pekingman06,

hope you see the post. How did u get to know that ur son has Selective Mutism. My son is getting better but again will not talk to adults. He has started talking to his friends but NOT adults. I had taken him to a child psychologist last year, she said he probably could just be shy and would take some time to come out of it, she never mentioned the term SMutism. Because of this he tends to get bullied very easily by his friends coz when he speaks i feel he gets so conscious that he would not speak loudly. I do get worried. Do let me know if there has been any progress or if u have met anyone. Tks.

My daughter (2½) also becomes very quiet out of the house. She's shy. But as cara says if she doesn't talk she doesn't get. That being said, browbeating does no good. There is a fine line between encouragement and bullying.