Hello, can anyone tell me how to teach my girl (2y4months) to play on her own? if we are out doing some activities, she is a really independent child and entertains herself pretty well. also i can leave her on her own with e.g. neighbours, friends etc. without any drama. she has a lovely nature and is reasonable.
as soon as we spend some time at home, she just follows me around and is not interested in anyt of her toys, books etc. i try and sit down with her, get her involved and then quietely walk away but 1min later she hangs on my legs again crying. is she bored? we have enough toys, playgroup and physical activities going on, so i cant see why she should be bored. and it is just a fact of life that she cant be entertained 24/7.
the only time she happily plays on her own is when she wakes up or goes to sleep. she is happy in her bed for 30min, when she was younger even longer.
is this the HK lifestyle, having a helper etc.?
i would appreciate any thoughts from other parents.
thanks so much.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
19 yrs ago
I think having a helper doesn't help. I used to frquently tell my helper off when the kids were smaller for playing with them all the time. I told her I'd hired her to do the housework, and that its not good for the kids to have that much attention, they need to learn how to occupy themselves. But you're daughter is still pretty young, her concentration span will improve a lot in the next year, when she gets into colouring, puzzles, dolls etc.
Please support our advertisers:
Maybe she just wants to do what you are doing. My son loves that - putting the groceries away, helping make the bed, brushing his teeth, sitting onthe potty whilst I am on the loo (yuk). I bought my son a hoover and brush and he loves to play with these on his own.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi,
I have the same exact trouble with my elsdest, who is very independent when we go out, but wants attention non stop at home. He just turned 3, I already see a marked difference in my youngest 20 months. He happily plays with toy cars by himself without needing constant verbal attention and interaction. I'd say you are dealing with an extroverted child who just loves loves loves to WITH people. and although it's a personality flaw at times and as she gets older you'll have to teach her to be content playing alone it's very hard to teach it when they're so young.
believe me I've TRIED!!! usually results in him screaming in his bedroom, or desperately clinging onto my legs saying " But I LOOOOVE you mummy" " I NEEEEEEEEED you". oh and lately " mummy you love me you need to play with me."
hmm
let her do what you're doing or if you have to do work set her up beside you so she can talk to you while you're doing it. ( i know it's very distracting but it's the only thing that works for me.)
Please support our advertisers:
you think it is just a developmental phase, lilylobster? My 2 year old has become exactly the same too. She plays well outside in the clubhouse and playground with her buddies (yes, she has two boyfriends) but the moment she sees me (I do spotchecks on the helper), she would cling to me and ignore absolutely everyone. At home, she sticks to me like glue. Once I sit, she would sit next to me (body-to-body contact) or sit on the floor grabbing both my legs. She goes into toilet with me. She has to hold my hand to sleep. I figure it is a phase cos she was never like that. started at around 22 months when she knows more things. She doesn't want her father either. just mummy, mummy, mummy. She is sitting with me now whilst I type!
Not sure not I am thinking maybe it is cos i spend too much time with her? I am a stayhome mum. lately, I have been trying to go out more often leaving her with her father or helper so she is not spending 24-7 with me. Am I on the right track?
Please support our advertisers:
I think it must be a stage, I have a two year old and she is doing the same thing. Doesn't want her Dad at all and won't let anyone take her to the toilet but me. I have just enrolled her in a school where she goes twice a week for three hours without me to see if it will make a difference but she has only been going for a few weeks so no change yet. My daughter is not too bad with occupying herself at home but I did specifically tell the helper not to drop everything and run to her every time she called her and if I am busy on the computer it didn't mean she had to entertain her while I wasn't available. I think it is actually a hard habit for my helper to break.
I am hoping the school will help, maybe it will help me too because I know my daughter is not the only one with attachment issues! I think I may be a little attached to her as well!
Please support our advertisers:
Kimmi
19 yrs ago
I believe it's difficult for any child under 5 to entertain themselves. Yes its easy when they are at playgrounds, play centre's, kindy etc because there's usually other kids to play with. At home all they have is yes you Mum, sometimes a helper or Dad or if they are lucky a brother or sister to play with. I believe these little preschoolers need alot of stimulation and attention all the time as their little brains are developing quick and they are learning all the time. I know it can be really hard sometimes especially when you are busy and need to cook or clean etc. With my first child I never had a helper so I sat with her doing puzzles, drawing playing games etc as much as I could at home. Then when it came to me having to do the household chores she just followed me around trying to help or I do things like the ironing when she was a sleep. With my second child Im fortunate enough to have a helper so I have lots of time for him, when I need to do my thing my helper is there for him. Believe me, this time will pass, they grow so quick. Cherish this time with them, cause one day they wont need you and you will miss it. GOOD LUCK
Please support our advertisers:
Exactly, Kimmi, I was just going to say the same thing. TREASURE these baby years with your children. Teach them things, read the same book 20 times in a row, cuddle them as much as you can, do fun crafts with them, play silly games and dress up, let them help you bake things, stir their own wee pots when you are cooking, play in the bath with you, take 20 minutes to walk down the street when you can do it in 5 all alone....etc!
Before you know it they'll be grown and you will miss it SO much!
cheers from Ruth
Please support our advertisers:
And often, the more you push your kid towards independence, the more the kid will cling to you.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail