Getting toddler ready for baby bro

When should one start doing the above?


Not sure if it's just my imagination but I'm only 18 weeks pregnant and I swear my 17 month old toddler knows something is up. He is suddenly very clingy and cuddly and while that's really sweet on one hand (and I guess the pregnancy hormones is giving me the oh just give in to him for now because it won't be just him come Jan 08 mentality), i fear i will have trouble on my hands when the new baby arrives.


any advice? i want to make it a smooth transition for him.

hiya,


join the club! my little one is so clingy and cuddly it's quite unbelievable! it happened at around the same time and at 18months he climbed out of his cot and refused to go to sleep quietly for at least a week (long story that one)!


not sure if it's the pregnancy stuff but he hasn't stopped being clingy and it's got worse these last few months. there will be 22 months between them when the little one comes.


the only thing that i can do right now is to pat my tummy and say 'baby' - he then does the same and is quite sweet when doing it. when daddy kisses my tummy and says 'baby', he then does the same. other than that, there's very little more i can do to make him understand.


what i will be doing though is to get lots of toys for him 'from the baby' so he won't feel alienated when it comes, and i will still continue to take him out as much as possible with his friends after. i will have full time help for the baby so that is a relief at least.


if anyone else has any good ideas then i would love to hear them too!

When people come to visit, make sure they bring a gift and make a fuss of your first born before they even LOOK at the baby.


You will be shocked at our grown up your first born seems when your new baby is born. Don't forget he's still a baby too. He may regress with regards to toileting and many other things. Assure him that he IS still your baby too! Everyone will be trying to say what a big boy he is, but he needs to hear that it's okay to be a baby still.


Often if you try to push them away at this age, they will cling harder. So lots of reassurances do help.


Hang in there!

thanks.

yes joshmomm, i think i've read the thread before, it's just that it's more for when the baby arrives. just wondering if there's anything i can do before that?


so far, we:

1) try to take him along to the check-ups so that he can see the scans

2) plan to buy him a baby doll to get him to understand the concept of a baby

3) we look at the pregnancy book together and show him pictures of newborns, he will point at them and say baby

4) we will need to enrol him in daycare so we're doing that in oct, before baby arrives in jan 08.

5) baby will be using toddler's cot so we plan to buy toddler a new cot bed next month to get him used to new bed.


i am hoping to buy some books to read to him, besides "I'm a big brother now", any other recommendations?

Ours are 14 months apart.

Now 19 and almost 5 months old.


BEFORE:

We had toddler, pat mummy's tummy and say baby.

We had two 'New Baby' 'Big Brother' type books which he loved.

We talked to him about what was going on even though he didn't understand.

He came to the Dr with us and saw the ultrasounds.

We had a baby doll (cheapest one from ToysRUs) that he only really played with AFTER we had baby.

We moved things around in his room before the new baby came.


AFTER:

We introduced him to baby at hospital and he immediately gave baby a hug then ignored her

We let him see breast feeding and everything else

We did NOT shower him with gifts, or even give him anything special

We stuck to his exact routine, where he saw mummy at the same times every day, so that didn't change

We integrated baby into the routines with toddler.


RESULT

Baby and Toddler now share bedroom (just before 3 months)

Toddler cames home from park saying 'baby see baby'

Toddler says 'sssshhh baby is sleeping'

Toddler hugs baby

Toddler and baby share bath (started 4 months)

Toddler gives baby things

Today, toddler helped change baby's nappy - even washing her with a cloth!! it was hysterical, he wanted to keep cleaning her even after he was done!!


DON'T STRESS your toddler is an amazing creature who will take this in his stride... he might have a bit of time adjusting then will never remember life before baby!

Cara - that is sooooo cute!

WM - see all you have to look forward too :)

thanks so much for sharing! cara, your story is soooo cute. i guess at the end of the day, even though they have become big brothers, they still want to feel like they're our babies!


this weekend, we went to toys r us and about a cheap little doll and a tea-set. so my son has been pretty gentle with the doll, not playing with it alot but when he does, it's about "shushing" us because baby is supposed to be sleeping. he'll move it to the bouncy chair or a pillow next to his cot. he's also feeding the baby "tea" from his new tea-set. we think that's really sweet, a good start but know that this could be temporary! but overall, trying to be optimistic about things.


we really want them to share a room too (no choice anyway) so crj, really pleased to hear that you did it at 3 months. how do you do it? is the baby already sleeping through the night or do you sneak in for a dreamfeed?