Teacher Advice

Grrrrr, is it me? Am I an angry old so and so, or am I right to feel this way? Opinions from teachers, parents, anyone are much appreciated.


My daughter has just started kindy (since August) and she seems fine and happy to me. However, on the few occasions that I've spoken to the teachers, I've heard comments that she won't speak Chinese or she won't do things for herself or socialize during play time.


I don't mind constructive criticism or advice from the teachers - I'm not so narrow-minded that I expect my child to be the model student. I just find that there is a disapproving tone when making these comments. I really don't think I'm being sensitive.


This isn't my daughter's first experience with school. She was at a preschool for 1 year, but the environment was more international and she received really good comments from her teacher. This kindy is more local stream, and we put her in this school so that she could be immersed in a more Chinese environment.


Don't children go to school to learn language skills, independence and how to socialize? If they knew all this, then we could just keep them at home! I just want her to have fun (which she says she's having at school) and experience new things!


Has anyone experienced a situation like this where comments from teachers have made your heart sting a little?

Thanks Saikunga for the detailed advice. I haven't done an observation class yet, as I thought it was a bit too early to do that, given that she only started in mid-August. Maybe I will make a request soon.


If you don't mind me asking, are you an educator at an International School? If so, what was your reason for deciding to send her to a local kindergarten in the first place? Mine was so that my child could learn Chinese on a daily basis. They've got to start somewhere, don't they? They'll be fast learners and the not so fast - like my daughter. I just don't like the type of negative words they use about her and not once have I heard them mentioning that she's got really nice sentence construction with her English - I guess it's a taken because it's her first language! But then do they make comments like that to the local parents who have sent their kids to the school to learn English? I'm sure it won't be in a disapproving tone "YOUR CHILD just won't speak English". Oh sigh, I'm just a bit peeved off with the school.


I understand that in the class, she may be a minority in that she doesn't speak Cantonese. I'm sure it'll hinder her a little from forming friendships early on, but feel positive that she will slowly settle in and somehow communicate with them later on. However, when it comes to the teachers comments, it's like they've never seen a case like her before and makes her seem so alien!


Can't help feeling I've made the wrong decision to send her to this school - just don't want to give up too soon, yet don't want to spend too long there if my daughter is indeed internally unhappy! Grrrrr!!

Definitely go to see what goes on in class, as soon as you can.

I'm surprised the school never asked you to sit in right from the beginning!

My 19 month old son is in week 3 of playschool. The first day of school, the school specifically requested that a parent accompany to child as it was meant to serve as an orientation session for the parents, to know what goes on during school hours. So I went along and other than the school being slightly short-handed and running a full house (which the principal said that they were looking into), I was happy with what was being offered.


The school he's attending is local but due to it's location, very popular with expats as well so the school tries to cater to all. It's a billingual programme, which is important to us as we want him to learn Mandarin as well.


And if the teachers do speak about my child in the disapproving tone that you describe, I would be unhappy to. Like the 2nd day of school, the Mandarin teacher mentioned that he didn't seem to know what his Chinese name was (which is true, as we never use it). But she stated it as a fact, not in a oh are you aware that he's so stupid he doesn't know his Chinese name tone.


No solutions here but just want to share my experience. It's one thing to be an over-anxious parent but at the same time, you need to ensure that your child is fitting in happily too. Good luck!

I know how you feel Politeemployer. I went through the same thing last year when my daughter went to K1 at a local kindergarten. It's a famous brand name local kindergarten, but I still wondered whether I made the right decision to send her there. She just started K2.... although her chinese subject in K1, received letter grade A , over the summer, she forgot alot of it because we don't speak Chinese at home, and over the summer, she went to an international school for summer camp.


All of last year, the teachers were kind and nurturing, but always told me to speak more chinese to her, or expose her to more chinese as she's at a disadvantage compared to other children in the class when it comes to things like listening skills (all in chinese), singing in Chinese, and some instructions that require higher level of Cantonese speaking skills. Often my daughter couldn't express herself in class or to the teachers, like needing to go to washroom, or felt sick like throwing up, or didn't understand that the teacher asked them to bring back leaves, or recycled card board for arts and crafts.... etc.


This year, just started, last month, her new classroom teacher said to me, she's a little slow in response, but she watches other children and will follow. Can't you speak more Chinese to her at home? Any grandparents? etc etc etc


So, I know how you feel, but I don't take it personally and neither should you. They are a class teacher, and when in discussion with you about your child, it is the chinese culture, (Not to be negative), but to be humble, and also to mention things or factors/areas that your child can improve on. Of course your child has many strengths, but teachers in local kindergartens seems to forget to mention it as often as they mention weaknesses. And THAT is chinese culture .... I really believe that.


I was born in HK, and went to school until 9 years old in HK, then we moved to Canada, where I lived over 22 years.... and so I am glad I have the chinese culture in my blood, but was raised and educated in Western world. So I am a banana.... and feel happy about it.


Now I am still thinking and debating where to send my little one for kindergarten, and then for my daughter,which primary school? Local or int'l?


But, to be honest, my daughter enjoys going to school after that first dreadful month. She picked up quickly alot of chinese, and now is writing alot of chinese characters, and dictation is part of the weekly routine. At first, I thought it was ridiculous, but now... I guess I underestimated her.. and the curriculum.


It's been established for over 30 years.... this kindergarten, and the graduates all move on to brand name schools for primary..... so I guess there is SOMETHING right about it.


Hang in there....

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! Really appreciate it and sorry to say this, but glad that I'm not the only one who has experienced this. I really think that her previous preschool and my own upbringing led me to believe teachers should be there to praise and encourage the children, and advise parents when things are not quite right and when teachers need the parents to reinforce certain things at home.


However, as it's a kindergarten and only her 2nd month in, I really thought they'd give the parents a bit of slack about what they CANNOT do. Oh well, I guess it is the Chinese culture and way of schooling here. I'm an overseas Chinese myself, which is why I feel torn about sending her to a local kindergarten yet getting a more westernised approach when it comes to encouragement and support. Will not let it get to me too much, but feeling very inclined to get her on the international school path.


One more question: If an available space comes up in the int'l kindy for 2007-8, do you think it's better for my daughter to start mid school year or wait until K2 in August 2008? At this age, they are still very adaptable and shouldn't be doing too much harm by changing environment so quickly, right?


Thanks again!

As a teacher, and parent having been through what you're going through now PoliteEmployer, the teachers job is to ensure the child has an enjoyable experience at kindergarten as these are the years that are going to foster his love of learning for years to come.


He should be encouraged, praised, disciplined when needed (although not to extreme, me i give my children in my class the look and the pointed finger) and guided. If you feel he is getting anything other than that which you are not happy with talk to the Principal.


Also my daughter went to a bilingual kindergarten and knew NO canto whatsoever. Yes she trundled along for the first couple of months hating it but she soon setlled down and enjoyed it and made many friends and was able to loosely converse with them.


Local teachers do tend to be harsher, giving bright red crosses on incorrect homework at 4 (!) and expect kids to sit still for 20-30mins. Everything is based on doing well and not diverting from anything, so if you do divert, don't do as well as others or, in a lot of western kids, are independant and strong willed, this is seen as being a trouble maker, uncontrollable or 'having a learning problem'.


You as a parent know what's right for your child, and you alone can make those judgements. Also jusge from the child, is he happy/sad, wants to go to school.......and remember, you have a voice, you're paying the fees!

We also had problem with our son's kindie.


Last term, (he was in K1), he went home with a red mark on his nose. He told us that his English teacher pressed his nose very hard.

We called his teacher and later talked to the English teacher.

She told us that she helped him to clean his nose.


She also told me that my son was autistic.

I denied it because I knew that he was a normal kid.

Finally I met her at the school and talked about my son. She still insisted that he was autistic; she knew it because she had worked with autistic children for 9 years before. She then started to list my son's autistic features.

I told her, nicely of course, that I didn't want her to label my son. She said that she didn't label my son, just said the fact. Duh!


I decided to talk to the person in charged at the school since the principal was hardly there (she was at the others school).


A few days after, the English teacher told me that she spent an extra 15 minutes that day with my son and now she was sure that he was not autistic but had a high IQ.

So, why she told me differently before? What kind of a teacher is that?


And the red mark on top of my son's nose faded only after a week!

What do you think of that?


This term, only after 1 and 1/2 weeks into the term, my son had another problem with the English teacher.

She asked him to recite the phonics A-Z, but he didn't want to do it.

That, plus the other children didn't give her full attention, she got angry and asked my son to stay behind for another English lesson while all his classmates went back to their class. He then cried.


Unfortunately, she managed to tell his class teacher that he was a difficult kid and it was better if he moved to another school.


We still don't want to move him because he likes it there and we like the large play area. But if there's another incident, we definitely are going to talk with the principal.