Posted by
JinHK
19 yrs ago
My friends have a 4 year old son who HATES going to school. He is a bright enough little boy, very active, good social skills at home but his parents are told by his teacher that he day dreams at school.
I have suggested that he might be a bright little boy who is bored at school, hence the day dreaming and not wanting to be there. Conversely he might not be able to keep up with the rest of the class and this is his way of escaping. Whatever the cause his parents are very concerned about him not wanting to go off with the other kids each day.
I also suggested that the parents speak to the teachers at the school and ask for him to be assessed. In fact one would have thought that the teachers would be doing this anyway.
Can anyone recommend someone independant who could assess this little boy?
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JinHK
19 yrs ago
Thanks Cara. Most grateful if you can remember his name / details.
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ohga
19 yrs ago
There are several good child and educational psychologists in Hong Kong. However, if your friend contacts the Child Development Centre at Matilda Hospital 28496138 she can do one of two things - request a full developmental assessment which is carried out by an occupational therapist and speech therapist or request to see the psychologist attached to the Centre - Yvonne Becher. The CDC is a charity but these appointments would be on a private basis.However they are competitively priced compared to some other places in HK. If they felt, when asking details about your friend's son, that they are not the best people to help they have all the numbers of the other English-speaking specialists in town and can give you the details. I hope this helps.
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JinHK
19 yrs ago
Thank you so much, I will pass this on.
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caleb knight and michael wood are both educational psychologists working in HK. i have 2 different friends who each used one of these, and were both happy with them.
hope this is of some help.
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Hi, I have another similar situation. My three-year-old son has just started K1 in an international kindy. His teacher told me that he didn't want to interact at all with his classmates nor teachers at school. He did try to answer single-word answers when his teacher asks him questions. He did make comments about books when they were doing reading in circle time. But at home, he is a happy, confident active boy. playing happily with his elder brother. He is not a problem at all. he has good social manners but just refuses to talk to people outside. His teacher thought that it's a worry and problem. what do you think?
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Hi Luxury,
If I'm correct, your son just started K1 this August or September, right? It's only been 2 months since he first started and he may be getting used to the environment still. My daughter is like your son - she's bubbly and talks alot at home, and at her previous preschool, but at this new kindy, she's apparently a quiet child and doesn't really interact with her classmates. Some people (not just children) take longer to warm up than others. Could it be a language barrier? Even if your son is at an international kindy, could it be that they are talking in Cantonese when playing together, and he doesn't understand what they're saying? I heard from her NET today that she now understands my daughter as it appears that my daughter was answering in slurred noises, as opposed to proper words. Surprise to me, as she talks wonderfully at home (and at the preschool before), but maybe it's her way of showing that she doesn't know what's going half the time and she's still adapting; or she's trying to mimick the Chinese language that she's hearing all the time at school - who knows?
Is he okay in the playground/clubhouse with other children? How about at birthday parties - does he shy away from other children and parents? If it's just at school, I think he's just getting used to the environment. Not expert advice here, just a parent's perspective.
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Many thanks, Politeemployer, for your advice and concern.
I perfectly agree with you that with my son, it takes a very long time for him to get used to new environment and situations. Even at clubhouse and parties, it takes a while for him to get along. But he still prefers to come to me rather than with other children. Even though he doesn't interact with his peers, he knows all their names and sings all the songs he learnt at home. He apparently enjoys school life.
The school suggested him being assessed by Educational psychiatrist. Do you think that it's too early to do that? The teacher even warned that he may have difficulty in getting to P1 even though he has only attended K1 for one and a half months. Do you think that the teacher has over-reacted?
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Hi Luxury,
Read my post "Teacher Advice" and you'll kind of get the feeling of how I feel re: teachers and comments made.
As some of the parents suggested on my thread, why don't you ask to do an observation on your son at school? Then you get to know the situation a little better and gauge whether your son does have an "issue", or whether it's an over-reaction from their part. If after that you and the teacher really want him to be assessed by an educational psychiatrist, I don't think your son at 3 will not really know it's an assessment as such, and as long as everything is played down and not labelled as a special case, then I think it should be okay.
I know teachers are supposed to be our eyes and ears at school, and feedback is always good, but sometimes, I don't know whether their comments are all that constructive and good, especially at such an early stage of his kindy life!
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Thanks Cara, for your advice. I took my son for an assessment with Dr Knight as I felt so uneasy after what the teacher has said about him. I was so relieved after seeing Dr Knight. He mentioned that he's just a shy boy who takes much longer time to feel comfortable with groups. He suffers from separation anxiety and selectively mutism which happens more to bi-lingual children than children who speaks only one language. He said that he is a bright smart boy, and his language ability is good. HE suggested us give him more opportunities to play wiht his peers and provides him with more prompts as to how to interact with peers socially and verbally.
BTW, Dr Knight is such a patient and understanding person, not imposing his knowledge on you but understanding the uniqueness of the child and providing practical and down-to-earth suggerstion.
Thanks so much, Cara.
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He charges $1300 per hour for consultation. I paid 1950 for one and a half hour consultation. He did a language test with my son too.
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JinHK
18 yrs ago
Hi Luxury,
Can you give me the contact details of Dr. Knight (address and tel.no.)? Tried 1081 and pccw and cannot find him listed.
Thanks so much.
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Hi, JinHK,
Dr Knight's details can be obtained at the following website:
childandfamilycentre.net
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