Posted by
Momoftwo
18 yrs ago
Hello,
I am a mother of two children. One boy and one girl. My husband really would like at least one more child, he does not care if it's boy or girl, just one more.
I personally do not want to go through another pregnancy and feel that I do not have the energy to start all over again the whole pregnancy process, breastfeeding, sleepless nights... etc.
My two kids are both under 5 years old.
I do like children very much. But I do not see that I want to have a third child in the next two years at least, but I will be approaching 37 years old in another two years. Would I regret it?
How to resolve this issue with husband?
Just want to hear from other parents(moms) who have three or more children.
Thank you very much.
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Tinky
18 yrs ago
Hi
I have three kids,two girls and a boy.I always wanted four,my hubby two and so we compromised at three.I think had I had one of each for 1 and 2 he might not have been so keen.
Three by my book is totally amazing but it is so much busier than two and it only due to the fact that I have help that I am able to take time for myself.I need that to keen me sane and allow me to give the best to my kids.
I have a big gap between one and two and then two years between two and three.Personally I would not want/choose to have three under the age of 5/6 yrs.That would be challenging!
Am I glad I have three-most definately!In my book a big family is a great investment,but its tons of work and you really need to want it.I felt stretched very thin in the beginning but now I have scheduled my life more and I have time with each child one on one,time for a workout and time with my hubby.A real balancing act which only really works thanks to my helper.I would not want to do it without her.
Good luck with your decision!
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cd
18 yrs ago
Personally as a mum of 5 I would definately recommend going for number 3. I know lots of families with 3 or more kids, many with only a year or 2 between them. Yes its hard when they're small, but its so wonderful seeing them all playing together when they're a bit older. I actually have big age gaps with mine, but its still wonderful seeing the older ones taking care of the smaller ones. Christmas, birthdays, holidays are all extra fun with a big family. I would definately have gone for number 6 given the chance.
Saying that though, if you or your husband can't agree then having another one could cause problems in your relationship. If its the pregnancy and sleepless nights that you don't want rather than another child, then think about adoption as Cara says. You could adopt a baby slightly older so he/she is passed the newborn stage. Adoption can be a wonderful thing, I should know as I was adopted as a baby myself. I had a great upbringing and my adopted parents were my real parents in every way.
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jele
18 yrs ago
I have also one boy and one girl less than 5y.
When we had the idea of the second child, we said " oh the diappers, the short nights, ...". But we've done it anyway. And you know? diappers, short nights, it doesn't last a very long time compare to our happiness.
We are also thinking about a 3rd child, but the decision is taken already: there will be a third one.
A positive thing: if you start now, in two years you will have a child able to speak (at least a few words), who can eat almost alone, who sleep all the night, who can walk, run and share time and activities with you.
But if you wait 2 more years to do it, you will have a "independant" child in 4 years !
And your children will have max 5y difference, so still can play together.
So?
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Our eldest is 5, youngest is 3 months old and we have a 2 year old in between. It's fairly tiring right now, and will probably get worse as the baby starts to crawl and the walk, but it is TOTALLY worth it. The children adore one another and the 2 older ones have a reasonable amount of common sense by now. Watching the older ones play with their friends at the playground etc., I realise that in a couple of years it will all be easy!
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Thanks everyone. Sigh, will DEFINITELY consider the "third".......... just considering though! :)
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Momoftwo - it is your decision and yours alone I am afraid. We always wanted 2 and were lucky to have twins, two in one go!! So I am thrilled that I dont have to:
1) go through pregnancy again
2) go through sleepless nights again
3) go throught all the difficult processes (potty training, weaning etc etc) more than once..
I would certainly not recommend less than 2 but in my and my husbands view 2 is perfect, dont need another one..
so there you go - everyone has their own view!
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