MealTime Like A Battle

I have two boys, age 3.5 and 5 and I am having challenges with them when it comes to meal times. In summary, they just don't sit down and finish their meals properly. They would eat well for like the first ten minutes or so and then start getting off the chair and go to the toilet or to their room to get toys or books.


We have set basic rules like no toys or books on the table during meal times but they don't seem to listen. I've tried all methods that I can think of including:


1) Giving them a time and when they don't finish the meal by the time's up, then the food gets taken away and they get no food until the next meal or they have to finish whatever they left on the previous meal


2) Taking away toy and TV time privilege


3) Reward/Bribery with stickers where they get a sticker for every meal finished properly and when they reach a certain amount of stickers, they get a small gift or an activity of their choice


4) Seperating the two so that they don't distract each other and play


BUT none of of the above seem to work too well and I'm lost of ideas. I don't want every meal time to be like a battle with them but at the same time, how do I get them to finish their meal properly without being too rigid?


Some friends said that this is normal with boys and it'll grow out but if I don't get them to listen to basic instructions like these (generlly they are ok on other aspects like picking up toys, tidying up and even doing their worksheets).


Please share your thoughts with me. Thank you.

Oh, I forgot to say that I've also tried to make meals 'interesting' by cooking their favorite food and asking them what they like to eat (hoping they would eat better if it's favorite food)but it only works occasionally.

I am at the table eating with them every day except lunch on weekdays when I'm at work. I make it a point to wake up earlier just to eat breakfast with them.

I agree with Saikunga.

Also, get them to help you with cooking the meal.

Saikunga, i have tried all the methods you suggested above. I don't think my servings are big and my boys don't get to snack before dinner as I know all these will result in poor appetite during main meal time. This is not happening just one meal but every meal, including b/fast where they should be the hungriest, right?


I don't scream or yell when they don't finish their meal. Like you suggested, I just simply take the food away and not offer any food until the next meal. You probably forgot Saikunga but I wrote in a similar thread a year ago and these were your suggestions so I have followed them but it still doesn't seem to quite work.


I invite them to cook together with me but both show little interest. I figured that if they were part of it, then they will enjoy the results cause they made it.

Trust me, it's not just boys, girls are little buggers as well when it comes to mealtimes and breakfast for that matter. I hate dinner and breakfast in our house, beacause it's the same thing day in day out, my 4 year old just doesn't want to eat. Not because she isn't hungry but because there are too many other exciting things going. It's the life of an active child. If she doesn't eat, the plate is taken away and heated up again the next night. No treats afterwards, except a piece of fruit. If the boys are eating for the first 10 minutes then maybe they just are not big eaters. You can only do what you can and it sounds like it's the right thing. They are kids afterall, as much as we would like to have the perfect family sitting down together having "quality time", it just won't work out that way for sometime until they are older. If they are active and healthy, then that is good. Only if they looked malnourished and lethargic would I then really be concerned.

Are they overweight and underactive?

That can also make a difference.

No, my boys are not overweight and they are active enough...they are very normal kids.