Spoiled baby... any tips?

Our baby girl is turning one this mnth. I just noticed that with everyday she becomes nottier and nottier/more and more spoiled: crying laud/raising her voice when she cannot reach smth, throwing food, refusing to seat in the stroller, screaming when not receiving smth, trying to draw attention by any cost, eating ONLY by herself (very little BTW) not allowing to feed her and etc. I realize she is very little but I feel better I start smth as I wouldn't want to see her becoming a spoiled brat. She is our first child and I have no clue how to handle it.


Could anyone recommend a book that would guide me how to raise her behavior-wise?

Do you have any first hand advice on how to deal with the above everyday situations?

Having a helper, many moms not working in HK, do you think that it's unavoidable at HK that kids become spoiled?

Also how can I introduce table manners? Now most of the food is thrown on the floor. She is eating with her hands only.


Thank you

Thank you very much for the replies. i've drawn a lot of practical wisdom from the first two replies. And I will definitely read the book too. Thanks again to everyone. Love the forum :).

To uhha-64, All the things you describe in your post sound like normal 1 year old behaviour to me. Toddlers tend to have tantrums often because of frustration, they know what they want, but getting you to understand what they want isn't easy due to a lack of speech. You may want to feed them, afterall its easier and quicker, they don't care that you don't want the mess, they just want a bit of independance. Let her feed herself with fingers and a spoon, whilst you spoon feed her as well, just put a plastic mat under the highchair. Get her some baby reins, then if you are walking somewhere quieter then let her walk, but make it cleawhen she has to stay in the pushchair. As to shouting when she can't reach something, thats also frustration, shouting and cryings their only way of communicating until their speech develops.

Be firm but consistant in your handling of situations (not always easy) praise good behaviour, try to ignore bad. And get other caregivers like the helper or dad to behave in the same way so she doesn't learn to play one off against the other.

I agree with CD this is normal one year old behaviour (of course some are angels, and some are worse), and i certainly agree with the notion it comes from frustration. I don't believe in age when it comes to feeding themselves. My 4 yrold still refuses to feed himself while my friend's 1 yearold feeds himself v well. There are no rule, only what you accept and what you don't. If she wants to feed herself, why not? As mentioned above, get a spoon and feed her as she feeds herself.

Another thing is trying to feed her a little earlier than when she gets really hungry. If v hungry, she will be impatient and frantic, and even more frustrated with feeding.

Don't panic! She is not spoilt (ie, dont blame yrself), just small and cannot speak. By all means, let her walk whenever possible, but don't give in if you want her in the pushchair for whatever reason, and don't be embarassed by her screaming! She doesn't know any better, that's all. But you'll teach her little by little.

A child's screams causes huge stress on the mum, but don't panic, the situation is not hopeless, and will improve in time. Try to calm her down with words (and try to appear calm yourself), don't shout back or try to appease her with sweets or toys. Always name the object she wanted once you found out what it was: she will learn to say it.

Patience and consistency are everything - with children of all ages.

I'm glad someone started this thread! My 14 month old daughter is also screaming when she can't get what she wants. Any advice on how I should react? Sometimes when I say a firm "no" or ignore her she will just get even more frustrated and scream louder! Thanks!

"I'm glad someone started this thread! My 14 month old daughter is also screaming when she can't get what she wants. Any advice on how I should react? Sometimes when I say a firm "no" or ignore her she will just get even more frustrated and scream louder! Thanks!"


It's hard saying no like that. I often find the best tactic "no + distraction". Say no gently, then propose something else she really likes. The attention span of a sub 2 year old is pretty short. It doesn't always work, but often.


Just saying no at such an early age is a bit of a losing proposition.




Also agree with Saikunga. REWARD settled behavior. My daughter (now 26 months) is a big whiner at the moment. But she is slowly learning that I will instantly do her bidding (within reason) if she expresses herself in a normal voice. If she whines I say "say it without whining or crying first". This took a few weeks. Now I just raise one eyebrow.


The carrot often works better than the stick. Reward the good behavior and ignore (if you can) the bad. Or at least ensure she gets nothing from screaming/crying.