What to do - scared of interviews

Hi...my 3.5 yr old has been attending few school interviews in the last one month. She refuses to leave me and go inside. Last week for FIs interview, she cried for 20 mins before i could persuade her to go inside and I have no hope whatsoever of her getting thru with that mental frame. What do i do with her to make her feel better about the same. I have never said the word interview to her, always called it a playparty where she would meet other kids and people.


In a known surroundings shes very confident and comfortable but the moment I have to leave her and she is alone with some people she goes all nervous and starts crying.


How do I deal with this. She has another int coming up next week and I dont know how to prepare her for the same.


thanks a lot frds

Maybe not so helpful but I find this interview method somewhat cruel and totally lacking in understanding of children. All children are different. Some are less confident in new surroundings, even at 3 or 4. Goodness knows I cried when I went to a new pre-school at 3½. Nothing abnormal about that.


It's the school that should undertake to foster even those children who are not as confident. Who knows where the next Mozart (a rebel) or Einstein (did not do well at school) will pop up?


As I said, that doesn't help in practice. I just wanted to tell you I feel your pain.

Not sure if this helps but when my son first had to attend interviews I told him it was a chance for him to ask questions that I couldn't answer ie can I use a Superman school bag etc and he could also see if he liked the school and teachers. He seemed to respond to that and felt he had a say in the matter as well.

Is it possible for someone else to take her to the interviews? An aunt or family friend?

You may have tried this, but have you asked the school if you could take your daughter to the area in which the interviews are conducted before the assessment date? Some schools are very good, especially with the younger ones and do 10 minute 'tours' just so that the environment is not totally alien to them on the interview day. It works out for the school too as they want the 'best' students and do not want to lose a confident and capable child just because she is nervous. Even if you can only see the classroom after school hours, it is better than nothing, but if she can see a class full of relaxed and happy children you can build up to the interview and make it sound like a fun place that she would enjoy.


Also, we tried to arrive nice and early for interviews. It allowed time to play with other children in the waiting area before going into the classroom without parents. Once they have 'bonded' with at least one other child, the whole thing becomes less daunting (3 year olds make friends very quickly and knowing their new friends' names is not necessary). Then once they were invited in I said something to the effect of 'why don't you go into that room and the grown-ups will show you some other games'. At that age, the inteviews involve a lot of lego, cutting, drawing etc.


I think you are already doing the right thing by talking about 'playparties etc'. I ahve seen some parents put the fear of God in their tiny tots before interviews and shudder to think what's going on in the poor child's head. I ahve actually hear one mother say that she will not love her child as much if he does not do better this time! Personally, would rather send my children to a second or third rate school than put them though that type of emotional torture to go to a top one.


Good luck! It will all work out for the best.

Great tips msrl!



"I ahve seen some parents put the fear of God in their tiny tots before interviews and shudder to think what's going on in the poor child's head. I ahve actually hear one mother say that she will not love her child as much if he does not do better this time! Personally, would rather send my children to a second or third rate school than put them though that type of emotional torture to go to a top one."


Agreed wholeheartedly. Browbeaten children have issues later in life.