Posted by
Gabbie
18 yrs ago
Hi, my 16 month old daughter has a habit of waking up around twice in the middle of the night and she would cry everytime and she won't stop until I pick her up and soothe her back to sleep. It only usually takes a few minutes and she'll quickly fall back asleep. However I'm beginning to wonder if I should just let her cry it out so she can fall asleep on her own rather than relying so much on me. Did anyone have similar experience? Thanks!
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crj
18 yrs ago
My 25 month and 11 month old share a room - if one cries it rarely lasts more than a few minutes (I call it a roll over cry - they rolled over and woke and then go back to sleep).
We never go in, they always go back to sleep.
When the cry is different and an obvious distress cry, then we go in. In these cases it has been: my son getting his leg stuck in the bars of the crib, my daughter banging her head so hard she had a bruise (when she was starting to crawl, she must have lunged!), once a poo, once a vomit.
If it is just a 'normal' sounding cry, I would see what happens if you don't go in - and be consistent.
good luck
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Feel your pain. The "fun" thing is that they fall off the wagon from time to time. They'll be fine for months and all of a sudden you get a week of no sleep.
Parenting is such fun sometimes! ;)
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i did what tracy hogg suggests. you pcik up baby if they cry, and put them down as soon as they-ve calmed downs. about three nights of this and baby settled down to sleeping well.
he still does wake up sometimes and cry out, i wait and see and if he cries more than 10 sec i go. he sees me lies down and goes back to sleep.
IMHO crying it out is traumatic for baby......
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goddess kali, that works for some babies. With ours it didn't/doesn't. Picking them up, then putting them down didn't do anything to stop the crying. So we went for the old fashioned method of letting them cry it out. Of course we went in to check on them every 8 minutes so they knew we hadn't abandoned them.
As for being traumatic for baby, it probably is. But I don't think it scars them in the long run.
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I decided to take a softer approach of letting her cry for a few minutes. When I knew she wasn't going to stop, I went in her room and started patting her. I insisted on not picking her up. Of course she still cried for about 15 mins but she got so tired, she drifted off to sleep. Let's see if she will improve..
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crj
18 yrs ago
Good for you! Good luck :)
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patting to sleep also works with mine. he does whimper and object a little bit, but settles down quickly enough.
also one other thing you can do if your baby always wakes around the same time, is getting up a about 10 minutes before they get up and slightly rouse them. like turning them over or whatever to wake them a bit but not completely, it kind of interrupts their cycle and they forget about waking up.
Cara, i agree, baby crying is awfully traumatic for me too.
axpatguy, well i'm sure not all methods work for all babies. They are after all very different one from the other.
PU/PD or rather in the case of an older baby, maybe just putting down, patting and soothing, does involve some crying on the part of the baby. but at least with mine it lasted a really short time.
As for babies not being scarred in the long run, i dont know, until i see clear studies that prove without doubt that they are not scarred, i'm not going to believe that it doesnt.
When a child cries during the day for whatever reason, parents usually rush to see what's going on, and soothe the child or sort out his/her problems. nobody lets their child cry for 8minutes before going to check. For a baby 2, 3, 5, 8, 10 minutes is a reallly long time. I'm not sure they really understand that the parent(s) hasnt abandoned them because they make a brief appearance once in a long while.
I'm sure all parents take well considered decisions for the wellbeing of their children and if it works for you, it works....
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"When a child cries during the day for whatever reason, parents usually rush to see what's going on, and soothe the child or sort out his/her problems. nobody lets their child cry for 8minutes before going to check. For a baby 2, 3, 5, 8, 10 minutes is a reallly long time. I'm not sure they really understand that the parent(s) hasnt abandoned them because they make a brief appearance once in a long while."
I think babies are smarter than that. On some level, they are aware that they are crying for attention. So it's not like letting a kid cry during the day after a head bump or something.
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well if you're convinced, you're convinced.
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You may want to try a controlled crying method that refers to letting a child cry for a short period then coming in to give comfort, then leaving again, each time lengthening the time before you return. You may also slowly reduce the level of comfort from picking the child up, to patting down, to just standing by the cot.
Several Hong Kong based community midwives offer help and support with sleep issues and controlled crying techniques.
Matilda Well Baby Clinic 2849 1500
Matilda International Hospital
Hong Kong
http://www.matilda.org
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