parenting advice.

What do you do when your kids come home from school? Exercise? Homework, dinner, bedtime, story? It seems like other people fit more into their day than i do. my kids go to bed at 8 and would like to play computers or watch tv in the free time they have. i'd prefer they read, make dinner, etc. should they get to relax for an hour a night or should i save tv for the weekend?thanks!!

How old are the kids.


I would definitely either save TV/videogames for the weekend, or have a 30 minute max window. We are rather "tough" about this one. TV hinders creativity.


This doesn't mean you have to constantly create activities. Where I am from people say that "children have to learn what it's like to be bored". Meaning that children will find something to do and that it's healthy for them to come up with their own solutions to boredom. Note that this is not an excuse for not doing things with your kids. It just mean s that you don't have to be the "activity leader" all the time.

My younger kids go to bed at 8 too. My son does football 1 evening a week, plus saturdays, and rugby sundays. My daughter does tap one day afterschool, and football on saturdays. Maybe once a week they'll have a playdate. Other than that, they amuse themselves, do a bit of homework, a bit of reading each night, play computer games, watch a film, play toys, draw. Whatever they can think of. Agree that you should not be organising every minute of their time, kids need to be able to find things to do by themselves, they also need time to chill out and relax. I don't mind mine watching TV during the week as most weekends are spend outside running around and doing sport.

I think it's a difference of degree, not a real disagreement cara. ;) As I see it, whether you allow 0, 30, 60 or unlimited minutes of TV per day (and adapt by age), the important thing is not to use the TV as a baby sitter and to monitor what your child is watching. Also while plenty of children do grow up perfectly normal with a lot of tv, there are many others who have concentration difficulties and who cannot focus unless their attention is held by something at all times. So if your child can watch lots of TV without issues, fine. But if you start seeing issues, perhaps try setting TV rules.


Documentary channels are indeed great. One advantage is that they tend to have a slower rhythm. More "hip" programming has a cut every 5 seconds or so. A sure path to ADD.



"i don't think that kids should have every minute of their lives scheduled. i knew a 6 year old who went to full day school and then had 13 other lessons every week....a little bit of overkill and the child probably suffered from burnout by the time she was 10."


There is a lot of that in the US nowadays. Apart from the burnout there are other issues. Employers are complaining that their new hires have little initiative and need to be spoon fed. Psychologists would try leaving kids alone with a toy. Even 2 year olds wouldn't know what to do unless an adult was there playing with them.

Thanks so much! I appreciate the ideas!!

My daughter has piano and after school activities on Wednesdays, after school activities on Thursdays and Kumon Chinese and maths on Fridays. She does acting workshops on Saturdays. My son, 13, does roller hockey on Thursdays and Saturdays and guitar on Mondays. We have a limit on TV, mostly to decrease stimulation before bedtime and also to be sure homework is complete. They both practice their instrument each day and still have and still have free time for play.

My 3.5 year old doesn't like watching tv. We may have it on 3-4 times a week where she watches for 15 minutes at a time. She spends the rest of her time asking for this toy or that... she asks to go to the park VERY often too. She has playdates at least 2-3 times a week.


She goes to school for half a day, and spends the other half napping. She'll spend about 15 minutes a day doing her homework - which is either tracing an alphabet or colouring.


She goes to bed at 8pm too. We read her a storybook and that's about it.


During the weekends, we take her out.


I feel guilty sometimes when other parent at her school tell me how much they do with their children. Eg. they go for classes, they know their homework inside out.... but then I look at my nephews and nieces in Australia who are the same age and they aren't even at school. They are running around having fun.


My little girl loves playing with her dolls and I know she's learning a lot through this. She's learning how to take care of the young, she's teaching them manners and she puts them in the naughty corner if they are being naughty. She teaches them how to say sorry and teaches them the importance of sharing. It's quite cute and you don't learn these things when they are doing written homework, piano lessons or all the other "structured" activities.

"I feel guilty sometimes when other parent at her school tell me how much they do with their children. Eg. they go for classes, they know their homework inside out.... but then I look at my nephews and nieces in Australia who are the same age and they aren't even at school. They are running around having fun."


Indeed. In many countries it's unusual for kids as young as two to go to pre-school. Not saying it's good or bad either way, just that there are many ways to skin the cat.


I think that parents should play and "do things" with their kids, but there's nothing wrong with kids having plain unstructured fun all by themselves.


The parenting trend of the last decade seems to be making parents feel guilty when they don't do "everything possible" with and for their child. So parents are guilted into organizing activities, classes, parties, etc with their kids constantly. Nothing wrong with any of those things, but everything should be taken in moderation.


Watch TV? Sure, just not too much.

Classes? Sure, just not too much.

Junk food and candy? Sure, just not too much.


My cousin described his child rearing philosophy thus: "An adequate amount of food, a short leash and lots of love."

Have a look at this website for more useful information :

http://www.hyper-parenting.com/start.htm.