child behaviour

I am troubled a bit about my childs acts,he is 5yrs old, it could be getting erratic when we visit others or vise versa, or finding faults with what we do all the time, or just crying instead of asking for favours.He is mostly rude with his replies, and very bossy with his younger brother(almost 3 yrs), helper and parents.

It's hard to tell anything without knowing a bit more. However here are some points to think about. Also note it can take months to change behavior.

- Try having a set routine every day, and warning of changes ahead of time. Many kids feel insecure in new situations. Introduce new things slowly.

- If he starts acting up, make sure he isn't hungry or tired.

- Try to plan your/his time well. That last errand might have to wait if it means you would have to deal with a tantrum.

- Older kids are often jealous. Try to make some time just for him (and some time just for his younger brother). Ensure it's fair and ensure you explain to both what you are doing.

- Explain and include the child in decisions if possible.

- If the decision is made say "time to go to bed", not "would you like to go to bed now?" The latter opens up for "no I don't want to" which is an undesirable outcome.

- Give 5 minute warnings before something happens. "We have to leave in 5 minutes".

- Do not accept hitting of anyone. Warn him once and if he does it again put him in a 5 minute time-out. It takes time but the lesson does sink in.

- Try to find the underlying reason for the behavior at any particular time. Some kids act up after coming home from school/kindy. Probably because they are on their best behavior in an environment where they don't feel 100% secure. Once they get home their reaction is too far in the other direction and they hit/have a tantrum/cry.

- Do not accept rudeness. If he says something rude/bossy, calmly say "I don't want to talk with you/play with you if you are rude. Please ask again nicely." If he persist walk away. If he then hits, give him a warning, then next time a time-out.

- Make sure everyone who has regular contact with him plays by the same rules. Many kids become very insecure if one parent behaves one way and the other another way. Same with the helper. Do not allow one person to "rescue" him if he is being disciplined by another.

- Be patient, kind and calm. He is just a kid. But be firm.


If none of that works, perhaps you should consult your pediatrician.

Hi, THANKS. Actually i have been trying to do couple of these things lately, and they have worked, sometimes. The boy is actually an angel, but i think u r right when u say that he puts his best behaviour at school etc, how true that is!Plus i've found that the behaviour is not bad all the time , its erratic for a couple of days and then all is well. Thanks for your advice, am sure this could work out well.

Get the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.

Be consistent with YOUR behaviour and what you do in response to your child...and make sure all his family members and caregivers are as well.


Try to spend more one on one time with him and without little brother or caregivers. Read him books and talk to him about what he is learning at school. Classical music can be very calming as well. Look at his diet and make sure he is not sensitive to any food dyes, additives, or that he is not reacting to too much sugar and junk food. Make sure that he is eating healthy foods often and drinking enough water and getting enough sleep.


This too shall pass!

Yeah, i understand that foods have an impact on his behaviour, as his reactions vary depending on what he has eaten. But he is also a very poor and choosy eater and if refused something, simply takes to cryingor just goes ahead with what he has decided. I SERIOUSLY hope this time passes soon. Thanks for the advice.

No, i usually call him close to me and talk to him about what has gone wrong here.That does console him a bit. But luckily, again there are no problems any more.The problems are more so for a week or so in a month maybe.