Please help!!!

My 4 year old son has been going to the same nursery since he was 18 months old without issues. Now after more than 2 years when it's time to say goodbye in the playground he launches into hysteria and clings to my legs. This has been happening every day for the past 7 weeks. I've tried to talk to him about any problems he is having at school but he just says he wants to stay home. We have a 1 year old at home and I could understand if this started when the new baby arrived but after so long.......... does anyone have any ideas?

Have you spoken to his teacher? They might give an insight into something that may have happened at school. Ask how soon he settles after you leave too; it may just be that he'd rather be with you and his sibling. My eldest loves school but still gets jealous of the fact that the younger ones get to have more 'Mummy time'. Often children are not very forthcoming about problems. Mine often claim to 'forget' what happened the moment that they get into the car, and that's even on a routine day with no issues.

I agree with mrsl. There could be something at the school bothering him or he just wants to be with you. If he settles soon after you leave adn is happy when you pick him up I think he is just trying to get back some time with you. He probably realizes that the one year old is getting your attention and since it is not a baby anymore and can actually play and do fun things he wants to be involved as well.


My son does this with most school/playgroup/leaving with friends etc but is quiet and fine about 2 minutes after I leave. I think he just likes to be with me and doesn't want me to think he would be happy doing whatever it is he is doing all the time. He is also very jealous of the 1 year old and his jealousy has gotten worse as she gets older.


I can't give you any direct advice except try to stick to the routine, say a similar thing each time you drop him off and leave quickly wiihtout too much hanging around trying to comfort him. I often remind him of something we will do after I pick him up and see if he remembers when I get him later.


good luck

Thankyou mrsl and Kim11 for your replies. I think you're right on the about being jealous of his brother and yes it seems to be getting worse as the little 1 gets older. I have spoken with his teacher and there doesn't seem to be anything she can see at school and as you say he does settle as soon as I leave the gates. Hope fully this won't last too long. Thanks again.

Try spending more time with him only ,undivided attention .

Just the 2 of you and then slowly start talking to him .

It is amazing how we underestimate children and think that they are not going to understand ,but I always used to talk to my kids a lot , telling them all that we would do , explaining why , and what they were expected to do .Touch wood it worked beautifully since I could always reason with them even when they were little .

Good luck