Posted by
smsm
18 yrs ago
Hi...something similar happened to us when my older daughter was 2 yrs old..my helper who was with us since my baby ws 4mths left...well my daughter too didnt ask for her physically but we knew that she was missing her..well she got extremely attached to me and i was her only support around that time..we got a new helper to which she took to after few weeks but only on peripherial matters like playing tog..the comfort zones were still ard me like feeding her, putting her to bed in the night etc....and the only way it gets better is time....so honestly dont stress out too much ..just give her some time and she will be fine...kids are more adaptable then we give them credit for..
as far as getting old helper back..i would say move on .....if u are not happy with the new helper then its a diff issue..u have to find one which seems right for ur house and baby....
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I would chime in and say that 2 days isn't long enough. You may still be correct that the helper is not right for you but it shouldn't be for that reason.
As for a child of two being fussy and crying until he gets what he wants, it's not surprising in any case. Terrible twos are just like that. Regardless of the helper situation, the important thing is to be kind but firm. Don't let him "win" by crying and whining. It may take months to get past.
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I agree to all the abovementioned.
(1) dont get the previous helper and move on. You said she got an attitude so if you asked her to come back, i think her attitude wl get even bigger. Llet your child learn that he cant get everything he wants in life. This time is the helper but what next?
(2) of course understanding your child's emotions of 'losing' someone that he has been used to, yes be kind but firm
(3) as previously said 2 days is too short to judge I wld say by just your child's reaction, so I think you shld give him and yourself a bit of more time.
(4) no one is perfect and your weakpoints mentioned above about your helper are very very common amongst domestic helpers or anyone. So be prepared that you will come up with new issues with your future helpers.
Good luck.
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China recently created upheaval with visa renewals etc, and our helper had to leave to from one day to another because of this. She'd been with us about 8months and our son (14months old at that time) was very attached to her. in fact he behaved himself more for her than he would for me (not fussing when she changed her nappy, went down quicker for naps etc).
So like you we had to find another helper. we tried a couple before we found someone who's ok, but it took my baby about 3 to 4 weeks to get used to her.
so dont be stressed as your child will just feel all these vibes and it will only make matters worse. jsut be sure and confident and explain that so and so left. if u dont like the current one, get yourself someone else, but do it quickly, without letting baby get attached to yet another person who will then leave.
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Acutally, that said, i dont think two days is too short to see how a child reacts to a person.
My son, who is normally a very sociable being and goes out of his way to go make friendss with people would have nothign to do with one of the first trial replacements. he just clung to me and wouldnt let her anywhere near him.
with our current one, he would interact, play and laugh, but always look around to make sure that i was around.
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SMSM: sent you a PM
Thank you.
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Think of any relationship.
Two days isn't long enough to make an attachment. Hang in there...
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