Posted by
MayC
18 yrs ago
My daughter's turning 4 this September.
At the moment, she goes to bed around 10-10.30pm and wakes up at 7am for school. She takes a 3 hour nap in the afternoon from 2pm-5pm.
In the past, she used to go to bed at 8.30-9pm even after her 3 hour nap from 2pm-5pm.
My question is this... does she still need to nap in the afternoons?
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Two things here.
Going to bed at 10.00 - 10.30pm is not healthy for a kid that age. Far to late by around 2 hours at least.
Secondly have you ever walked into a kindergarten in the afternoon? You will always see a classroom that has little mattresses put out for the kids to sleep. So yes, some kids do still need a sleep in the afternoon.
I think your concern should not be the afternoon nap but the time she goes to bed at night!
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I will chime in and say that an 8 pm lights out time is much better. 10:00-10:30 is far too late for any kid under 14-15. When I was 11 years old I still had a 9pm lights out.
If you ensure she gets enough sleep at night, the nap might disappear entirely. It will in any case be shortened significantly. As for how much longer she will need it, that depends on her. It's not really a problem for a 4 year old quite yet.
One way to ensure she is tired by 8 is to wake her up after 1 hour of nap. Also the last hour before bed should be calm. The last 20-30 minutes should consist of activities like brushing teeth, toilet, bedtime reading.
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I agree with the above comments. Although different people need different amount of sleep, kids need plenty. Actually, according to your shcedule, your daughter requires 12 hours' sleep a day, which is quite a lot. If you gradually cut down the nap time, she'll go to sleep earlier at night and will still be able to get her sleeping-time fulfilled.
Also, regarding bedtime in young children, study has proven that the hours you get (child or adult) before midnight is the most "repairing" sleep, which goes to explaining why, as a uni student (all those years ago) partying until 2am and getting up at noon, I was still a wreck!
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I guess the same point - try to cut her afternoon sleep to get her up earlier and earlier and this should push her bed time to earlier and earlier - try to aim for 8-8.30 the latest - this way she would still get 10.5 - 11 hours a night - this should be enough to go without a nap - or a short 30-45 min one.. 10.30 is far, far too late - i take it you are Chinese? Westerners tend to put their kids to bed much earlier than Chinese in my experience. I think I will stick to 7 (as it is now) will they are 4-5 and then 8 pm till they are 10-12... and NEVER (well untill they start rebelling) later than 9 pm...
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One thing I often see here in HK or in southern Europe is kids going to the mall or to a restaurant with their parents at 8 or 9 in the evening. The poor dears often look exhausted, and then they are asked to sit still at dinner.
Being a parent requires many sacrifices. Giving up dinner outside the home at an "adult" hour is just one of them. But for the sake of my kids I will gladly make that sacrifice.
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Kwis
18 yrs ago
I agree with all the above posters about getting your child to sleep earlier for all the reasons already stated. Another reason (albeit selfish) reason that we get the kids to sleep "early" is that this allows us adults time to do our stuff with no kids underfoot.
[i take it you are Chinese? Westerners tend to put their kids to bed much earlier than Chinese in my experience.]
How does that comment help with advising the original poster? Please, let's NOT generalize here. I am Chinese and my kids go to be no later than 7:30pm. Plenty of other friends who are also Chinese (or other-Asian) are the same and I do have friends who are Westerners whose kids stay up late.
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not in HK, we dont, axptguy! :) - that is the great thing about putting kids to bed at 7 - you can be out for dinner at 7.30!! with the wonderful help of domestic helpers!! :)
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"not in HK, we dont, axptguy! :) - that is the great thing about putting kids to bed at 7 - you can be out for dinner at 7.30!! with the wonderful help of domestic helpers!! :)"
Of course and yes it is nice to have "adult evenings". But I didn't want to assume that everyone has a helper.
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MayC
18 yrs ago
Thank you all for your advices.
I agree that going to bed late is not good for children. I tried to put her to bed early in the past (8-8.30pm) but she refused it because she would only wake up from her nap at 5pm.
We're going to try cutting down on her nap time to 1.5 hours (instead of eliminating it) then putting her to bed at 7.30-8pm at night.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will work! ;-)
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"I tried to put her to bed early in the past (8-8.30pm) but she refused it because she would only wake up from her nap at 5pm. "
Apart from cutting the nap, it is also important to remember that while children may want stuff, you are in charge. Of course it requires they are tired, but it shouldn't be that hard to cut through resistance to early bedtimes.
I also wanted to say that progress will not be instantaneous. Try making the nap 15-20 minutes every day and see what happens.
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MayC - try the stickers rewards - you know if she goes to bed 30 min earlier she gets sticker on her chart - say, 10 stickers = a small present or a treat - she is at the great age for that sort of stuff!!
And of course push the nap to earlier and ealier (not sure how it works with school) but i would say no later than 3 pm, so she is tired again by 8... Good luck!
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MayC
18 yrs ago
Hi Cara and everyone,
I've had mixed successes in the past two days. The first day, it was good. She napped from 2pm-4pm instead of her usual 3 hour nap from 2pm-5pm. We then put her to bed at 8pm and she fell asleep 15 minutes later.
The second day, her dad was home and she didn't nap until 3.30pm, the time he left. Woke up at 5pm. We put her in bed at 8pm and she ended up talking till 9.45pm.
I'm not ready to cut her nap completely but I am trying to shorten her nap times.
Her timing for the first day is quite good for us.
We're going to continue trying this method to see how it goes.
Ideally she goes without her nap and is in bed by 7.30pm latest but I don't think she's ready to have her nap cut.
Cara, are you sure you want to cut his nap completely? He doesn't seem ready for it if he's still falling asleep? ;-) But if this is what you want, I know that with my daughter, a run around the park helps keep her awake or if she goes to Jumping Gym - a ball pit for the kids.
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Cara, indeed, it is a matter or training, you are right. A friend had her gilrs come off daytime nap at 2 yrs old(!) as they would not go to bed at 7-7.30 all of a sudden - she said 2-3 wks and that was it - no nap during the day and they were fine... it is all down to what our bodies are used to. Hang in there!
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First of all, MayC, let me say "nice job" on the first two days. I hope the initial success is a sign of an easy transition.
"The second day, her dad was home and she didn't nap until 3.30pm, the time he left. Woke up at 5pm. We put her in bed at 8pm and she ended up talking till 9.45pm."
This is classic of course with the husband. It is important not to let such factors affect bedtimes. If necessary and possible, husband should stay out of sight way before naptime.
As a husband I speak from experience. I often disappear into the home office so that there is less disruption in the evening.
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MayC
18 yrs ago
I agree with you axptguy38. To ensure minimal disruptions, it is bette for her dad not to be there. Even if he's not in the room, he makes a lot of noise when he's home. The radio's on, the tv's on, he bangs the doors (he claims he doesn't ;-)) etc etc etc.
Well today, my helper and I agreed her nap will be from 2pm-4pm. My helper called to say that she didn't sleep until 3pm. She talked from 2pm-3pm and went to the toilet 3 times. I told her to still wake my daughter up at 4pm. Let's see how it goes tonight. And because she's only had one hour of nap, I am going to try 7.30pm tonight.
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"Even if he's not in the room, he makes a lot of noise when he's home. The radio's on, the tv's on, he bangs the doors (he claims he doesn't ;-)) etc etc etc."
You sound just like my wife. ;) I have improved in 2½ years but I am apparently still a very clumsy ninja.
I would invest in a pair of wireless headphones for your husband. I use headphones all the time to avoid making noise.
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May, she shouldnt really need 2 hours at that age? One hour should be fine! Good luck!
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