Posted by
deena
18 yrs ago
I need some advice on what to do. We sacked our helper one month ago we are waiting to go to tribunal to sort out her pay entitlements, meanwhile our neighbours and their helper have issued a claim to the tribunal that we where inhuman to our helper apparently she told them we didnt feed her !! (which she did cook 3 square meals a day for herself, she was given a food allowance each month and paid above award wages,) anyway as we have been interviewing other helpers they (next door neighbours)have been hassling them not to sign a contract with us and spreading slander, our new helpers have been telling us what is going on. I am very upset and today went next door to tell them to stop spreading lies, the man of the house threatened me with you will get what you deserve. I don't know sort of action to take to make them stop, please advise.
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deena
18 yrs ago
we offered her 1weeks salary, ticket and expenses she was with us for 6months we refuse to pay the one months notice as we are using the summary, clause 11 termination due to misconduct and negligence without notice. I rang the labour department and they said that s what we owed her, she has refused to collect the money. Her salary was 5000 per month does this sound inhumane to you?
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fox88
18 yrs ago
I believe deena was asking about her/his neighbours issue rather than opening herself/himself for the questioning about the treatment given to the DH. Enough with the flag raising of "poor DH's against evil employers".
About your neighbours, since it doesn't look like you will ever be on good terms with them, I would suggest as first option to contact the police, neighbours that behave this way should be put in their place immediately! If he said to you that "you will get what you deserve" it sounds like a "threat" considering his constant behaviour.
There are also elements of harrasment to you and your DH's and dafamation i.e. the lies they spread. If you do involve the police I would recommend you mention those words to them so they will mention to your lovely neighbours.
Don't be surprised if they will show up as witnesses in your tribunal case with your old DH as well.
All the best and good luck.
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deena
18 yrs ago
Thankyou for your support and advice. The police will be involved.
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maxis
18 yrs ago
Deena,
Lawyers in this area are pretty cheap in Hong Kong.
If you have done no wrong, get a local HK lawyer to write to them and have the letter hand-delivered.
Haven't needed to do this in HK, but have before in other country with similar legal system.
Do you have a male friend/husband who can be scary/intimidating?
Sometimes the unwitnessed pragmatic approach is quite effective (but don't do anything or say anything directly threatening or violent, that is illegal and stupid) - just your neighbour's imagination work out what is going to happen to them if they don't repent.
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deena
18 yrs ago
actually the lawyer route sounds more effective, It hurts that this man can lie about us when he has no idea of what we are like as a family or the going ons of our household Just because he married a phillipina helper he rallys behind them whether they are right or wrong and believes in there sneakeness and lies .our new part time helper husband is a senior constable detective , and she is ready to come to our defence as she made me aware of what was going on . All that we have been accused of we have documented evidence that states the opposite. Thankyou everyone for the good advice and support.
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Dear Deena,
What drama! My suggestions are:
The letter from the lawyer is good as far as threats go but it will cost you. Its only really a threat because it sound like you have (to date) little evidence.
Any personal meeting with the wrong doers (slander) should be recorded and transcribed for later use.
Once a reasonable quantity of evidence has been obtained you may file an action in the District Court making sure you quote the exact words that were uttered. Once this is done you can get an injunction ordering them from continuing and spreading the slanderous words. All costs can be recovered if you have reasonable proof.
Threats to you should be recorded and played back to the police. They may well “have a word” with them.
Good Luck,
Christian
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It is a civil issue and the police will not get involved.
You haven't mentioned the exact comments your neighbor has used against you, but it may fall far, far short of actual slander. Also, unless you have slanderous comments and they are spread to third parties, you will not prevail in civil court. They will need more than your claims that these comments were made to third parties; you'll need actual witnesses.
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Have you tried explaining to your neighbour what happened? A lawyer's letter is a nice idea, but a personal letter might be the best way to heal your relations with your neighbour.
It's not as if any of this is any of his business, but it sounds like he misunderstands the situation.
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deena
18 yrs ago
Oh yes, thats why I went over there in the first place to ask him to stop and explain our situation, but he just kept talking over me and did'nt want to listen, it was fruitless and I could'nt be bothered dealing with him. Today I was with my boys when his wife spotted me walking towards my home and she just bolted like a scared rabbit back towards the entrance door, when she realised someone was in her way she pretented to be talking on the phone and hid her face and stood in the corner. It was absolutely pathetic and amused me as she is ashamed to show her face to me yet I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of and actual said "Hello, how are you?"
It is not that they misunderstood the situation it is that They judged us so harshly . I am starting to see the whole thing as humerous as they have made a big fat lie into something to amuse themselves with and believe. It's just ridiculus, we will probably be neighbours for a long time and they hide and sneak around us in the end they are wasting energy, this is no way to live life so it is them suffering not me . Thanks for the advice.
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Neighbour disputes are rarely capable of peaceful resolution - and court action is only likely to exacerbate matters. A threat of legal action which turns out to be empty might just encourage them to be more vociferous and critical. Don't forget that lawyers can seriously damge your wealth. And stressful, expensive and long-winded court proceedings can also damage your health. Is it all worth it? Maybe you should just treat this as a case "sticks and stones". It seems that nothing you could do or say will persuede your neighbours that you have your side of the story to tell as well. A lawyer's letter might quiten them down but it might just inflame matters. Maybe best (as Typhoon sensibly suggests) to send them a personal letter setting out your side of the story and asking them, in the spirit of good neighbourly relations, to stop telling stories about you which are based on pre-judgement and an inadequate knowledge of the facts. Perhaps conclude that you do not wish to be bad friends with them and that you hope you can both put matters behind you. And then just get on with your lives. There are more important things to worry about.
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deena
18 yrs ago
exactly, thankyou for your advice. Since starting this thread we have had closure with our helper at the labour tribunal and are very happy with the outcome a very fair decision was made with someone who was very neglegant. If only our neighbours were there to witness the truth of the situation they are judging, but unfortunetly some people are just happy to think the worst it makes their own life look good perhaps? Even though we have been victimised in a way I do not feel bitter and twisted I still believe that people generally have good hearts . A letter to me would just be too much effort in feeding their egos Why do I have to prove my innocence to them? At the end of the day if people believe in the rumours that is their choice, but I have peace with the fact that I am a very loving humantarian, and thats all that matters.
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bub
18 yrs ago
My helper and we have agreed to let her go, mutually, we have had small problems with her before but we have separate interests , so we are letting her go. But when i did call DH's to come for interviews,she was with my kids in the lobby and sent back 2 girls who were coming up!!!They are seasoned players, and the IQ levels or their behaviours remain the same however smart they show they are....
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