My 17 month old went from being a good, non fussy eater to a very picky eater who has also majorly reduced the types and quantities of food that he will consume.
I've been through the baby books that say keep a chart, offer healthy food choices and that this is a normal phase that many toddlers go through.
also he wants only to self feed, so often cant get enough food into himself (or so it seems to me).
I was also not so worried until I had his weight checked last week. he was never a plump child, but has gone down from weighing 10kilos at 14months to 9 kilos now..
the pediatrician that i took him to in India didnt seem to think that it's a cause to worry, but i cnat help being worried.
how long do these pciky eating phases last, and how to encourage baby to eat more?
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my kid is almost 2.5 years old and weighs about 12kg, my almost 7 month old is a hefty 9.5kg so every kid is different.
they will eat when they are hungry. went through a similar phase and things have improved. first of all, i would cut out ALL SNACKS except maybe a small piece of fruit in the afternoon. it is understandable (been there done that) to cave in and give big snacks to make up for a poorly eaten main meal but it will make the actual mealtimes even harder. i wouldn't tank him up on milk either.
secondly, do not expect your child to eat super well for every meal every day. give him a solid breakfast, a good lunch and you can relax about dinner when they are tired and not too keen on eating.
finally, he is 17 months old, he will have a mind of his own about the food he likes. while it's important for him to eat healthy, you can't expect him to enjoy every meal that's been prepared. mine hates chicken but would eat salmon, which i see as a stronger tasting.....but they are kids, who knows what they are thinking!!!
good luck :)
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not sure if you've already tried this, our 18 mth also started his self-feed phase. Instead of using his baby bowls & spoons, we switched to the same cereal bowls & spoon that mommy & daddy use for breakfast, ie. white ceramic bowl & a small stainless steel spoon. We would then split his meal in 2 separate bowls, 1 for him to stir around and the other 1 for us to feed him from. You can get in quite a few bites in b/t his own attempts as he is concentrating & "forgets" you are feeding him. He has also gone off his straw bottle for drinking and only wants to drink it without the top on or from our adult glasses, which he manages fine except we are always changing him out of wet t-shirts! Guess all they want to do is to grow up and be like us.
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thanks all for your answers, i just got snowed under at work...
cara, only 1 kilo difference between your daughter and son? wow! yes i know that babies dont starve themselves, but on occasion its so hard not to get upset when lo eats little at breakfast, lunch and dinner..
high calorie foods are a bit difficlut as his favourite foods are steamed tofu and boiled carrots!
wheelymate: we rty to avoid the snacks, reducing milk intake is another story however as he starts getting cranky due to an empty stomach and sugar lows and a bottle of milk puts things right quickly.
you are totally right about them having a mind of their own about likes and dislikes.. he will actually chew a pc of ginger, but not a biscuit.
mumbloxy, that worked for about a week, now nothing distracts him! he'ss very decided on what he will eat and what he wont eat. and yes, he wants to eat using adult forks, not the kiddy ones. u are right, they do want to grow upa nd be like us
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Kim11
18 yrs ago
I stuff food into my daughter's mouth with my finger while she is trying to feed herself. She is very slight at 16months where my son was a monster at this age. Can you try to offer something he likes, like carrots before he gets too hungry then really wants milk, then add other things while he is feeding himself the carrots.
I don't think it is something to worry about but have to remember to feed my daughter before she is too hungry. She eats small amounts all day long, and sometimes of similarfood all day. Keep offering all the choices and he will surprise you one day. My very picky 3 year old did- he now eats carrots and peas as vegetables!
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Kim11, i do try to put food in as much as possible.
i've tried to restructure his eating schedule so that we can better predict when he will be hungry etc.
Friday really seemed a turning point and he actually asked for more food and then threw up five times : ((
has eaten nothing during the weekend so it's off to the ped's office today...
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hi all - I'm glad (??) to know that picky eaters are common amongst toddlers. i have a picky 2 year old who will eat when hungry but that's VERY rare. In fact I think that even if she's hungry and doesnt like the food she just WONT EAT IT!!!
if i feed her she wont eat, if she feeds herself she doesnt eat enough as its all done her clothes, she will eat bean curd, fruits and tomatoes, and brocolli, hairy gourd but she's not keen on carbohydrates or meat.
my duaghter is small framed toddler and is 10.8 kg. Her height is above the 50% but her weight is a bit below (always has been).
her schedules are generally like this:
breakfast 9am
mid morning milk 11am (cow's milk)
lunch 1230-1pm
mid afternoon milk 3-4pm (formula)
dinner at 630-7pm
milk before bedtime 830-9pm (formula)
i'm beginning to think that maybe i should drop the mid morning milk or change it to something like fruit (which is not filing) so that she will eat more at lunch. but then if i drop her milk how can i continue to give her daily 15oz milk. ive read that toddlers should have several small meals during the day to keep up energy levels but if i do this she doesnt eat much at lunch or dinner.
i'm still giving formula since she is such a picky eater i'm worried that she doesnt get enough of her calcium, iron, vitamins, protein etc. I know that perhaps expats drop the forumula by one yr and jsut give cow's milk. as i'm influenced by chinese culture i'm told to continue giving formula. i'm not confident to dropw the formula due to these "influences" but if someone can tell me that it's nothing to worry about then i can drop formula completely and just give cow's milk as a drink once a day I'm not harming my daughter's develpment I would appreciate it so much. Or just any experience sharing or advice would be grateful!
i know my daughter prefers to use the adult spoons, forks etc. but i just think they are too big to get into her mouth and also isnt anyone worried about the sharp forks and throwing the crockery on the floor? i do sort of both, kiddy stuff and adult cutlery but hate the forks and ceramic ware.
i'm told picky eaters could go on until 5 years old! I hope not!!!
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Way to go cara. I bet it will go "better" next time. He just didn't want to lose face. Since you didn't want to back down... ;) As I like to say, there's no way I'm going to lose a showdown with a two year old!
"i figure what better way to learn not to swing htem around than have her hit herself in the head a couple of times?"
"you need to realise, and it can be difficult, that your little one is now 2 years old and needs to learn how to do these things and behave properly. if she is only ever given unbreakable things, how will she learn? i wouldn't give her anything expensive to eat from, but some old plates etc wouldn't hurt anything. if she's in a highchair still, then even if she breaks it, you can still clean up under the chair before you let her out."
Agreed. "Softening" the environment for kids too much just legitimizes their behavior. Real discipline and manners are tougher, but once you're over the hump the rewards are great for both child and adults.
Both our daughters started with real adult water glasses around 13-14 months. Only one has ever broken and it was a total accident. At around 2, we started #1 on small versions of adult cutlery. A bit blunter fork, but real metal stuff. Adults cutlery is not bad in itself but their hands aren't quite big enough yet.
Forks can be introduced around 14-16 months. It's mostly about motor skill development.
We use plastic plates mostly because the Baby Bjorn plates have a funky shape that makes spooning stuff up much easier.
#1 now even teaches #2 table manners, pours her water, etc etc. She wants to emulate us and with some supervision it works very well.
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Classic.
I am constantly amazed at parents who do not follow through. Many seem afraid of their children's reactions. It's like, why are you afraid of your two year old crying and being mad at you? Surely you can win that psychological battle? He/she is two for crying out loud! It's not as if kids stay mad either.
I haven't read the much publicized "Nation of Wimps" but apparently one of the chief theses in the book is that many modern parents are obsessed with removing any possible obstacles to their childrens' happiness. Unfortunately this also seems to include things like discipline and normal childhood adversity. I would ask how can be happy without challenges. http://www.nationofwimps.com/
"i even warn them that i am turning into a dragon lady now and they immediately stop whatever it is they are doing"
Does fire come out out your mouth? ;) My wife has a similar mode. Our kids grow instant halos when she becomes the "avenging goddess of thunder".
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Hi flowers-daffodil, don't be so influenced by what you read, every child is different. I am still wondering why my son isn't snacking all day like all toddlers "should". He just has 3 very solid meals + an afternoon snack. You didn't mention how much milk your little one is drinking, but it sounds like a lot for 2 yrs old? Try cutting back on the milk for mid-morning & afternoon. In my son's case, I give him 6 oz formula + milk with Weetabix mixed with fruit for breakfast. This lasts him through lunch. For afternoon snack, it is either yogurt, cottage cheese (these you can add fruits if that's what she likes), cheese on toast, veggy cheese sticks (very easy to make with breadcrumbs, egg, cheese, and veg) or sweet tofu. This is equivalent to milk intake and at their age, I think they are more than ready to have real foods instead of milk. After dinner & before bedtime, he gets another 9 oz formula. Maybe my son has a better appetite than yours, but give it a try with introducing snacks, they will not starve and will eat if they are hungry. good luck.
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cara is right.
Kids don't starve themselves and will seek the nutrients they need. There is no real danger of malnutrition as long as you offer a balanced diet. If they need a particular nutrient they will almost instinctively go for the food item containing it. It is also important to note that malnutrition doesn't happen overnight. It takes days and weeks of deprivation for a missing nutrient's effects to be felt. Think for example of children who are sick and cannot eat for a few days. They don't keel over from lack of some trace element. If baby doesn't eat milk for a few days nothing much will happen.
You can also give supplements if you are worried.
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I have enjoyed this thread so much and all credit to the Eat What's Put In Front Of You approach.
I remember being a picky eater until I was 11. There were no rows about it in our house. I used to pull a disgusted face and say, "I don't want this." My mother used to calmly reply, "Well don't eat it then," and carried on with her own food.Nothing else was offered so I could take it or leave it.
I went through the same experience with both my boys. They ate everything until around 2, when they seemed to live on fresh air. One thing I did notice though - if I provided a large portion, they wouldn't even touch it - it seemed as if they were overfaced by the volume of food they were expected to consume. If I gave them a small amount, they were more willing to try at least.
Now, they can clear the fridge between them in a matter of minutes and still feel hungry. So don't worry.
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"One thing I did notice though - if I provided a large portion, they wouldn't even touch it - it seemed as if they were overfaced by the volume of food they were expected to consume. If I gave them a small amount, they were more willing to try at least."
Quite true. My daughters do the same. We prefer to refill the plate or glass 2-3 times than face them with a megaportion all at once.
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mine just had a nasty attack of gastroenteritis, that lasted a week, throwing up, diarrhea, then lactose intolerance because of the diarrhea, so after a few days of zero intake and ped put him on apetitie enhancing medication. this was for about three days. baby then went through a phase where he started eating four meals a day and drinking 400ml of milk at nihgt and during the day. Now his weight is back up (i think, cos he just looks healthier) and he's eating normally.
Has taken a big liking for Congees with salmon/beef/veggies, spciy hunanese food (specially broccoli) pork sapre ribs and still likes tof. So for the moment mine is not being picky.
who knows how long this will last.......
i think i need to learn to be like austria's mum. will work on it!
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Side track a bit... when do your kids start to self feed himself? I read all about the table manners and mealtime behaviours etc etc. and I'm starting to worry. Mine is almost 2 but he is only able to self feed a few spoons and then he got distracted the rest of the meal...
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mine started about three months ago. he's getting quite good at putting food in his mouth with a spoon, pasta, congee, oats etc. For the meat i cook it with the bone so he holds the bone and eats off it.
manners.. yes that's a really war... mine gets taken out of high chair when he starts throwing things like the bone, his strw cup on the floor. but it's not easy. he doesnt see why he's encouraged to throw a ball but not other things..
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Goddness, oh I'm filled with envy. Mine is able to put food into his mouth, for the first few bites. Then he loses interest in it and I can't just leave him like that so I have to top him up with the rest. I don't know when he's starting to feel more patient in eating his food. Let alone discipline and table manners... any ideas?
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"Side track a bit... when do your kids start to self feed himself? I read all about the table manners and mealtime behaviours etc etc. and I'm starting to worry. Mine is almost 2 but he is only able to self feed a few spoons and then he got distracted the rest of the meal..."
9-10 months they are able to grab simple things and miss the mouth. 11-12 they can get some of it. By 15-17 months they can eat a whole plate of soft stuff or a yogurt pot with a spoon. Or things like fruit pieces. By 14 months they can drink out of a real glass. You can introduce a blunt fork at 15-16 months too, as long as the stuff is easy to spear (kiwi and mango pieces are good).
The important thing is to accept the mess. They will miss, they will spill. That's fine. After a few months they get much neater. Don't accept playing with food, but understand that their motor skills are still quite rudimentary. If you wait until they are good enough to do all the right things, they may no longer be interested in learning.
"Goddness, oh I'm filled with envy. Mine is able to put food into his mouth, for the first few bites. Then he loses interest in it and I can't just leave him like that so I have to top him up with the rest. I don't know when he's starting to feel more patient in eating his food. Let alone discipline and table manners... any ideas?"
Well, it's all about motivation. If you top him up there is no incentive to learn. Much more fun to get mommy's full attention and let her feed me. Be a bit tougher on him. Try to do "every other spoon". Or fill the spoon but require him to grab it and feed himself. Move gradually to full self feeding.
The kids won't starve to death if he doesn't eat enough for a few meals. In fact that will provide just the motivation required.
Another important thing is to eat together. Even if your plate just has a few pieces on it he will feel part of the meal ceremonial, and want to emulate you.
"my 18m girl REFUSES to let us help feed her... she screams bloody murder until we give her a fork/spoon. then she's quite content. if she starts playing we remove the fork/spoon and tell her not to do whatever it is she's done. then we give the utensil back to her. occasionally, we put another mouthful in when she's concentrating on something else."
Your daughter sounds like the twin of our daughter. ;)
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I have loved reading this thread.My little girl is 23 months and sounds the same as your daughters - some meals she will eat a lot but for the rest, she just picks. I don't worry about it now as I know she eats what she needs, there is a real danger when parents try to force feed kids that they wil have a tendancey to overeat in later years.
As for self-feeding, she is adament that she will feed herself and we have no chance of helping her at all. She has been like this since 16months. I think boys tend to be a bit lazier on this and are happy to be fed by a adult from time to time.
We also instituted the 'eat the same meal' rule when our daughter was 1 year old. She eats the same meals as Mummy and Daddy or not at all. This has worked well for us as we travel a lot so she has been offered (and enjoyed) a wide variety of food. This seemed totally natural to us so I was amazed when one of my friends was still pureeing veg for her daughters meal at 18 months and specially preparing foods for her. Kids do go through picky phases but by accomodating them you make for picky adults.
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