Sleeping pattern for 7 month-old?

Hi all,


Our baby is turning 7 months soon but for the last few days has become very cranky at night when tired and will not sleep when rocked, put into crib or any other way. I ahve just put her into bed now after rocking and lots of tears and my husband thinks i am spoiling her by rocking her but i can't bear it when he cries so much that she starts coughing and wheezing. During the day, she will sleep by herself when placed in the pram with a blanket but it just seems like night times are nightmarish. Any suggestions or advice? I know many people don't agree with rocking but we have rocked her since the day she was born and she doesn't actually like it much during the day anymore but should i cut it out altogether? Am i spoiling her? She's still a baby to me.

Our kid at that age slept 10/24 hours on average -- and most of that in 20-30 min chunks. Now she is 21 months, and sleeps 12-13/24 on average, mostly at night with an hour nap after lunch. Some things that helped her:


1. Regular schedule. We went military precision at first.

2. Going to bed rituals. Including bath & sleepytime CD.

3. Not letting her get too exhausted -- more daytime sleep and early bedtime.

4. Having somebody other than Mama putting her to bed at night.


This all being said, if it's a sudden change there are lots of things that can interrupt kids good sleeping patterns. For us, developmental advancement is a big one, and very unfortunately, so is the absence of any of her most loving adults [Mama, Papa, Ayi] for more than one day at a time.


And that being said, spoiling a child is a multifactoral process, not something that will hinge on rocking vs not rocking at night. Probably best for your marriage if you and your husband to get on the same page on a childrearing philosophy sooner rather than later. Not trying to imply any trouble there, just that kids, money and sex are the top 3 things couples fight about in general...

Agreed with what Z said. Good points.



"I know many people don't agree with rocking but we have rocked her since the day she was born "


Babies change. Just because it always worked doesn't mean it always will. Before around 6 months babies do not manipulate. Above that point it is possible to spoil them. Not that she is a full blown Machiavelli put it is certainly her instinct to wring maximum advantage out of you. Give lots of love, but do not let her run the show.


You seem to think that letting her cry it out is somehow a bad thing. It is not, at least not in itself. She needs to learn to control her temper. Much easier to teach her now than when she is two.


If you let her cry it out it she will figure it out after a few days or a few weeks and stop the crying. If you let her know that she can cry and you will stay, she'll keep crying. You are rewarding the behavior. And this is only the first time. Even if you "fix" the problem, it will come back periodically.



"I ahve just put her into bed now after rocking and lots of tears and my husband thinks i am spoiling her by rocking her but i can't bear it when he cries so much that she starts coughing and wheezing."


It think the truth is not so black and white. You are just trying to comfort her. This is not really consciously spoiling but can have that effect. You need to think about the long term effects of this comforting. She will survive some couching and wheezing. Heck, many kids cry until they faint. This is completely normal. Learning is often a painful process.


You need to accept that she will sometimes cry. You must, or pretty soon she will consciously use tears to blatantly manipulate you. Many many parents are in this situation. Do not be afraid of their tears.

Actually, axptguy38 precisely illustrates my point about getting on the same page with your husband about how you want to raise this child. The "cry it out" vs "no-cry" solutions to baby sleep are both valid -- neither one is empirically better than the other, neither one is likely to result in an end-all-be-all solution to the problem, and the middle ground is clearly the worst solution of all.


But yes, it is important that at some point in the very near future she learns that crying does not get her what she wants in every situation, and that the adults in her life are in charge of giving her consistent responses. It is perfectly fine to comfort her when she is crying, but you need to be sure that her crying doesn't modify your expectations. As in, "I know that you are upset that I took the [dangerous object x] away from you. I still love you very much. Dangerous object x is not for babies."

While I am personally a proponent of "cry it out", I have to agree with Z about consistency being the paramount consideration. The important thing is that everyone in the household is consistent and does the same thing. For example having one adult "rescue" the baby from another is the worst thing you can do. This is true at 7 months and becomes ever more important as baby is older. 2 year olds used to pitting parents against each other are instinctively manipulative and make everyone's life hell.



"It is perfectly fine to comfort her when she is crying, but you need to be sure that her crying doesn't modify your expectations."


Very very well said.



This stuff isn't easy mind you. The important thing is not just to react, but think through and discus a course of action before the crying happens. Also keep talking about it and adjust as needed. Otherwise you let the enemy, ahem baby, have the tactical initiative.

Babies needs consistency and if she is sleeping in the pram during the day, she may not recognize her cot as a place of sleep at night. Start with day time naps in her cot and gradually reduce the parental intervention of rocking etc.

If baby is cranky at bedtime maybe you need to review her schedule and introduce an earlier bedtime before she is is over tired.


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"Babies needs consistency and if she is sleeping in the pram during the day, she may not recognize her cot as a place of sleep at night."


Well, that depends. We always did one nap in the stroller and one in the crib. Consistency works in quirky ways too. ;)

could she be teething? did you check her gums?