Great parenting decisions

What are some of the best parenting decisions that you have made? Small things that have had a big ripple effect, grand philosophical ideas, things that make you particularly proud... in short, anything that you did that helped make your kid the best one on the playground.


For example, one of the things that makes me really proud is having my daughter to ask for "help, please" almost as soon as she started to talk. Several months later, as I see her beginning to melt down in frustration I can say "use your words, pumpkin" and she stops for a second, calms herself down somehow, and says "help, please." Of course, at this point, it is sometimes comical to try to figure out what bee has gotten into her bonnet, but at least once a day we divert a tantrum into a teaching moment or a "let's do that together" moment.

I'll have to share credit with my wife for this stuff:


- Not accepting whining, to the point of making my daughter really angry many times when she had to talk properly to get what she wanted.


- Helping the kids learn to feed themselves early (15-18 months) and insisting that they continue. Of course we often help as well.


- Encouraging the children to help with washing dishes, folding laundry and cleaning.


- Not accepting any hitting, biting or yelling.


- Encouraging books and toys; playing with our kids. Not actively encouraging (but not forbidding) television. Nowadays our little ones seldom even want to watch TV. They prefer to play with their (non electronic) toys and whatnot.


- Reading to our kids. Even at 16 months, our #2 loves to pick up a book and leaf through it.


- Encouraging our kids to shrug off minor scrapes and bruises. We don't demand them to be stoic but a minor bump should not necessitate 5 minutes of hugs. A simple "I know it hurt but if you walk it off you'll feel better" works. Of course if child is seriously hurt we give them their due attention. A nice side effect is that our kids seldom even cry when they get injections or blood tests. We tell them "this will hurt, but you have to stay still. It's ok to cry. Just hold my hand." I mean crying is fine (needles hurt), but hysteria is not helpful.


To expand on the pain bit, I am appalled when I see 4-5 year olds who hurt themselves just a little, look around for mommy and start wailing as soon as she looks their way. Mommy then goes and fusses over them for 5 minutes. All that should be needed is a little kiss/blowing on the injury, a little "magic gesture" and it goes away. My 2 year old knows that. If the kids can't take a little pain, how is she going to cope if she breaks her arm or when her first boyfriend dumps her?