Full day school instead of helper

Hi,


I'm just wondering if anyone's doing this. Eg. sending their kindergarten children to full day school instead of hiring a helper?


Any comments would be appreciated.

Due to the preponderance of helpers, sending kids to full day daycare of the Western stripe is uncommon among expats. There are schools with full day programs but everyone I've heard sending their kids there still has a helper.


In my opinion a good helper is far better than full day kindergarten. Very healthy for the kids. Having said that, there's no inherently bad choice here. If the kindergarten is good the children will be just fine.


Some points:

- A helper is cheaper than full time kindergarten, and can do more than take care of the children.

- A good helper will ensure that your kids play and interact with other kids. There tends to be a whole helper sub-society (I call it the Helper Mafia) that organizes play dates and such of its own accord.

- A good helper will foster the children according to your parenting ideals. In our case this includes reasonable discipline, fun and instructive games, helping out with cooking, cleaning, dish washing and laundry, teaching them to use their imagination and intellect.


Many parents, typically Western ones, are afraid that the helper will somehow push them away as parents. That's really not true. If the parents feel alienated and less loved, they're not being good parents in the first place. My wife is gone all day. The kids adore our helper. But when mommy comes home she is the only person they care about.

i must admit i was totally afraid of my son getting glued to our helper. he does loves her but when i come home from work, my god, he is just all over me!!! it just warms my heart. :)

i regards to full time day school: i think a lot of people do a combination of both helper and some form of "school" either half days or alternate days or just a few hours a week. it's a healthy balance for everybody involved. :)

"i must admit i was totally afraid of my son getting glued to our helper."


A completely normal worry, but somewhat unfounded. If your son loves your helper, thank your lucky star! Imagine if your son disliked the helper! Our kids adore out helper, and we are very happy to see that. She teaches them many things that we don't know anything about. She is an excellent "parent" and has many great suggestions. Heck, she's done it for 10-15 years with many different children. We've only been at it for 2½ with two kids. ;)


Children don't ration love. They have an almost endless capacity for it. Western society imprints on us that a "normal" family is two parents and children. But that is hardly the case everywhere. Grandparents living in, helpers, communes, tribal villages. All these are also normal. I remember in Polynesia how kids in the village would be parented communally. The kids would love their parents, but also their neighbors, etc etc...


All fostering individuals, whether they be parents, foster parents, grandparents, older siblings, helpers, teachers or whatnot, can play a part in a child's life. But the fact that a child has more than the parents does not make that child love his/her parents a bit less.

Among xpats full-day nursery/ kindy is not very common, but many do use it in the wider HK community at the local kindergartens. Most of the well-known chinese kindergartens offer a full-day programme, and since you can receive the gov't supplement for fees, the cost is a lot less than a full-time helper. But this assumes one is able to collect the child by about 5 - 5:30. The programme is usually quite standard kindy plus meals, nap period and more extended play than in the 1/2 day. Families who use full-day kindy usually have a p/t helper on the side.... but often a local helper rather than from overseas.