This early morning I saw a thread called "Affair... with a married guy", I really wanted to write on it but I was busy, so I tried to find it now and I coudn't... so please if you are the person that posted that thread (DKWTD), or someone in the same situation, I have a question for you:
I’m really interested in your reply as I have a friend in your same situation;
Please, please help me, tell me, what can I say to her to make her understand that she has to break with him immediately??
How can I make her realize what an absolute nonsense living this fake-relationship is??
I know that at this point after nearly 4 years (like you…) she doesn’t have a lot of self-esteem left... I think she has, already since long time, a depression and or psychic issues and an eating disorder too… as, of course, after keeping seeing a married person for so long which doesn’t have any respect for you (don’t fool yourself, he doesn’t) keeping this situation for so long makes you (and her) end up loosing all respect for yourself also… sad, very sad, but just true..
And at this point after soooo long I just whish I could have these “magic words” that could open her eyes at last…
Please, reply me…
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Ed
17 yrs ago
Sorry but we have removed this discussion at the request of one of the parties involved...
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hkviu
17 yrs ago
Hi JustAFriend,
I also have a friend which is having an affair (even if she calls it “relationship”) with a married guy for almost 4 years.
I wish there could be “magic words”. I’ve tried to speak with her, but I only got bitterness, and had to listen the same sentences that DKWTD writes, like “we’ve made plans together”, “when we are together, I know he loves me”, “he’s not having sex with the wife anymore” (sounds strange because they are trying to have kids) . Now she’s bitter with the world (except him).
Until now I use to see her like the perfect friend, but on the other side, I keep asking myself, how would I call someone who’s having an affair with my husband. Easy answer, right?
At least you are lucky that your friend has a bit of self-esteem, because mine, lost it long time ago.
The worst, is that her dream would be to have kids with him. How can someone dream about having kids with a man like him?? Good husband, sure not. Good father, neither.
He doesn’t deserve her (even if he told her that he was married and he would never leave the wife because the vows – I guess the emotion during ceremony only allowed him to hear “till death…” and not “ the “fidelity” part-), but he also doesn’t deserve her wife.
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JustAfriend and hkviu, how come both of you suddenly have friends in such similar situations??
You both did not write when the thread was on for 20 days! Just curious.
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hkviu
17 yrs ago
Maybe because UNFORTUNATELY there are too many woman like you situation that have affairs with our husbands??
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Oh, come on woman, get out of this blaming mode!
Your these loving "our" husbands are not to blame?? When they go out seeking other women to fulfil their desires???? No woman is forcing them to have affairs!!
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hkviu
17 yrs ago
You are right, "our" husbands do not leave us because they are only looking for sex, once done, they come back. (quite sad to realize that he only wants this from you).
Some woman can not fulfil their desires, and some men prefer woman that fulfil their desires without need to pay at the end of the session.
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Yes I agree.
How sad that these women don't realize they are just toys for these men who will eventually be discard them
Yes the men are to blame but so are the women!!!!!!
Good luck with your dirty little affair..
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I'm sorry everyone else but that comment made my blood boil.
She obviously has no morals and no feelings!!!!
Women don't force them!!! No you might not force them but you bloody try your best to steal them...
What's the bet you met your man in wan chai!!
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FKKC
17 yrs ago
Hey la-vie-est-belle.....In that case, why did you sign a contract and commit yourself to eat ONLY mango in the first place. A contract is binding to be fulfilled or else don't sign one - it's that simple. If for whatever reason, you came to the conclusion that eating others fruits is more to your liking, then break the contract and you are free to eat whatever you like. That's how it should work!!!
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sicn
17 yrs ago
FKKC is absolutely right. la-vie-est-belle, if you want to do what monkey does, be a monkey and don't pretend to be a human. If you want to be in between, at least be fair, just imagine how many and how much you enjoy each p*((y, your wife get the same or more from your brothers since she might have more time and oppotunities. Not trying to be rude. But once you start the game, and that is how it will play.
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hkviu
17 yrs ago
la-vie-est-belle, if it is so normal, did you told your wife that you are following such a balanced and healthy diet?
If you have kids, please don't be their nutritionist and do not show them which diet they have to follow!
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Dear Zonked
No frustrations just extreme joy in brief 2h meeting in love hotels or smiling walks in the jungle when my wife is on business trip, her husband works 7 days a week.
May be if we would be more than secret the magic would disapear melted in the ususal money work mortgage problems, may be not.
Viciousness, yes!
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sicn
17 yrs ago
hkviu
haha....
I just hope the original poster will read this and she will understand what is really inside the menue of an affair with a married man.
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FKKC
17 yrs ago
Ha ha ha........I cannot stop laughing when reading what hkviu has written and scrolling down another one by sicn...ha ha ha and as I am typing this in respond to you both, I suddenly feel very sad as I am also listening to a song 'I wonder who's kissing her now' by Dean Martin.
What's happening to this world......there used to be real love, good moral standard and willing responsibility.
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Hi @ll,
Thanks a lot for your comments, this ‘mixed fruits’ conversation is just hilarious!!
But could someone go back to the starting point and let me know what would you tell to your friend if you wanted her to understand that she has to stop the affair with the married man??
Any ‘magic words’ there?? C’mon, I’ve noticed reading your comments that you don’t lack of imagination!! :)
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Ed
17 yrs ago
Please note this is a Women ONLY forum
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ww08
17 yrs ago
I find it hard to believe that maybe when the girl first met "the married man"...that he may have not told her!. I have had many friends who have ended up in this situation, by no fault of their own.
So before fingers are pointed straight to the SINGLE female, who is in the wrong in the first place!
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my close friend back in php had this weird "just sex" relationship with a guy.. it started before the guy got married with his wifey.. he was engaged then and was a guidance councilor in our university.. it went on for about 5 years.. and during one of my home leaves she went near breaking point. she fell for the guy and i think the guy loves her too.. but the guy went on to get married with his gf and they had a kid less than a year later.. she didnt get her clousre immediately..
it was devastating to my friend... she lost a lot of self confidence... the worst was she got so depressed that she even contemplated commting suicide.. it was a lucky break that i was there to support her... it took a lot from her to get over feelings... she eventually got closure..
now the guy, went on radio silence as in no form of communication for about a month... and started to chase her again... and all those feelings of my friend resurfaced...
now the guys marriage is on the rocks... and they are kinda back together... for the occasional sex....
its not fun... the girl is seting her self u for heartache and nothing else.. even if its just sex...
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