Posted by
kiwi-lj
18 yrs ago
Hi
I just got out of a long distance relationship, wanna know what you guys think about it?? any success out there? perhaps like my friends say i should date someone in taiwan, not in overseas.
what are your thoughts?
and what does it mean if a man say cos i care about you too much and the distance is killing me, so we have to break up (well not exactly these words. but the essence of it.) to me, that's a load of crap.
cheers
have a great weekend.
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sicn
18 yrs ago
I had a LDR for about 2 years. Bad things happened during that time. Ended up that I had to quit my job and moved myself to marry him to make things work. In my expereince, LDR, if you don't have to have it, don't.
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Hi Sicn
Thanks for your advice. Why is it it's always the women that compromise? From what i've been through and what i've seen so far, I think women tend to give more thoughts into relationships than men.
Men can just step away from the relationship, switch it off just like that??? he told me that he can't handle LDR anymore. When I was having second thoughts before he told me not to give up on us, and then he told me he can't deal with LDR anymore. It was really sad to hear him saying that. better off without LDR?? somehow it still hurts, i guess life goes on :) we should just have fun and enjoy ourselves right?
so do you think it's worth it? moving to QZ to be with him??
LDR is hard. >__<
Kiwi-lj
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Hi Kiwi-lj,
LDR is danger, as it tells from all the experience.
Think about the GAME is over, imagine that What the worst is, and you can or cannot handle?
It is not a pure binary system, relationship built-up by both side..
Wish all GOOD to You.
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Hi MakarpuraStar,
How true! It's not a pure binary system - but if both party are willing to work it out, wouldn't it be worth it?? I know I should try to stay away from it. I wasn't into the LDR at first, somehow got hooked into it.
I"m just going to try to have as much fun as possible. No more thinking about dating for a while, just friends and family. Need time to heal :)
Thank you.
kiwi-lj
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tia
18 yrs ago
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/women-only/threads/79922/ldrs-part-2/
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/women-only/threads/112254/ldrs-part-3/
They can work. It's NOT easy, but they can work. You have to be committed and ready for almost anything. I am leaving HK at the end of this contract to live with my husband. Been together 5 years, married almost 2, have not yet lived together.
And yes, the "I love you but the distance is killing me" line to me sounds like crap. I've had moments that have been too hard in the last 5 years, but I stuck it out and I'm glad I did.
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Hi Liza
Thank you. I'll try to steer clear of LDR! I wasn't looking for a way out of my current situation.
Tia, five years of LDR! my gosh! Congrats :) ^___^
back to work :)
thanks guys.
kiwi-lj
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ilu
18 yrs ago
hey kiwi-lj, i just gone thru what you exp.
my bf ended the relationship after 2mths i was away from nz
if he wants to end a relationship which means he does not want to be with you anymore, its not the distance, its abt him....he wants you out of his life
i went back to dunedin and talked to him
tried to save our relationship, i told him i'll quit my job here and move back to nz
but the answer is NO.......he said he is not ready for a committed relationship and he is too young to settle and he only wants to responsible one's feelings but mine so yeah whatever EXCUSES a man tried to give, are all lies......
truth is.....he does not LOVE u anymore and he found someone better
its not worth it to move to Qz and give up ur job for him!!!
i am sure you will find a better guy in the near future
you got to move on and put him behind....its easy to say but hard to do i know
i took a lot of efforts to go thru that kind of craps and here i am
i am seeing someone and enjoying my life here
trust urself and be good to urself, not to give up anything for him
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Hi Ilu,
I'm trying to enjoy myself now :) life goes on. He's not in NZ by the way (he's not in my area either) :) but that's besides the point.
Anyway, going out clubbing, listening to live bands, enjoying friends' companies, shopping, pampering myself: doing all these to get on with my life.
yes, we both need to get on with our lives :)
good luck~
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ilu
18 yrs ago
good on ya!!!
we girls shall stand up and enjoy ourselves but waste time for the Dumb Ass :P
i thought you were live in HK actually
otherwise we can hang out :P
heeeeee.....anyway, take care and good luck with ur man hunt!!!
if u ever visit hk, i'll get u some nice french guys heeee :)
they are actually much different from what i thought they are....
have a nice day sweetheart
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no i'm actually in taipei ^___^. yes~ it would be nice to hang out :) well.. if you ever drop by in taipei, let me know~ i'll show you around taipei and eat all these yummy food :) and out clubbing :) there's this lounge bar i like to go to listen to live bands :)
french guys? :P :) hahaha :) ^___^ well, if i go to hk i'll let u know :) who knows perhaps a holiday romance is what we both need!? :)
back to work~ :)
ciao sweetie :)
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ilu
18 yrs ago
haaa......yeah.......keep lives positive is the thing we girls need!!!
i was actually planning to visit Taiwan last month but then i got hold up by many things plus the expensive airfare...its harder than ever nowadays to travel as the oli price keeps going up and up. and its even harder to travel during public holiday... :P sigh....... i was meant to visit Vietnam, but it costs way too much for only 2 days, costs to Vietnam for 2 days is pretty much how much i spent for my oneway ticket back to nz....wowoww.....its unbelivable....
i'll definitely give ya a yell if i plan to visit.... and its not too far from my plan as i am going to quit my job for another couple of months, fed up with it :P i'll PM u my email address or add me on facebook...heee
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Hi ilu :)
got your email :). YES! When you're in Taipei, let me know but give me plenty of time to arrange things :P :) I even teach during weekends~ yeah i know~ can't help it, i'm a private teacher so I teach on Saturday and Sunday too :) but times are flexible I can rearrange my schedules when you come here :)
talk to u later on msn :)
cheers~
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Hi Kiwi,
My advice, if you have started LDR, try to keep the relationship for your best! If you have not even starting, please do not start, do not limit the opportunity between you and him. By the way, lady is not the only one sacrify at last if the LDR doesn't work. Sometimes men do compromise!
I had 5 yrs LDR, now is still going on.
I always tell myself, hard time never last, but tough ppl do!
Good lucks!
Cheers~
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Hi Sanchez,
Good to hear there are some people whose LDR work!! :=) 5 years! Gosh! Keep it up :=)
I didn't look for LDR before, my Xs started it actually, but yes I agree with you, I'm going to try to steer away from it, no more LDRs for me :)
Have fun in Shanghai :)
cheers
lana
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hahaha :P got up too darn early in the morning! :P kiwi-jj :P
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Hi Gill,
I guess you were right, absolutely agree with you!
Wish you have a great life always! :)
Cheers~
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Both parties have to talk and work out acceptable rules for communicating, dating or social activities, and sex. Both parties must be truthful about their needs and their partners and agree. I have had a bad relationship where we both were sneaking around and not honest and it blew up. I know have great relationship where we have discussed and agreed upon certain ground rules (including sex) and it seems to be working. Your right lonfg distance is really hard.
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It's work for me and my husband, we've been married for 14.5 years and before that we've been in LDR for almost 3 years. Trust and love is the most important things in relationship... Good luck.
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LDR work or didn't work for some people here. We should remember - the relationship is always like that "work or doesn't work" but of course LDR is even more harder.
Personally, I believed it is work so long as both parties got a faith and trust. I'm in LDR and been almost 2 years, i got fed up and think something silly sometimes but my bf who always comfort and tell me how much does he loves me. Even though i dont know what will happen in future? We should think positive I think.
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