i'm a work widow - advice?!

my husband works in the banking industry and is such a work-a-holic! averagely, he gets home around 11pm everynight (often times much later!) and works most of the weekend. he always used to work long hours, but since coming to hong kong it just seems to be getting worse and worse. he travels a lot too - probably 2/3 weeks every month (usually back for the weekends if i'm lucky). we have 2 small kids, who he really hardly sees. i feel very sorry for him and i really appreciate him working so hard for the family, but often think whether it is all worth it. we do try and spend quality time together, but the kids and i are very competitive (!!) and often kids win fair square (of course!)! i dont' complain because i know from his point of view it is so much harder on him than me. but sometimes i just get so peed off that i am always stuck on my own and get so envious looking at all the daddies with their families on the weekends (esp on Sundays when i don't even have a helper!). i have to say though it is easier in hk with affordable helpers, very supportive expat friends (who are sometimes in the same boat) and with kids (i was really lonely when i had no kids, used to just party too hard with my single friends!).


anyway there's my gripe! i was wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me - and any advice on how you coped?

I was in a similar situation as yours, for me it built up a lot of resentment as was always at home with our daughter and also working full time (in a similar role to his except I always managed to keep the weekends for family even if he didn't.)The upshot was that I left him.  He used to joke that I was a single Mum for the 1st years of our daughter's life but it was no joke for me.  The real eye-opener was that people stopped inviting him to birthdays, dinners etc as they knew that he would never show and yet again I'd be there on my own (as it had been for the past 5 years.)


Now I am a single mum and life seems easier, I'm no lobger waiting for him to make the effort and have accepted that our approach to family life is very different. Second time round will be with someone who values family and doesn't use work as an excuse to avoid being a parent.


This is my situation and sounds very different to yours so please, please , please don't interpret it as instruction to leave your husband.