what s ur Monthly Expenses.

where does the money gone . m I the only one spending a lot of material things ?


me : no kids

rent : 10 k-15k

transportation : $ 1.5k

eating out : $ 2k

super market $ 4k-5k

weekly spending on material / services /massage : 2k-4.5k

willing to spend on lingerie up to $ 1500 per bra

shoes up to $ 3k

salon 2k ( once in 3-5months )

I don't go to nail salon and stop goin to the beauty salon .

makeup . skin care 2.5k (not always only get it when I need

)




is that normal ?

what are you spending the 4.5k for weekly services for? just wondering? the rest seems fine... apart from monthly spend on make up of 2.5 k - that seems a lot...

Depends, for me it wouldn't be normal, maxium I would spend on a pair of shoes is around $500, bra $400, hairdresser once every 5 months $1,400, services not sure what you mean but never get nails done or have massages, make up mascara and lipgloss when needed! Skin care nivea so cheap.

well ,services : eyelashes perming . massage ...

I was that label before. the longer i stay in HK the more I like label . once u are into label is very hard to go back to the non label stuff .



sometimes i think the amount I spent could put towards traveling and see the world . experience different culture .

I already wait till final sale . and don't buy stuff straight away and see how much I miss it . I do understand things will change after u have a kid . that's why I m worry about even tho I cut down the spending is not enough for the kids .

how much to raise a kid in HK ? need a mil to apply China International school . and school fee normally $ 10 k per month . plus all the little things . everything seem so crazy unless u r really wealthy .

one stroller can coz up to 10 k ( there are a lot of parents using those just wonder how much do they make to afford a stroller cost 10 k . a good air purifier cost 10 K . everything 10 k . how much do u need to make per month to be comfortable .


Feel so stress all of the sudden

good point . so do u have a kid cara ?

"one stroller can coz up to 10 k ( there are a lot of parents using those just wonder how much do they make to afford a stroller cost 10 k . a good air purifier cost 10 K . everything 10 k . how much do u need to make per month to be comfortable ."


I'll agree with cara. It's not THAT expensive if you're a bit frugal. For example strollers aplenty can be found second hand if nothing else. Kids change your lifestyle not only moneywise, but also time wise.


If you see your potential kids as moneysinks (not denying that they are) you should not have kids. I respect that choice. We considered not having children. Nothing wrong with that. I will say that while having children is partly an economic decision, they are not accessories that can be quantified in the terms you are using. No offense but you need to look beyond the money.


Also, one needs to stop worrying about keeping up with the Joneses. So what if your friends and neighbors have kids with all the labels and a zillion toys? That won't make the kids any happier. If I play with my daughters for an hour, building towers out of wooden blocks, that's more worth to them than ten new and expensive toys. My #1 doesn't beg me for stuff. She does beg me to do a puzzle with her. That's not expensive at all.


"$10K is ridiculous to spend on a stroller...."


Guilty! In our defense, I'll argue that it depends how much you use it. We spent USD 1000 in total on a stroller with all the accessories. But it got used 2-3 hours a day for 18 months, and 1 hour a day for 6 more months. Totally worth it for all that usage. The warranty alone made it worth it, as we got one free frame replacement and one new wheel when those broke (all we had to do was call and in 2 days we had new stuff at our door). A "lesser" stroller would probably have had more breakage, been less comfortable to push all those miles, and had a worse warranty.


I will concede that we could have bought it second hand.

Its very true what Cara says, if you wait until you can afford to have a child you never will. Apparently raising a child costs the equivilent of buying a Ferrari, so I have 5 Ferrari's..Babies are actually very cheap, all they need is somewhere to sleep, a pushchair and a few clothes. A lot of what you see advertised for children is unneccessary. Yes they do get more expensive as they get older, and in HK schooling is a huge factor, as are afterschool activites, you just have to let them know that they can only choose one or 2 things not everything. And as axpatguy says, your time is much more valuable than expensive toys.

Your priorities change with kids, so you would probably find you'd automatically start spending less on yourself.

how bout later .when they are in their teen . Seeing all these kids . clubbing . " high end label " handbag ( already !!) ,taxi everywhere .

super slick cell phone . I m worry how can I provide all these ( Not really Spoil ) . even tho I can let them know( sry is out of the subject here. more about parenting ) all the people has these doesn't mean u have to own it ( whatever stuff) as well . but kids like to compare with the others .would they be a shame of themselves if they don't have what most kids have ? ( I m a only child , I was lucky to get what ever I want before so I never get jealous of anyone else )


I understand how much u spend on the kid is up to u and is all depends how u raise your kid ( parenting ) .

let say A girl . all her mates has a juicy tracksuits + chanel handbag +

jimmy choo shoes. So what should I say to her . " i get u when u has a good grade ?" when the other girls get them just went shopping with their mum ?


Actually Should start another thread about parenting .lol

( actually Is all link . since I ve been thinking about having kid or not in the future )

mac.apple, I understand your concerns. But all that stuff is a choice. Of course your kids take their example from you. Maybe toning it down a little is a good thing. But the important thing is to teach your kids what really matters. I won't deny I love my gadgets, but I know they're just gadgets. A big burbling laugh from my daughters is worth more than all the gadgets in the world. You can't buy that kind of happiness.



"but kids like to compare with the others .would they be a shame of themselves if they don't have what most kids have ? ( I m a only child , I was lucky to get what ever I want before so I never get jealous of anyone else )"


If they are ashamed because they don't have the latest gadget, they are seriously screwed up kids. As I see it, one of my jobs as a parent is to teach my kids what is truly important in life. Having the latest cell phone is not. If you make your children confident in themselves, they'll be able to ignore the annoying "mean girls". Heck, my wife and I never had the coolest toys when we were kids or teens. In fact we were both total dorks. But we were happy. And I always get the impression that we are more happy now as adults. We do what makes us and the kids happy without following some sort of social template laid out by the "pretty people".



"let say A girl . all her mates has a juicy tracksuits + chanel handbag +

jimmy choo shoes. So what should I say to her . " i get u when u has a good grade ?" when the other girls get them just went shopping with their mum ?"


Sure. Why not? She will eventually get it. It may take years but she will understand. However if you just keep giving stuff as a substitute for love ('cause that's what it is) you will end up with a spoiled child who will treat you without respect for the rest of your life. You will only be able to connect through things, not through a true emotional bond. It's the difference between mercenary behavior and actual caring.




"I m worry how can I provide all these ( Not really Spoil ) "


Your job is not to provide these. And yes it is spoiling. Your job is to provide security, love, food and housing, schooling, help with homework, "adventures", companionship, a smile, approval, guidance, discipline, love, love, love. Stuff is secondary to all that.



One method is, when the kid is old enough, to have him/her take a summer job (before that, paying for small chores is viable). Tell them you can make a contribution to gadget x, but they will have to pay for most of it themselves. The sense of pride in having actually worked for something will make him/her a stronger, more contented and more independent person.

I don't know what sort of circles you mix in but I don't know any teenagers that have Chanel handbags, copies from the markets yes, but not the real thing. I have a nineteen year old daughter, who is a very canny shopper. All her clothes come from little shops in the Lanes etc, both her and all her friends love rumaging for a bargain, if she spends more than $50 on a top then its 'expensive. She has some friends that shop in places like Mango, Esprit, but to her its mad to spend $400 on something when you can get it for so much less. She always looks gorgeous and has a very good style. Wed is ladies night so that is the night her and her friends go out as they get free drinks all evening. She gets $500 a week 'pocket money, with this she goes out to eat several times a week, buys clothes, goes to the cinema, a night out in town etc. Shes been working all summer but chooses to save all her wages for the future not waste it on labels. Okay my kids don't have all the latest gadgets that their friends have, but they don't do bad and when they do get something they appreciate it and look after it (so far we have had no lost phones). If they really want something and can't wait until their birthday then they have to save up for it. They really don't need the latest phone, as long as it makes and receives calls thats all that matters. I don't think my kids have ever been made fun of for not having cool designer clothes, or the latest computer game, their friends arn't like that, they understand that we do the best we can. Axpatguy is so right, your time and presence means so much more than material things. They will remember fun days out at the beach much more when they're older than if their xbox is the latest model or not.

I have 6 children the oldest2 with my ex ,I used to buy them toys a lot and it got to the stage that they wanted something all the time.They didnt appreciate what they ha,the younger 4 have enough but not all the time.I go to export shops here in Tai Po, I got a Ralph Lauren long black evening gown for $120 bra sets good quality for $40 shoes I like 9 West so mid priced.The twins 1+2 go to a brill local school learning Cantonese,English+Manderine its strict but more relaxed than a lot of private Kindies it costs over $800 a month with the voucher.Im a make up junkie b.ut cut back,it sweats off in the heat anyway.I shop in local chemists,PNS,Wellcome+the wet market,petrol for an 8 seater,theres 8 in our household,I drive boys to school and collect them,our bills for household, food petrol and taking kids out ,,not including club bills or going out ourselves which isnt often is about $20,000.Hair about $500 a month for me 4 boys hair cut $400 every 6 weeks >i agree everything has gone up.Jusscos is a good place to shop for a change.

Sounds like you have a great kid there cd. You obviously did something right there. I have to say I disagree with what you say kids will have in this town, when I was growing up there were a lot of kids that had stuff at school that most adults didn't have themselves. It was fashionable to have a paging service when I was growing up, back before the mobile was ubiquitous and yes one guy even came into school with one of those clunky mobile phones as one-upmanship. I knew one guy that used to come to school with $10,000 in his wallet and that was in the 80's, his parents were absent though and cash was their way of compensating for the fact that he was brought up by his amah. One kid drove his Dad's Ferrari into school and he was 16 years old. And all of this was at an ESF school, my first job was part time at CIS, and my jaw dropped open when I saw the opulence of their campus for the first time and the cars that lined up to pick the kids up and drop them off. It must be worse at those schools.


If anything consumerism in Hong Kong has gotten worse, luxury brands are marketing themselves as aspirational to a wider audience who cannot afford them and I dread to think what it is like now at school. I will say this though, if a kid had something that was outlandish, it was almost never a western kid, though there were rich western kids, it was the Asian kids that had flash gear, whether that was because it was a cultural thing or because they are absent I don't know, but the Chinese parents seem to indulge their children far more than the Western parents. You could argue that this is not surprising at a private school like ESF which for all intents and purposes. But when I was growing up most of the kids were the children of expat government civil servants like I was, whom the government paid the fee's for, parents were on good packages but rich we were not. If we asked our parents for a paging service when we were 14 years old we would have been told politely to pi*s off. Now it goes without saying that kids have mobile phones, if anything I think it will be far worse now than back when I was a kid. But I will say this, no one ever made fun of anybody for not having something at school at least when I was a kid that is not something we did.