toddlers and changing helper...

i posted this in the DH forum but it's probably better off here...


i would like to hear of people's experiences of changing helpers and how their kids dealt with it. my helper's health is not good and i may not be able to renew her contract when it is up next year. on the exact month that her contract is up (april), my son will be 2 years old (exactly 24 months) AND we will have a newborn in the house! i am more concerned how my 2 year old will react to a new helper? does it take days/weeks/months for them to adjust? is there a risk that they may never take to the new one? then what? any advice appreciated. :)

Sashimi Girl, I am dreading a similar situation with helper leaving in a few mths when my son will be just under 2. He's been with her since birth and adores her. I am looking for new helper now and not sure if I should just do it cold-turkey or allow time for both helpers to be around and let my son adjust slowly. Is this a good idea or am I just prolonging the process? I've got flexi work hours so ideally I'd like to see everyone/everything in place before I leave the new helper alone with my son.... feel so bad for my little boy, I know he will miss her as much as we will.... any advice what we could do to help?

I'm on my third child and we've had to change helpers recently. He's 3 and our helper was with him since birth, but our son is adjusting very well. I think Cara's advice was excellent. Don't have both helpers work together. Your child may tell the new helper that he/she prefers the other one and just take it in stride. Our child loves the new helper. He calls the previous one now and then and understands she could not work here any more. We just said she wants to go see her family because she misses them. She will come back to HK, but I won't be running over to see her because it will confuse our child. A few phone calls if he asks will be ok though.

Your helper may be relieved to no longer work with kids. She may prefer a quieter job which gives her more time to rest. you may be doing her a favor too. You need someoen healthy. good luck. by the way, we also changed helpers when our other children were small. kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. it'll take me longer to adjust to the new helper than it'll take my kids cuz i'm the one who has to teach her to cook, how we like things, etc.personally, i'd get a new helper now while you have the time and energy to train a new helper. it will take me 2 months to get the new helper to know most things she will need to know...how to cook our food, where to put things, etc. I suggest you change helpers now. don't do what i did, which was wait and wait. when the baby's born, you won't want to do anything except the basics, sleep, work, play with kids, visit with hubby, cook, etc. getting a new helper takes effort. please do it while you're able. goodl uck.

Cara & NotYou, those are great advice. I'll definitely try them out. My helper is returning home to take care of her own 3-yr old son as her mom is no longer well enough to care for him. My son knows her son from her mobile phone photos, so hopefully he'll understand better why she is leaving...