I need your precious views/feedback on how to reduce the extreme shyness in my 22 month old tot(boy). He is a very very outspoken, confident toddler at home or when with people whom he has familiarity with. When he meets strangers or friends of mine/my husband regularly, he needs time to warm up.
I know that this is normal. But I find that he is too shy, and with some strangers he never warms up.
He would be whispering "Hello Uncle/ Aunties"...
Is there a good technique to make him be himself when he is around other people.
I am worried that if this persist, interviews for schools would be a big nightmare for me!
thanks
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Z
17 yrs ago
Kids are pretty perceptive. I wouldn't worry if there are some people that he doesn't warm up to -- they just might not be worth his time. You probably also want to be careful not to let him think that his shyness is a "defect" and that his mama&papa are disappointed in him or don't love him because he is shy -- that will likely make things worse.
That being said, it's partly a matter of temperment and partly a matter of practice. 22 months is still quite young, but as he gets older, you can make him your go-to guy when it comes to asking salespeople about merchandise, to calling stores to ask opening and closing hours, etc. Not by making up opportunities for him to practice, but by making sure that he gets plenty of practice speaking with strangers in situations that are clearly important and real.
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Germaine WS, our #1 was exactly like that. She is still shy but at just over three she warms up much quicker and is becoming more extroverted.
Z hits the nail on the head. As Z says, it is practice and temperament. Don't shelter him but don't make him feel bad about it either. Our strategy is to expose her to people, but not force her to shake hands or talk. She gets to approach things at her own pace. You won't see immediate progress but your son will slowly open up. Also, once they hit 2½ or so, they become naturally more social, which really helps in this regard.
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Thanks for your advice.
I have also been taking the same attitude re: let him develop at his own pace on this aspect. But I have gotten more paranoid as his interview for nursery is coming up in January, and he would only be 2! I feel like I should do something to hasten the process.
again, your views are most appreciated.
thanks
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Interviews for nursery typically take into account the fact that the kids are young. Many many kids are quite shy at this age so it shouldn't be a problem. If they make it a problem I suggest finding another nursery.
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