demanding child

Am stressed out with the behaviour of my 5 and 3/4 yr old son....... he's retorting back, finding faults constantly, doing just the opposite of what HE wants, keeps asking for permission to do things that don't need permission - like going to the toilet, wearing slippers etc.,not eating properly........ Everyday is turning into a nightmare and everyday the home is a battleground...............

He is pushing the boundaries with you. Are you reacting to his behaviour? If so, then you are giving him exactly what he wants, attention.


If he starts speaking rudely or being naughty, tell him firmly once that the behaviour is not on, if he pushes it again, then give him time out.


If that fails, ignore him. He will soon get bored with his games he is playing with you. The key is not to react and get cranky, easier said than done sometimes.


When my child tries it on me, I say "I'm not interested in this carry-on, it's boring, if you have something a litte more interesting to say, then say it, otherwise I'm not interested". Then simply walk away, or continue doing what I was doing.


I will also take away her favourite toy. She will need to work at being a good girl to get her things back, which could take anywhere from the day to the rest of the week.

neenib is exactly right. It is a call for attention and if even negative attention from you encourages it. Time outs and ignoring work wonders.


- Make sure you are not caught in a negotiation. If he wants to go to the toilet just say "ok" and then ignore him. He probably doesn't want to pee himself.

- Try not to lose your temper.

- Don't make it a "last stand" if it is not so important. Choose your battles.

asking permission to go to the toilet is hardly a major crime. He has to ask permission at school to use the bathroom, so its quite natural to carry that on at home.

As to temper tantrums - according to Supernanny (was watching it last night, and i'm sure your son is angelic compared to the ones on that programme). At this age they are too old for the naughty stair, but you should have a 'cool down area', everytime he does something naughty, or has a big tantrum then you take him to the cool down area, tell him why, then walk away and leave him for 5 minutes (one minute per year of age), then go back and ask for an apology, if he gives one he gets a cuddle and comes out, if not you leave him another 5 minutes.

Agree with the above, any attention is good for a child even negative attention. Give as little attention to naughty behaviour, as above, but equally, praise good behaviour and gives lots of positive attention.