what can i do? teacher hurting child?

today getting by boy (2.5yr old) ready for school he refuse to go and then hug me tie and said "I'm scare" then i asked him what are you scare of? He then reply me "I'm scare of Miss Choy" (who is his leading teacher) I am so shock to hear such a thing. I then follow on to ask him did she hurt your ears and he said "yes" and then i asked did she hit your head too? and he said "yes' (course I did find some slight bruising around his ear twice but didn't think twice and just though he must of hit on something while playing) I asked him several time to make sure is a "yes" reply from him and shockly is a yes. I approached the headmaster and told her this and she reply with a "oh kids say anything to get out of school" style. but I don't think this is something to be taken lightly is a very serious thing. I don't think kids at this age can lie yet maybe they don't understand what they're saying but definitely i dont think they can lie yet. Like to hear some suggestions of what i can do from other mothers. thanks!

I am not saying your child is lying, but when you ask a question to a 2-3 year old like "did she hit you?", then more often than not a child will say yes, because you are leading the questioning for him/her.


Having said that, I would certainly follow up the incident/s. I would go to the head of school and speak to whoever is in charge. If you speak to the teacher directly I suspect she may say it's not true, who would own up to hitting a child?


Has this behaviour just started recently and how long has your child been with this teacher? If you child is knew to school then he may be having separation anxiety.


Whether it be him just not wanting to leave or more sinister, I would definately follow it up with the head of school.


Good Luck

AKKY, I'd definitely monitor this as much as possible. Yes, it may be that you've put the words into your child's mouth, but it may not. It may also be that he's been unbalanced by the change of teachers in the new school year, and/or that the teacher is not as warm/friendly as the old one (but necessarily mean).

He could even be bullied by other kids but be unable to voice it, and is happy to have caught your attention with the teachers' alleged beatings.

Keep a record of the time he started being scared of school/teacher, the times you found/find bruises and the immediate effect on your child (nightmares, can't sleep, won't eat, doesn't want to go to school, hits dolls/pets/baby brother...)

If headmistress still shrugs off the claims when you've gathered enough records, then go above her.

Whatever you do, show your kid you're doing something ("i'll talk to miss Choy tomorrow"), so he knows he can confide in you and you will protect him.

If the teacher HAS been picking on him, the fact that you've noticed and taken it up with the school immediately may put a quick end to it.

A child saying he is scared of his teacher is not a good sign.You need to talk to the Head of the school that you wont tolerate a teacher hitting or harming your child in any form.

I have just removed my son from his Kindy because of his teacher. He started there a year ago and he had 2 alternating teachers. With one of them he would go bounding in and give her a big hug. With the other one, when he knew it was her he would get really anxious and start crying saying "I don't like Miss X". At first I tried to get him over it until I noticed other kids kicking and screaming when they saw her. Once a child was hysterical and was dragged into the room by his arm!!! I do not think this teacher hurt the kids, but she was very aggressive and moody. However she also lied quite a lot to me. My son would come home with massive green bruises / eggs on his head every other week and he would say that X kid pushed him. Other parents would also ask me if my son was OK because he fell off the slide and she would just tell me he was clumsy and walked into a wall. I didn't move him as she was always off sick and then went on maternity leave for ages and my son ended up having relief teachers for 6 months. I was told in Dec that he was to have the same teacher and I took him out.


I do think kids will say YES to a lot of things and to leading questions. I would watch his behaviour very closely. If he is anxious when he sees her, cowers away from her and is fine with others you know she is the problem. She may not be hurting him but she may not be the best person to teach small kids.

At my son's kindy, whenever he's fallen or hurt himself, there would be a note from the teacher/headmistress explaining what happened. Most of the time, my son doesn't even have a bruise, or would have just a tiny scratch, so it's just for my information.

I think if AKKY's school does not care to explain accidents or inform the parents about a fall/fight/bruise, and even goes as far as dismissing the mums with something as vague as "oh, kids will say anything to get out of school", there is a problem with the school/headmistress. If they don't know how to handle these issues any better and serioulsly look into such allegations, they shouldn't be running a school at all.

Quite frankly, if a 2 year old is already "lying" to get out of school at his age, then he's having a bad experience there and this is not a good school.

Before being a full time mum I worked as a preschool teacher with a class of kids from 3 to 4½ years of age. One important factor to remember is that kids, just like adults have different personalities and different levels of sensitivity. I've had kiddies in my class who will cry over anything and nothing, have a fit when their parents leave and never really warm up to the teachers no matter how sweet we were. Others would be talked to sternly and corrected on a daily basis, given time outs on a chair and still come bolting it to us in the morning with a massive smile and an even bigger hug. It was an international school and we often had kids who didn't share a language with us so there would be miscommunications all the time. I remember one time with a particularly soft and sensitive little Persian boy, his father went to my boss to complain that his son had been put in a room by himself as punishment when in reality, my colleague had taken him into the 'play house corner' to play quietly with her and read a book to try to distract him and calm him down as being with the other kids was overwhelming for him and he would do nothing but cry around them which was both distracting to the other kids and not helpful in settling the new boy in.



Some teachers are bad eggs. My grade 2 teacher who was just awful to me was years later fired for hitting kids.



The vast majority however, love kids and wouldn't dream of harming them.