My child does not greet people

My daughter (5 years old) is very sociable among her friends (both my obvervation and her class teacher told me) but she doesnt greet or answer adults when being talked to. People say parents are the best examples of their children. I always greet and talk to people, even inside a lift etc. So I dont understand my daughter's situation. The more I encourage her to say hello etc, the more withdrawn she becomes. Any advice for me?

She is shy. This is normal. On the other hand, learning to greet people is important. I am going through the same thing with our 3½ year old.


I make sure she understands that she has to stop and greet (make eye contact and say "good morning" or "hello"). If she does not, we will not move on. This sometimes requires a good 2-3 minutes of waiting.


- Prepare her before: "We are going past the guard in a minute. You will say hello."

- Be firm.

- Don't ask for the whole thing right away. Work with incremental improvements. You can start with letting her get away with a wave and no eye contact. Then after a few days a wave with eye contact. Then a quiet hello. In the end, after a few weeks, she needs to say hello so they can hear it and make eye contact.

- Don't push too hard. Don't yell or lecture. Quietly expect her to perform.

- Make sure you make it a confidence building exercise instead of something she looks forward to with dread. If she can overcome her fear she will become stronger.

- Accept the occasional setback. She may do fine for a week, then be shy again. When she is overtired, for example, accept a "lesser" performance. As long as the trend is in the right direction.

my daughters the same and she's 7, although is getting better at greeting adults she knows, but why would you be encouraging her to greet people she meets in a lift, surely these would be strangers? It must be quite confusing for kids being warned about not talking to strangers etc, then being expected to greet people in lifts .

Tks for both. Hi CD, may be i didnt explain myself well. I dont mean every one I see in the lift, but I say and I do encourage her to say 'zosan' to those who live n the same floor with us. She talks to (directly or indirectly) children she meets without a slight hesitation but ignore adults completely, even when they tried to talk to her in a friendly way.

Hehe. I see cd's point. But as Mighty says, it's about greeting people she knows and sees pretty much everyday. Like neighbors and guards in the building.