Custody battle for unmarried couple

My best friend is in an unhappy relationship. She has been with her partner for 5 yrs and they have a 3 year old daughter. They are splitting up and unfortunately she was hoping they would part on amicable terms but it looks like that won't be the case. They are not married and he's a PR. She previously had a working visa but quit her stressful job 2 years ago to raise her daughter so she has been on a british tourist visa all this time. The daughter was born in HK and has PR status. She's really concerned about her situation because her partner is threatening her with legal custody. She's an emotional wreck due to all the stress and the silly demands he's put on her as they are still under the same roof. He's been advised not to move out of the flat. I have advised her to get a lawyer asap. She cries everyday and can't seem to gather herself. In the meantime, where does she stand in terms of custody, staying in HK, financial support etc. Does HK recognize defacto couples? Your feedback asap would be greatly appreciated.

If the child has a british passport, I'd advise nicking off unannounced. If you're not married, he's then going to have to go to England and try there, but surely it's in your favour not being married then, if Hong Kong doesn't recongise defacto relatationships. Then technically you're a single mother.

Not a helpful reply at all and the best way to get this woman into trouble. Firstly HK is party to the Hague Convention as is the UK. This means the father does not have to go to England but just declare his rights which means the daughter will be returned to where she is habitually resident, HK, and the mother could possible be extradited to face prosecution here.


HK may not recognise de-facto relationships but obviously recognises parent child relationships - this is why the child has PR. It's very unlikely a court here would allow the child to be taken out of HK.

Well I sympathise with your friend as I've been through unbelievable hell for years with my child's father who was more interested in using the child to damage me than anything else, and apart from the expenses and time involved in legal proceedings, the western legal system may quite often be relying too much on idealistic principles which do not help the suffering parent (most often the mother) at all in real life e.g. look at abusive and morally dubious husbands who contribute nothing to the child's upbringing but whose behaviour bears no influence on the court's ruling on custody, or often the mother's welfare is simply not taken into consideration despite its obvious effect on the child's welfare etc etc. But given all that it is vital your friend gets some legal advice and assistance asap, and the Legal Aid Department in HK can be quite useful if you cannot afford expensive legal bills - they can grant aid even to tourists in a case like your friend's, and in urgent cases aid can be granted very quickly. I believe often the Judge will just give joint custody and restrict the child's exit from Hong Kong, though often physical custody can be given to the mother. I have heard a judge once even suggested to a mother to go on the dole instead of leaving HK when she said she had to go back overseas since she could not get a job here and the father has never contributed anything. That's how reasonable the court can be! I do believe she is not allowed to exit with the child without the father's consent in principle. In case she does, it is true with the Hague Convention the father can start proceedings against her in the UK and the child can be returned in theory. But he will have to go through a lengthy process in the UK and the outcome can depend on many things based on what I have experienced myself. Anyway, I really hope your friend will come through all this OK and may she be reminded that she's not alone and many other mums in her shoes will probably support her! Courage! And best of luck!

If she's on a british tourist visa, she can't stay here and get the dole. So before he goes and undertakes court proceedings she may as well pack up and leave. She's burnt if she stays anyway. If the child has british passport she would also be a british citizen..