Toddler's sleeping problems

For about a month now, my 3 year old has been having problems going to sleep at night. She used to be quite good about it and would fall asleep soon after we turned her in at about 9:00pm. But in recent weeks she's suddenly taken to walking around the room, climbing in and out of her bed (she's now using a toddler bed without a side bar) and generally being very restless and fidgety during bedtime. On several occasions it has taken her until past midnight and even 1:20am one time to finally fall asleep!!! I am at my wits' end at what to do about this. Her routine has not changed at all. It's bedtime reading and milk before 9pm, then she's in the room with me with lights off. Even when I pretend to lie down on the mattress and sleep, she will still crawl over me, walk around and talk and play. This can go on for two hours nonstop!! Is this some weird stage that she's going through? And how can I break her out of this habit? It's upsetting for her as she is not getting enough sleep, and upsetting for me as I can't leave the room and do anything until she falls asleep. I tried cutting her afternoon naps for a few days to see if it would make her tired and more ready to sleep at night, but that didn't seem to have any effect on her at all. She goes to nursery in the mornings, has a 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon and is up from that by 4:00pm the latest. That gives her 5 hours of playtime before bed at night, and by normal standards that should tire a toddler out quite easily already! Please help and give me some suggestions what to do to make my daughter fall asleep easily like she used to. By the way, we always make sure she winds down by 8:00pm each night, but that also doesn't seem to help.

Well, kids do seem to change their habits almost overnight sometimes.


I would start by shortening the nap to 45 minutes maximum. 1½ hours is probably too long. Many three year olds don't have a nap at all.

I agree with axptguy38, her afternoon naps are too long.


My son who turns 3yrs this month does not nap at all anymore and is in bed and asleep by 8.30pm. On the odd day when he does fall asleep in the car during the afternoon for a maximum of 15mins, he cannot fall asleep until 9pm in the evenings. It's amazing how much energy they gain from such a short nap!


As suggested before, cut her nap down to 45mins and see how this effects her bedtime in the evenings.

What time does she wake up in the morning? Does this depend on when she fell asleep and does she have a hard time waking up? If no, she's getting enough sleep and drop the nap entirely.


Actually, it sounds like what you probably need to do is to start working on her falling asleep on her own without you in the room. If she can get in and out of bed by herself, and her room is child-safe, you want to be in the position where you can turn out the light and leave -- this will make going to sleep become her responsibility instead of yours.

Hi...my almost 2 year old son has sleeping problem too. instead of sleeping late, he will wake 2-3 hours at night (eg, 3am to 4 or 5am fully awake). similar to your problem. it has go on for many months, and i also do not know how to solve it. i tried reducing his afternoon nap. average he sleeps 1.5 to 2 hours in the afternoon. however there are times he sleeps only 1 hour, but regardless the lenght of afternoon nap, it doesn't seem to bear any direct connection to his wakefulness at night!! so i somehow deduce that it is not due to afternoon nap!


somehow, this one month, we are back to Australia, may be due to the cold weather, surprisingly he sleeps much better than in Singapore. in Singapore, he will have this night time wake up average 4 times a week perhaps. here...may be only less than 5 times in this one month! also, in Singapore, we will have bedtime story to him before bed, but at the same time, his father will play rough with him in the bedroom, while he didn't do that now we are in Australia.


i also happened to read Gina Ford Toddlers book, she mentioned that around 18 months, parents usually move a child to an adult bed (from baby cot), and that may result in the night time wake up situation. i m wondering did you recently move your child to an adult bed, cos you did mention your toddler bed. i didn't move my boy back to cot...but indeed, my boy seems to wake up at night after i move him to an adult bed. whether it is coincidence, i m not sure. and i can't remember how long after i move him to adult bed that cause him to wake up.


good luck!

"i tried reducing his afternoon nap. average he sleeps 1.5 to 2 hours in the afternoon. however there are times he sleeps only 1 hour, but regardless the lenght of afternoon nap, it doesn't seem to bear any direct connection to his wakefulness at night!! so i somehow deduce that it is not due to afternoon nap!"


It might not make a difference immediately. It can take a few days or more for the nap time change to take effect.


Also, ensure the last hour before lights out is relatively calm. Bath, bedtime story. No TV, no loud music.



Cold is indeed good for sleep. When we lived in the US, it would be 17-18 degrees in the kid's room in winter. They slept like the proverbial babies. Here, the ceiling fan is on even now before the warm season.

My son went through the same thing when he was two and half. We used to stay in his room and lie on a thin mattress on the floor next to his bed till he falls asleep. Somehow this kept taking longer and longer by day. One day I realize our helper (or I) would stay in the room for a couple hours before he finally falls asleep. If he was half asleep and we try to sneak out, he would wake up again!


I decided it was ridiculous to spend two hours to put a child to sleep. So one day I told him I wasn't going to lie down next to him, and he needed to go to sleep on his own. Instead, I placed a chair right outside his door and sat there with the door half open. I kept reassuring him that I was right there for him if he needed me, but I would not 'go sleep on the mattress', despite of a lot of begging and crying from him. During the first evening I tried this, it took a couple of hours for him to give up and fall asleep. But after several nights of persistence, he learned to go to sleep on his own quite nicely and quickly. Little kids are creatures of habit - you can always try to change the undesirable habit with some tactics and careful planning.


The other thing is not to put the child to bed too early or too late. Sometimes for my own convenience I try to make my kids sleep before they are ready - it almost always takes much longer to put them to bed.

My girls gave up naps by 2.5 years. Make sure that your child gets lots of exercise during the day. And check for worms. It's not nice, but can definitely cause sleep disturbances. If he has worms, you can see them if you use a flashlight on his anus after he has gone to sleep. They are wiggly small white threads. The medication is very effective. Try a snack of banana before bed. And how stressful are her days? Maybe she is worried about separation or something upsetting at nursery in the morning and this manifests itself in being hard to get to sleep.