How to get my toddler brush his teeth??

My 30 months old is going through this stage where he hates letting us brush his teeth. I tried letting him brush himself he still doesn't like it. He keeps throwing tantrums and refuses to even stand on the stool. I know I have to persist but it becomes a battle every single night now.


At his age he is getting more active and hard to settle during sleep time. It's so hard to drag him away from his toys/ games for the bedtime routine now. Whenever we say, ok it's time to brush your teeth and take a bath! He says NO! How would you deal with this?

Is electric toothbrush good for kids at this young age? I'm just a bit concerned that if I start using electric toothbrush he doesn't want to use manual ones any more....

- Silly song.

- Let toddler brush your teeth. Alternate.

- Make it part of the bedtime routine and allocate plenty of time.

- Go to the store with him and let him pick out a brush and toothpaste.

- Be firm but kind.

- Do not force mouth open but make it clear he cannot "escape".



The electric brush is fine. But as you say it may be hard to go back.




"It's so hard to drag him away from his toys/ games for the bedtime routine now. Whenever we say, ok it's time to brush your teeth and take a bath! He says NO! How would you deal with this?"


- Be firm. Do not accept a no.

- Give a 10 minute warning, then a five minute, then a two minute. That way it is not a surprise and he won't be interrupted unless he chooses to be.

- When the time is up, he needs to start picking up his toys. You can help but it is his responsibility.

- If he makes a big fuss and start delaying, say that if he keeps it up, no bedtime story. If you are really late, skip the story ("you used that time up with all your fussing"). It takes a while but the message will eventually penetrate.

Thanks axptguy. I think I should get a timer to get these rules enforced. He doesn't really have a clear time concept yet.


And yes, I can't even force open his mouth any more. He just keeps on whining so I can at most distract him a bit to get his mouth opened. Still, such a battle. I'll definitely try out your method. Hope it doesn't take too long to get these ideas acrossed -_- He could be really stubborn.

"Thanks axptguy. I think I should get a timer to get these rules enforced. He doesn't really have a clear time concept yet. "


Well, it takes a while for them to figure out time. But as long as you keep the time and call it out, they start understanding that the clock is ticking, if you will.


"Hope it doesn't take too long to get these ideas acrossed -_- He could be really stubborn."


Don't get your hopes up too early. It can take weeks. But eventually it will work.


An option is to let someone else brush the teeth for a week. Grandma and even various houseguests had no issues at all while our #1 was "resisting" us fiercely. Perhaps your partner or helper can take a turn for a few weeks? It's about breaking the pattern.

Thanks... unfortunately it's just me and helper most of the time and both of us have a hard time dragging him to the bathroom.


Side track a bit, how do you deal with tantrums? Whenever we suggest something he doesn't like (meal time/ bath time/ bed time etc) he says No. Anything that will need to take him away from his toys he doesn't like. So normally it's quite impossible to get him tidy up his toys too in a way as he doesn't even want to be away from them. Shall I just pull his toys away or what? If I act firm and force him to tidy up his toys before bed time routine he could drag on forever as it's not like there's something he is absolutely looking forward to after clearing up his toys. He loves bedtime stories but not attractive enough to make him part with his toys.

"Side track a bit, how do you deal with tantrums? "


Warning, then time out. We try to stay calm. If we start yelling and acting excited, they see it as acceptable behavior for themselves.


Time out works since kids crave attention and if you remove it that is typically punishment enough without any need for other measures. It also gives him time to calm down. This can take a while. Kids don't have the amount of self-control that we do. He can calm down "on his own" and thus "save face". Kids will often be perfectly happy 30 seconds after the time out ended. It is as if the previous events never happened. But if you look carefully they will repeat their bad behaviors less frequently. So they do learn. Just don't rub his face in it. After the time out, it's over. No "that will teach you" or such comments.



"Shall I just pull his toys away or what?"


After a warning, yes. If the toys are what he really wants, a good punishment is removing them.


Say that the toys will be gone if he doesn't listen. And don't give them back the next day, either. He's testing you. Call his bluff. If his bad behavior leads nowhere (or to things he does not want) there is little incentive to keep acting that way.


If he throws a tantrum when you take the toys, warn him, then put him in a time out. Our daughters know very well the consequences from tantrums. They don't go that far much anymore. A warning tends to do it. But it takes a long time to get there.



"If I act firm and force him to tidy up his toys before bed time routine he could drag on forever as it's not like there's something he is absolutely looking forward to after clearing up his toys. He loves bedtime stories but not attractive enough to make him part with his toys."


It's a dilemma. Still, he's old enough that actually explaining has some effect. Also as mentioned you can remove the toys.


I suggest "small moves". Start by cleaning up the toys. Then after a few days ask him to hand you the toys. After a few more days/weeks, ask him to put away a few and you do the rest. Etc... Sneak the change up on him. ;) And don't forget to sing a song! "Clean up clean up. Everybody everywhere. Clean up clean up. Everybody does their share."




It's not easy and it takes time, but kids thrive on boundaries and they make life easier for everyone, including them. And don't for a minute think you are "limiting" your child or being some sort of dictator. Our kids are very free to play with whatever they want, etc... They have tons of fun. But it is important for kids to understand that there is time for play and time for other things. It makes it easier for them to integrate in social units, and removes some of the worrying (for a child) insecurity about what will happen next.


Just stay calm and be VERY patient.

Last night I tried pointing to the clock and told him when it strike at a certain time he needs to go up and brush his teeth. He consciously watched the clock and agreed to follow what we previously agreed on. We were so happy and kept praising him for this good behaviour. I also printed out pictures of other kids brushing teeth and showed him while brushing his. It worked magic (last night)! No fuss at all. Hope we can keep it up this way!


Axptguy I'm also one who believes in setting clear boundaries so I'm a big supporter of your methods haha! However a lot of times I find myself too lenient to enforce the rules... Maybe when I have two kids like you and Cara I will desperately need more discipline at home and will be able to act more firm!

We do the two acceptable choice thing -- 10 min before bathtime, we ask "Do you want your bath now or in 5 min?" which seems to work like magic. Of course, sometimes she says "tomorrow!" and we just say, "your choices were..." or doesn't answer, in which case I answer for her "Now!"


The other thing we do, is if she starts to have a tantrum, we say "you'd better go into your crying room; come out when you're finished." We let her come out by herself [don't even close the door], but if she isn't finished, she goes directly back in. No fuss, we just pick her up and put her in, and then ignore her, but have fun just outside while waiting for her.


Of course, we started this [plus trying to avoid situations that tended to result in tantrums] when she was about 18 mo, and she is a particularly eager to please toddler, but in the last year [she's 2.5 now], I'd say we get one tantrum every 2 or 3 weeks.


The other thing to remind yourself when you are feeling too lenient to enforce the rules [I remind my husband and our helper of this at least once a week...] is that if you don't enforce the rules, you are teaching your kid that they don't need to listen to you -- and in the long run, this is a ton of trouble.

Haha Cara, in fact #2 is arriving in a few months' time. I know what to do now ;)


I also have been reminding him the consequence of not brushing teeth. He knows teeth will fall out and be all gone like his great grandma. Maybe it's not as powerful and effective as to show him pictures of black rotting teeth though haha!


Z, I'll try your method about creating a 'crying room' or 'crying corner'. He isn't allowed to come out if he is still crying - sounds like a cute concept just to think about it :)