Should I discipline my 2 year old boy with spanking??

Hi..sigh..my 2 year old doesn't seem to want to understand my 'no' when i said so. for example, he love to run towards the tv and watch tv real close, or run towards tv and bang his both his hands (which we think is dangerous), or not to lie still when change diaper (always end up struggling).


this is so despite my many attempts to say don't do that or lie still, or even switch off the tv when he watched real close and only switch back on when he sit down at a good distant.


but this is to no avail. is it my boy is too young to understand 'no' or i haven't discipline him 'hard' enough? should i spank him? will he listen to me after he realised i m serious by spanking him?


please advice. he also doesn't talk much (as per my previous thread). so he cannot talk to me.

Spanking is both pointless and counterproductive.

- Pointless because other punishments such as removal of toys and time outs are just as effective.

- Counterproductive because violence breeds violence. You are teaching him that violence is ok. Calmer punishments which do not escalate the energy/tension levels allow him to calm down.



"is it my boy is too young to understand 'no' "


Certainly not. A child under a year understands "no". He's testing you and knows exactly what he is doing.



About turning off the TV, don't just turn it off for an instant. Tell him "no more tv today" and stick to it.



I recommend time outs. You are removing him from attention, you are forcing him to calm down. Be calm and collected. Don't yell or rant. Just quietly warn him, then put him someplace isolated. This can either be a "boring" room or a corner. Tell him he can't come out until he has calmed down. Repeat as needed. Our girls have sometimes required multiple consecutive time outs if they keep misbehaving. In the end, kids want to do whatever it is they are doing. Removing them from that is a good and effective punishment.


Understand that it can be a long process though. Weeks or months.

Totally agree with axpatguy -- with one addition: take stock of your situation for 2-3 days before you begin and ask yourself how many of these situations you can avoid altogether. The reason to do this is that it can get overwhelming for kids to hear "no" all day long, and also that any time you tell your kid no and then don't follow through, you are teaching them that no doesn't REALLY mean no. Then, start with the most important 1-2 things and be completely consistent. Not only turning off the TV, but removing cherub from the room entirely.


The other thing about timeout [the crying room in our house] is that it is imperative that when they come out, their sins are forgiven and you pay just a smidge of extra attention [so glad to see you, why don't we sing and dance together for a couple of minutes]. This reinforces the negative feedback of the timeout [which is really just a removal of your attention] with positive feedback as well [that you still think he is the bees knees]. Your goal is to reward good behavior and make it much more fun than misbehavior.

"take stock of your situation for 2-3 days before you begin and ask yourself how many of these situations you can avoid altogethe."


Yes indeed. My wife tries to tell me not to use "no" all the time. ;) She says you should set the kid up for success if possible. That is, the path the kid wants to take should be the "correct" one. Use positive reinforcement more than punishment. This doesn't mean praising everything the kids does well (an antiquated method trendy a few decades ago), but definitely praise the kid when he or she made a "moral" decision and did the right thing.

I love your replies. I have a 17 months old, who is normally very good kid, but I am sure I will have issues with him soon, as he will probably start proving his independence and testing how far he can go.

I will try to remember the two suggestions here: "no" for the important things to avoid making him think the "no" does not really mean anything; and the extra attention after timeout (if used).