Posted by
sonia_b
17 yrs ago
hi,
my daughter is reaching her puberty. she has developed hair on her armpits and also pubic area. she is only 9 yrs old. i know for her age this is early. this is completely a new experience for me too as a mother .
she is the only one in her class who is developing and she is getting conciouss of the development. so i am worried. i want to prevent her from getting bullyed or made fun of @ school by the other kids as she is quiet sensitive and any mocking will harm her confidence. therefore, i need some advice about:
what do i do to remove hair from her armpits? in school she needs to change into swimming costume and go for swimming with other classmates.
2) as she is growing she sweats a lot as a result she has a strong body odour. however in the morning she uses deodarant after shower and i have put one deo bottle in her school bag also for her to use in the school after play. but looks like she fogets to use it. is there any other way that i can use in the mornings for her so that she can be odourless throughout the day....and is safe for the girl...?
any suggestions experiences are welcome....!
desparate mother
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"what do i do to remove hair from her armpits? in school she needs to change into swimming costume and go for swimming with other classmates. "
Shaving is easiest. At least that's what my ex-girlfriends + my wife do. Get a good shaving system, for example Gilette Fusion Power. Get daddy (he is the expert) to give pointers on technique.
Deodorant shoud be perfectly safe. As for odour, if she has just showers, then sweats, it won't stink. Just smells of clean sweat.
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Hi sonia!
glad to hear from as I seem to be in the same boat!!
my daughter also turnt 9 and has been asking me for months to look for hair armpits!!
on the contrary to yours however, it doesn't seem to be an issue at all, she has many other older friends and has already heard about shaving from her other9-year-old friend..
this is really personal and everyone would do as she/he wishes, but for me I really do not foresee to shave anything which you can barely see really and would not even mentioning doing this until.. as late as possible probably (anyways, she knows what 'it is' and sees me..)
remember that the more you shave, the more hair you get - at least for us women...although it seems to depend with 'what' you are shaving..
but well, once you start, you need to repeat it 'always' so to say, so for me 9 sounds a bit young still. Besides, I see a lot of other 12/14-year-old girls with a bit of hair, doesn't seem to bother anyone..
for the smell/sweating.. I am also like you but unfortunately with no answer either..
I have changed my daughter's shower routine.. instead of bathing at night, she now does it in the morning just before heading to school or whenever but just before going out. For me I am concerned she would use too much of the deo during the day, so haven't used it yet. when you also ask for something safe, unless you use natural deodorants, these are not safe either so??
by the way, my daughter also goes to swim classes with her school, she doesn't let anyone look at her but it doesn't seem to be an issue (but my daughter is actually the youngest girl in her class if that makes it a difference in behaviour?)
I am sorry as I am not very helpful but will be watching the suggestions as well!!
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"remember that the more you shave, the more hair you get - at least for us women...although it seems to depend with 'what' you are shaving.."
This is a myth. Shaving has no effect on how much hair you get. Hair does not grow back more numerous or stronger. It just seems that way since stubble is so "strong". And there is no difference in the effect of shaving between genders.
In other words, don't worry about shaving.
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well I can only speak from my own experience of course.
but I have seen the difference between myself and my sister who never shaved in life.. and I can also see the difference on my legs where I used to use a eyebrow tweezers and where I didn't. and in my case, there is no doubt possible!
and anyhow, for *me*, 9 is just to young to be bothered with that..
besides who is realling noticing this? as far as I know, we are not speaking of lots of long hairs.. but a few tiny ones..
and unfortunately, in life we have to have priorities and this one isn't one for me. but obviously.. this is only me..
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"and I can also see the difference on my legs where I used to use a eyebrow tweezers and where I didn't. "
Tweezers are different. actually pull the entire hair out. So you'll definitely see less hair if you keep doing it. Shaving just cuts it off. The hair follicle is unaffected.
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ok..
right.. sorry I didn't think of the difference between 'shaving' and 'pulling' so thank you for that.
but even though, sonia didn't mention her daughter to be embarrassed so far..
she is only 'speculating' and thinking for the future.
Our kids are all wearing uniform which I think do not really let see hair armpits,
so except in the swimming pool, who is going to notice?
Then I think I said that I was speaking for *myself*..
My daughter has been waiting for her first armpits hair for months, I explained to her that we are all born with some 'hair' in some extent but nothing can be noticed at eyes' view still (and she is not blonde...). I also mentioned that my daughter has known about this from her other girlfriends, so that she doesn't feel any different for this (even if she is for many other points..).
But when my daughter is sad because of comments from other schoolmates (and which are really stupid sometime really...), I explain to her that she has to be proud of herself no matter what, believe in herself and her way of doing and has to continue her own way (as long as I do not see anything wrong with it) without caring of what others are saying.. because I am sorry.. but they will have to face much worse later..
finally, I also mention that *everyone has its own priorities*.
I would not let my child shave alone and would have to do it with her... and which is something I wish I could still spare...
but once again, I didn't read that Sonia mentioned that her daughter was suffering and was being commented because of that etc...
By the way, I have one question (sorry if I may look stupid..), but does the fact of having hair or not influence the smelling or not??
thank you!
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"By the way, I have one question (sorry if I may look stupid..), but does the fact of having hair or not influence the smelling or not??"
As cara says, it's the fact that sweat sticks to the hair that provides a (more) fertile breeding ground for bacteria.
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mish
17 yrs ago
Check out www.thecrystal.com for an alternative natural deodorant. Also, sage is good for combating sweating, just add it to soups, pastas etc.. Eating excessive garlic and onion can add to the smell of sweat which should be odorless.
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hi everyone,
thank you all for immediate response to my concern...
axpatguy, yes i could have opted shaving as a solution but i am not very keen or willing to do it. thanks anyway. i have seen some of your advices on various issues on this site which are undoubtedly convinving to me! sorry not this one. may be if you could think of something else, do share it.
phoenix 7, yes exactly that's what i am worried about. the sad part is that my daughter wouldn't share it with me if someone has commented on her. therefore i want to prevent her from being embarrassed. plus more important is that i want her to maintain the basic social needs which it should be adhered by everyone. even if she is young girl cannot ignore it.
yes cara i appreciate your input. would you have any idea that i can deal with the "smelling issue"...? any suggestions are eagerly waited. Also, since you are in teaching profession, have you ever addressed this issue with the parents or the child himself or herself to combat it..? how they tackled the situation.
mish i will definately visit the website and see how usefeul it is to me.
mismomom, thanks for your detailed suggestions.
missmomo is Nair easily available @ sasa, watsons or mannings store...? are they child safe....?
i have also heard that continous use of hair removing cream can darken the skin on that particular area..is it true?
thanks once again!
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"axpatguy, yes i could have opted shaving as a solution but i am not very keen or willing to do it. thanks anyway. i have seen some of your advices on various issues on this site which are undoubtedly convinving to me! sorry not this one. may be if you could think of something else, do share it."
Hey, shaving is not for everyone.
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Body odour is caused by bacteria. So apart from regularly washing etc, what i find effective, specially in this horrible sticky wet weather, is to use ethyl alcohol to clean. Use a cosmetic cotton ball, dip in alcohol and clean underarms one every three days. wipe and let dry completely, wipe and let dry completely... a couple of times should help. then u can add deodorant or whatever.
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oh and alcohol is very drying so every day may not be a good idea.
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I'd try and frame the situation differently. I'd talk to her about how this is all part and parcel of becoming a woman and how special that is. I don't shave and think that it is so sad that instead of being excited about becoming a woman (and being women) we try and get rid of all of our hair.
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Agreed with prone_to_wonder. A good conversation or three about what is actually going on, and what will happen, should remove some of the uncertainty and doubt from the young girl's mind.
As for the shaving or not, some women wish to shave and some don't. I don't see what it has to do with being/becoming a woman.
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Easier to use depilatory cream? Just put it on before bath, leave for 5 minutes and wash off.
Find some good story books about reaching puberty and that celebrate it and makes her realise everyone will be going through it and she can take pride in being a leader.
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"Some men like shaved women and some don't."
Maybe not a comment for a thread about a 9 year old... Stay in the zone!
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I've removed the comment, but that whole can of worms will open up soon anyway given encroaching puberty.
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Best 'puberty' and growing up books are by Babette Cole - Hair in Funny Place (teached all about hormones, the opposite sex and hair in funny places in a very original and funny way), and Mummy Laid An Egg.
Another one is 100% Me, not sure of the author but it is available from Page ONe.
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my daughter developed very early--as did i--as did my mom. my mom had difficulty talking to me about changes that were happening to me and my body. i did, however read 'are you there god, its me margaret'. it was great, but honestly i would have loved my mom to have had the ability to speak to me about what the hell was giong on. never mind--fast forward--my daughter. the hair, the odor, the breasts developing earlier than her peers, and her period arrving when she was just 11. i began speaking to both my son and my daughter early on about our bodies--differences, changes, respect, this and that. questions were answered honestly, and sometimes a little humor was added in to take those scary thoughts of the unknown away, or at least ease them. when my daughter got her period, i made the biggest, prettiest basket filled with bath salts, shower gel and body mists, girlie deoderant, pink razors, and various sanitary pads--all tied up with a big pink bow. i gave it to her and hugged her and welcomed her to the beginning of becoming a woman. i think its simple--communication and love. kids get that. throughout it all, my daughter has been and is more comfortable in and about her body--more than i will ever be with how i feel about my body.
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Hi Sonia,
I teach people to lose weight on their own according to Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) without being on diet.
1. From my experience I don't quite agree with using anti-perspirant as normal sweating is a way for the body to spread heat and get rid of the toxins in the body esp. in a place like HK. Please let me know if the odour comes only from her armpits (hircismus) or from the whole body? I'll look for a natural solution for you.
2. As for romoving the hair, you can use green walnuts(not ripe walnuts), wrap them in a piece of gauze, squeeze until the juice comes out and rub the armpits. It's a traditional Chinese way - I'm against shaving too as the more you shave the more and harder they grow. In TCM, everything is medicine ie. fruit, vegetable, plant, even spittle which can sterilize people's wounds is medicine.
As I rarely visited this website, if you reply pls refer to alexandrazhangtcm@126.com. Put the subject as :Sonia, so I know it's from you.
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"From my experience I don't quite agree with using anti-perspirant as normal sweating is a way for the body to spread heat and get rid of the toxins in the body esp. in a place like HK."
Well, there's the whole rest of the body to sweat from. I'm sure eliminating just the bits doesn't have a huge impact on cooling capacity.
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selda
17 yrs ago
What's wrong with hairy armpits?
Boys have them too, and nobody is suggesting they shave their armpits. Too much pressure on girls these days.
Let kids develop naturally, without imposing an artificial idea of beauty, created by marketing whores. In many countries it's perfectly fine to have hairy armpits. Why does HK have to follow American diktats on beauty? The French, the Germans, the Italians, the Russians etc. don't shave their armpits, unless they wear a sleeveless evening dress.
As to deodorants and anti-perspirants, they can be very harmful. My sister developed a huge cyst under her armpit because she used an anti-perspirant that blocked her pores. Her doctor explained to her that anti-perspirants cause so many health problems, and yet people keep buying them and risk serious side-effects, because of social pressure.
If your daughter takes a shower in the morning and one in the evening, there should be no offensive body odour.
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"What's wrong with hairy armpits?
Boys have them too, and nobody is suggesting they shave their armpits."
I'm a guy and I shave my pits. Not every day, but every couple of weeks in summer. Keeps the pit hair reasonably short. It's a comfort thing considering the heat here.
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My daughter started puberty young too - at 8. She is now 11 and, while she has still not had her first period, the other signs of puberty are now clearly developing.
With early puberty (it is called precocious puberty if it develops before 7) the main concern is height. What we did, and I recommend , is to see a medical specialist to see if there are any developmental issues whic need to be addressed. We saw Prof Louis Low at QMH. They check hormone levels and bone age and can give you a height prediction.
Prof Low told me that while girls are now starting puberty earlier the average age for menarche is still 12 - it is just strectched out.
As to the other issues, the main thing to address, in my opinion is good body image and self confidence. The book I'd recommend is the American Girl book on growing up (my daughter and I read it together on a plane). Treat her development as a normal interesting thing happening to her body - encourage her curiosity but respect her increasing need for privacy.
My daughter has not yet shaved under her arms and i would caution against doing it too early - the first hairs are pretty sparce - nothing like an adult's - and a morning wash should be sufficient to keep the odour at bay.
Many mothers are concerned about using deodorants with aluminium in them with young children - i share this concern. A friend of mine also told me about lavender oil being linked to health issues but I do not know if this is a real fear. Many Asian children use talcum powder to keep their arm pits dry and this really is the simplest solution - wash, don't shave until there is really something to shave and use talc - also work on that positive body image (this is probably the hardest bit!)
Good luck
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selda
17 yrs ago
Some children enter puberty earlier than others.
It's a perfectly natural transition, unless brought on by excessive estrogens in the environment. Once you explain it to the children (boy or girl) and make them proud of finally joining the ranks of adults, there is no need to mask or hide it.
In many religions this transition is marked by a collective celebration. Think of Bar Mitzvah for the Jews or Confirmation for Catholics.
I entered puberty at 12, but some of my classmates started earlier.
Actually i couldn't wait to see some changes in my body, i too wanted boobs and if they came with hairy armpits and legs, fine.
I first shaved my legs at 15, when i became sexually active and to this day i only shave my armpits when i wear a sleeveless top.
I never use deodorants, but i don't smell either because of a vegetarian diet and frequent showers (without soap). If you have a healthy lifestyle your body doesn't smell. Just ask any TCM doctor or naturopath about it.
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"I never use deodorants, but i don't smell either because of a vegetarian diet and frequent showers (without soap). If you have a healthy lifestyle your body doesn't smell. Just ask any TCM doctor or naturopath about it.
"
Your vegetarian diet may alter your body odor, but it certainly won't remove it. And people with healthy lifestyles can certainly smell. It's simple: sweat that remains there for a while will start smelling because of bacteria that grow in it. Lifestyle or diet have nothing to do with it. Your frequent showering is the reason you don't smell.
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cd
17 yrs ago
To selda,
Being 'European', and having lived in Germany, and the UK,I would just like to say that whilst many northern European women do not shave, the majority do. And Many men nowadys also shave their armpits - just look at swimmers, dancers, gymnasts etc on TV, you'll see its a growing trend.
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