Posted by
Mighty
17 yrs ago
My daughter is 5 and half and has the habit of repeating in a conversation all the time. For example, she wld ask for an answer and even if your answer is to her satisfaction, she still repeats asking the same thing so to get the same answer. I was patient in explaining to her at the beginning but got fed up and denied what I promised before. Then she said "Oh, i mustn repeat". She did stop for a while but the same cylcle started again after a while. What do you do in this situation? Kindly advise.
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maybe she needs to hear it twice to process what you've said.
you can try to ask her to think about what you said you to her and then like cara says, ask her to try to tell you what you've just told her. if not, then i guess u'll just hafta repeat it for her. i don't think you should give her a hard time about it.
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cara / michelley
you got this the wrong way around, i believe. her kid is asking the mom the same question twice...
sorry don't know the answer...
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my kids are doing the same thing... not just the 5.5 year old, the 3.5 year old does it all the time too.
It's driving my nuts. So after I answered twice or thrice, I go silent. Then they keep saying it, my highest record... my son, 3.5 year old.... repeated his SAME question over 225 times. ( I counted it). I was driving..... I nearly wanted to jump car.
They do it not because they didn't hear me... they do it because they aren't really thinking what they are asking, just rambling on, and babbling but trying to get my attention.... by the 4-5 th time... I see my daughter's eyes wandering around the room, not really knowing she's saying something to me.
WEIRD, but annoying to the MAXIMUM.
So I either go silent, or I will say, I already said "YES." You keep repeating the question, I will now say "NO." Then they start crying with the top of their lungs.
The other thing I do is when they do that to me, I do it back to them.
I said to my daughter " Sweetie, what do you want for lunch?" She said "Macaroni and cheese". Then I ask her again and again and again.. .she got very fed up and said, " Mommy ! I already said Macaroni and Cheese! Are you listening?"
Then I said, "that's what you do to me! " Now do you know how it feels?
it works for my daughter for about 2 or 3 hours... then she sometimes forget again.
No idea why !!!!
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Yup, my situation is exactly same as Katetam's. My daughter started this only in recent months. I know children do need reassurance but if this happens on almost every question, really it drives me nuts!! I also did what someone had suggested above to ask my child repeated what I answered. But then for the next question she just did the same thing again. I also agree with Kate that most of time children are repeating for the sake of repeating and getting attention, and they are not really listening to whatever you say. It is really really annoying and wonder if there is anything mothers can do to help, Or just let nature takes it course... "oh one day, they wl stop..." (^-^)
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ok sorry about that ;-)
so let me clarify: you son asks 'can i have an ice cream?', you say 'no' and then ask him to repeat your answer ('no')?
isn't that a bit excessive?
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i don't think i misunderstood. that's why i suggested what i suggested. anyway....
i can see how it can get totally annoying, but if asking her to repeat your answer doesn't work, then just stop talking. i know she will continue to ask and drive you up the wall, but there's not much you can do. i think she just needs to grow out of it. have you tried changing the subject all together suddenly while she's blabbering on and on? does she only do that wiht you? how about at school?
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Ok, example:
Today, there is a birthday present that is not opened yet for my daughter. She takes the pkg and comes to me while was eating breakfast, "Mommy, can I open it?" Then I said, "Not yet." Then she will repeat again. Then I repeat again.
By the 3rd time, I said, "I already said "NOT YET" Did you hear me? "
She says, "I know !!! But I really want to open it !!!"
Then I ignore her, eating my breakfast.
She continues to bug me and start whining... "I want to open it! I want to open it.!!!"
I continue to ignore her, and she starts ripping the pkg... I quickly take it away, and say " I said NOT YET !" very firmly. Then she starts kicking and screaming and crying "I want to open it! Iwant to open it !!!!"
I didn't give in, but this went on for over 30 minutes.
EVERY single interaction has become like this... from "Can I eat this?" to "I don't want this for lunch." to tattling the other sibling.
I am losing my hair... literally... by the bundles.
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Instead of saying "not yet", say "no, wait til lunch." NOt yet can sound like there's room to negotiate. Then take it and put it out of sight and get your child to do something else. All kids do that. Kids with adhd or add do it more.
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from Katetam's example, it sounds more like she testing out her boundaries.
i agree wtih notyou that perhaps a positive answer might put her more at ease and physically take the present away. So like, say, "we can open it after mommy finishes breakfast." and then take it away from her. then if she tantrums, u'll just have to ignore her.
i can feel your annoyance (i would be annoyed), but perhaps given time, she'll learn that what mommy is the boss not her.
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