Posted by
Havefaith
17 yrs ago
My daughter is 7.5 months old. She started sleeping thru the night when she was 8 weeks old (after receiving very good advice on this forum). She started waking up a couple of times in the middle of the night when she was about 3 months old. I would just hold her and rock her for 5 mins and she will go back to sleep. However, I thought it was temporary - and only a night here and there. It has become a regular event. So we decided to follow Gina Ford's advice in The complete sleep guide and would put her down and let her cry it out and only go in every 10 mins to stroke her and say "shhhh".
Is this the right thing to do? We just started last night. In addition, how would you give her a bottle at 10pm if she is in the middle of crying or if she has just cried herself to sleep.
Thanks for your help.
HF
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Isn't it great how babies change their sleep patterns? I am convinced they do it just to drive parents crazy. "Ok, now they think they have me figured out. What new trick can I throw at them." ;)
I think you should let it go a 10-14 days least with a new "method" before deciding whether it has worked or not. The important thing is to give things time and be consistent.
"10 minutes interval crying it out" worked well for our kids. The important thing is not to give in. Kids will ruthlessly exploit any weakness. You might also want to shorten the interval to 6-8 minutes.
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my little one started doing the same thing about the same time ... she is now 9 months. not sure if there is a growth spurt at that point or what was going on but we did a couple of things - we got a grobag sleeping bag as we think she might have been getting cold as she kicks off any blankets, and we have the air con on in her room during the night.
We also stopped doing the 10pm feed - for some reason she did better going from 7pm to 7am without being woken for a bottle, rather than being woken up. But we were also well into 3 meals a day of solids.
We also were doing cry it out and that did mean about a week of disturbed nights as she would wake at some point between 11am and 5am and cry for up to 2 hours even with one of us either sitting with her or going in regularly.
These 3 things were not all done at the same time but over a few weeks, and something worked as she is now doing her regular morning and lunchtime nap (has dropped the late afternoon one), eating well, settling herself to sleep and sleeping all night.
It is so hard when you are in the midst of it and sleep deprived yourself, but you have to stick to it for a few nights and try a few things and one of them will work if you are consistent.
And as axptguy says - then they will find a new thing to perplex you ;-)
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Axpt38 and kiwimmc,
We have been trying the crying out method since monday night and are quite happy with the results so far. She cried for 1.5 hours the first night and that has reduced to 30 mins now. I would go in between 6 to 10 mins and stroke her and shhhh her. She has been sleeping thru the night since tuesday night - I have not had 8 hours uninterrupted sleep for so long - I almost forgot how it feels.
We have been putting her in grobags since she was about 3 months old. With the results that we have now, I probably wont do anything else for the next few days and see how that goes.
Thanks for your help.
HF
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Axpat38 and kiwimmc,
Should I being doing crying out method for day time naps? or just the one at 8 pm or 9pm before she sleeps thru the night?
Many thanks,
HF
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"Should I being doing crying out method for day time naps? or just the one at 8 pm or 9pm before she sleeps thru the night? "
In my opinion yes, but perhaps a bit more "gently". However you need to look out with daytime naps and adapt their length continuously depending on whether little one slept well overnight and so forth. This applies especially as little one gets older.
"We have been putting her in grobags since she was about 3 months old. With the results that we have now, I probably wont do anything else for the next few days and see how that goes."
There should be no other kind of bedding (including pillows) for the first year anyway due to SIDS risks.
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Axptguy38,
What does a gentle crying out method means?
Thanks for the bit on SIDs - We intend to keep her in her grobag til she is at least 1 yr old.
Many thanks,
HF
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"What does a gentle crying out method means? "
Hmmm. It's hard to explain. I guess during the day it is sometimes harder for them to sleep, and they may not be that sleepy. So you have to know when to give up and just let them be awake. At night though, you KNOW they need to sleep so you keep going until they surrender.
Or something. ;)
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Axptguy38,
Understood. Thanks again. :)
HF
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I would second comments on day time - At night I am strict about no eye contact, talking etc but for the daytime naps I am more likely to go in and shush or sing a lullaby, even nurse for a little while to get her to go back to her nap..
And yes the end game is sleep and getting them to settle themselves to sleep so you have to do the day time and the night time in some parallel.
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After 29 days of crying out, our daughter had a relapse. She had been crying less since my last posting - it reduced to 2 mins (max). However, 2 nights ago - she cried for half and hour (and even stood up in her cot to cry- as if she is angry). Tonight she cried for 1 hour - before her 10pm bottle then after her bottle she went straight to bed.
I thought it was because she is teething but she has been been teething for more than 2 weeks and the relapse is new. The other possible reason is my helper rocks her to sleep during the day - so I think our daugther is crying for our helper.
Can you please let me know what you would do if you were me.
HF
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Relapses happen. You just go with the flow and stay consistent.
You might want to talk to the helper so that all the caregivers are consistent.
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Axptguy38, Thanks for your help. I have spoken to our helper. As of last night, our daughter is back to being OK with the crying out method - cried for about 5 mins. HF
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dear all please give me advise about 4 month old girl. since she is born she never slept long enough through the night. she only falls sleep while feeding from bottle. otherwise she never fall sleep her own.now she is already 4 months old by this time infant should sleep longer at night but this is not happening in her case. She gets up 3 times at night. sometime she doesn't sleep till 1 am, she gets up 4 am then 7 am, 9 am, 11 am. during day time her nap is not longer then 30min, i be lucky if she can sleep day time more then 2 hours very rearly this happens. her health is fine. she only drink 2 oz milk or maximum 3 oz not more then that and i have to feed every one or two hours. i am tired and exhausted. any advise will be appreciated.
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There are various methods for making kids fall asleep on their own. We used "cry it out". We also used it if they woke up at night. The child should to learn to fall back asleep by herself.
- 1-2 hours before bed. Always do the same routine. Avoid excitement like loud/rhythmic music, TV and dim the lights a bit.
- Put baby in crib. Say goodnight. Leave without hesitation.
- If she cries, wait 5-6 minutes. Make sure you use a clock/watch.
- After the time is up, go in. Do not pick her up. Do not turn on the lights. Perhaps stroke her a bit but do not linger. Say night night again and leave.
- Wait 5-6 minutes, etc...
- Repeat until she falls asleep. This may take literally an hour the first time. It will get better.
The other thing is about the milk. She doesn't seem to be drinking a lot. Perhaps she is drowsy. Make sure she is hungry and alert. Take off clothes until she is not warm anymore as that induces drowsiness. Make sure she is sitting up while having her milk. Slowly stretch the time between feeds by 10-20 minutes a day. As the feeds become less frequent she will start eating more.
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My child is 14 months and I am not using any crib side pillows or any other side protection is that safe? What if the leg gets caught in between the crib bars?
Also my child goes to bed at nine pm and wakes up at eight and only takes one nap at around 11.30 for an hr or sometimes an hr and half. How many naps should they take?
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Hi Purefit
Don't use a pillow or side protection for your child. Pillows are not necessary and are a SIDS risk while side protection (AKA bumpers) are for bubs who throw their arms and legs around before they know they have them. It is highly unlikely your child will get a leg caught, but if you are particularly worried you can put them in a Grobag and that will protect there legs.
As for the sleeps. 11 hours overnight and 1.5hours during the day is a little less than they normally need, but each child is different. If you child is happy to play by themselves and can focus on a toy/book/activity for several minutes in the afternoon, then they are getting enough sleep. If they can't, then perhaps putting them to bed earlier and encouraging a second day sleep might help. If you try this option, make the transition slowly ie bring the bedtime forward by 10 minutes each day, until you get to 7 or 7.30pm. My son is 13 months. Goes to bed at 7pm, sleeps 11hour, has two day sleeps of 1.5hours (8.30am 12 noon).
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"What if the leg gets caught in between the crib bars?"
It is unlikely a leg will be caught very often, and in any case, the worst thing that will happen is a screaming baby. As bigwhale mentions, pillows and side protection are not really safe due to SIDS.
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Z
16 yrs ago
That's pretty much exactly how much my 14 mo sleeps [7-6:30 with a one hour nap around 12:15]. Some kids just need less sleep. One thing that we have found is that by being very strict about what time ours go down for naps and at night we get much better sleep from them. Our helper is wonderful, but in her mind +/- 45 mins is on time, and for my kids we get the best results if we keep it more like +/- 5 mins.
It does seem like that is a pretty long time between waking up from his nap and going to sleep at night. Does he get irritable towards the end of the evening? I once read that kids wake up on average at 7am regardless of what time they go to bed. If you watch him for a few days, you might find that there is also an early window to put him to sleep that will not interfere with his wakeup time.
Bottom line is that if that schedule works well for your family, run with it.
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So when do you give kids pillows?
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18-24 months. And even then they need hardly be thick. Just a very thin pillow (3-4 cm) is enough at least up until age 5.
I have even heard no pillows at all before 24 months.
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In my opinion all baby pillows should be banned by law. A child doesn't need a pillow until they are old enough to be in a full size bed. Why? An adult needs a pillow to maintain the spine in alignment, but babies and young child have straight spines so a pillow is detrimental, a SIDS risk and also causes the back of the head to become flat (as it restricts the bub from moving their head).
Tragically these pillows are very available and come as part of linen packs, in prams and as free gifts with milk formula. Give your child the gift of an egg shaped head and not use a pillow.
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So bigwhale, at what age do you suggest a pillow then? 24 months? (some two-year-olds will migrate to a proper bed at that age...)
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"So bigwhale, at what age do you suggest a pillow then? 24 months? (some two-year-olds will migrate to a proper bed at that age...)"
At 24 months, get a very thin pillow. 2-4 cm thick only. Just like the one you mention. At 5-6 years, go for the "proper" pillow. For the record, our girls migrated to a big bed at 16 months, sans pillow.
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My 11 month old daughter had been sleeping thru the night since she was 8 weeks old (with a couple of relapses since then). However, it has been quite bad lately. I suspect it is related to my ILs being in town.
My ILs have been in town for 6 weeks - and they always let her crawl all over the apt. As a result (or at least I think it is the result), from 4 weeks ago our baby wakes up at least once every night - sometimes 4 times. This morning she was up from 4am to 6am. In the past week, my ILs did not come over for 2 days and both of those nights our baby slept thru the night. When our helper or I look after her, she crawls around her room (which we have padded and child proofed).
Is it possible that our daughter is too excited about crawling around the apt? I have asked my ILs to play with her in her room - but my MIL seems to think I am making up this stuff. They have offered to come over once every two days as opposed to everyday - but it seems cruel becos they are leaving in 3 weeks.
It is becoming tough on me because I work Mon to Thurs and I have not been getting a good night sleep for the past 4 weeks.
Please advise. Thank you.
HF
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Cara,
How do I deal with the sleeping issues? Is it possible that the crawling around the apt is affecting her sleep? The ILs seem to have a big impact on how much she sleeps.
HF
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Growing pains are a pain (heh). Our eldest has the same issue. It comes in waves. Every night for a week, then nothing for a while. No fun for parents.
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cara/axptguy38,
as always, thank you for your help. i will try my best to live thru this period without yelling at someone. the good thing is my ILs leave in 3 weeks.
HF
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Hi there,
I would agree that it's good to let baby crawl all over the apartment.
Do you think there's any noise at night when the ILs stay, that's causing the baby to wake up? Loud snoring or something...
Or is her day-time pattern being disrupted and the ILs are letting her sleep more during the day?
My daughter always gets extremely excited before bedtime and my mum and me unfortunately encourage it, sometimes screaming together with her and playing hide and seek! It's so much fun. Luckily though she has no problem falling right asleep after our rowdy play sessions just before bedtime...
Good luck.
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Slammy,
Thanks for the suggestion. My ILs are staying at a service apt and they only come over during the day. Unfortuantely, I cant blame them for their snoring. The day time sleep pattern seems the same.
I have asked them to reduce the amount of crawling around the apt (as opposed to eliminating it altogether). It seems to have helped. Our daughter will only wake up once or twice with the reduced amount of crawling. She also sleeps thru the night when the ILs dont come over.
They are leaving in about 2.5 weeks - I will just have to take one day at a time.
HF
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